Soothing Burn
by Kimmydonn
Summary: You read Eclipse, Leah got burned. Then she gets burned again. Imprinting on vampire? Seriously? How cruel is fate going to be? On the other hand, perhaps this burn will soothe the hurt away. Leah/Marcus love and lemons - how can you say no?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N I don't own anything. Thanks to Sharebear for the title._

I sat with my laptop open and textbook on my lap, verifying the latest section of my paper. Everything looked good so far. I grabbed another reference and checked my work against that as well. I jumped down to my citations and made sure that everything was listed there. This bloody paper was going to be a quarter of my grade; it needed to be perfect.

I flipped windows to my email.

_Lea__h,_

_Just saying hi and wondering if you have a better idea what you'd like to do tomorrow night. Movie? Dinner? I can cook. I make wicked Pad Thai. Let me know._

_Doug_

I smiled. He cooked. What kind of luck was that? I started to write a reply:

_Doug,_

_Pad Thai sounds fabulous. I'll bring the wine. Unless you'd rather I bring the Vitamin R._

I didn't get a chance to send before my phone rang. I looked to the clock. It was one in the morning. Who would be calling me now?

"Doug?" I asked.

"No." The voice was familiar, but different.

"Black? Is that you, Jake?"

"Heh, yeah. Long time no see, Leah."

"No kidding. That was kinda intentional, you know."

"Yeah, I know." He was sheepish. That meant he wanted something.

"So why are you calling me in the dead of night, Jacob?"

There was a pause. He wanted something _and_ I wasn't going to like it. This just kept getting better.

"Is Seth Okay?" I finally blurted out, starting to fume.

I stood up and stretched. I wasn't angry, I reminded myself. He hadn't woken me. He hadn't said anything, yet.

"Seth's great, Leah. Helping my dad get shitfaced as we speak."

I relaxed. I should have remembered the upcoming wedding. I was still debating inviting Doug. We weren't that serious yet. A wedding, with family, that might be pushing it.

"I have a favor to ask, Leah."

_Here it comes._ "Yes, Jake?"

"Nessie's gone to Italy, to the Volturi."

I really didn't care about his freak of an imprint. She was sweet and all, but she was still half-leech. On the other hand, she did a hell of a job on those creeps chasing her. I had to respect a girl who was prepared to stand up for herself. Which brought us back to those creeps, the bloodsuckers. "Yeah? I thought we took care of that problem."

"Apparently they've regrouped. I'm taking a handful of us with her family to bring her back."

Oh no. No, no, no. No, he was not.

"And you know Sam's got Levi now."

"I cannot believe you're asking me this." I was growling. I was actually growling. Goddamn Jacob Black.

"I need you, Leah. I need my second. I'm bringing the puppy, and I know you can keep him in line." I wasn't listening anymore. I was desperately trying to count breaths. In-two-three-four-five. Out-two-three-four-five. Yogic breathing. Keep calm. You are a woman, not a bitch. "You know I wouldn't ask if I didn't need you, right?"

"Yeah," I admitted gruffly. "I know."

"But with Ness in trouble, I'm going to be a piss-poor Alpha. I need a second with pull, and that's you. None of the boys will give _you_ any kinda crap."

I chuckled. "Keep buttering, Jake. I think you've almost greased me up. When's this pleasure cruise leaving?"

"Five? But from Seattle, so you can take your time."

I snorted; so much for sleep tonight. "Yeah, I'll see you there." I hung up and went back to my laptop. The screensaver had just come on. I saw my letter to Doug. Crap. I deleted it and started over.

_Doug,_

_Bad news. Family needs me for the weekend. Really crappy timing, I know. I'm so sorry to bail on you. We'll do something during the week, okay?_

_Leah._

Jacob Black was going to pay. I closed my laptop and packed it with a couple of my books in my messenger bag. Then I pulled out a duffel for a few clothes and necessities. I opened my closet. What wouldn't I miss? I pulled out a ratty old sundress. I was amazed the thing didn't have holes. Why had I brought this to Seattle at all? It belonged in a rag bag. Still the sunflowers were cute. It would be excellent shred-wear. I changed into clean jeans and a button down shirt. Finally, I set the alarm on my phone and tried to get an hour or two of shut-eye.

At four-thirty, I paid the cabbie and took a seat on a bench outside the airport. There was no missing the parade of flashy cars as they made their appearance. My brother stepped out of one and my eyes narrowed again. Jacob was bringing Seth. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. He really knew how to push my buttons. I also counted leeches. They were two short. Doctor Fang wasn't among them. Great. I picked up my bags and met Jacob outside the doors.

"I can't believe you have me flying with leeches to meet more leeches," I complained.

"Yeah, but it's to take out a whole lot of bloodsuckers, so you're going to come, right?" He smiled at me. What gall. What utter arrogance. And then he put his arm around me. Did he not know how hard I was fighting to keep composure? He probably didn't, I was doing a good job.

"Yeah, for that, and to make sure you don't get my little brother killed." I punched Seth in the arm and he whimpered like the baby he was.

"Thanks for coming," Jacob said with a kiss. "I need a level head out there. Mine's going to be a mess."

I shrugged off his arm. He really had some nerve. "If I have to spend another year trying to shed the wolf, Jacob Black, more than your mind is going to be a mess."

We checked in, and I happily took a window seat. No one was going to try trading with me. Seth sat with me for a while. He caught me up on everything new with Mom and Charlie, which wasn't much. They were old and happy. Work was work. What was new? So I pulled out my laptop and started working on my paper some more while he slept. I had a reply from Doug:

_Leah,_

_Sorry to hear you won't be around this weekend. I still have all the ingredients for Pad Thai. How's Thrusday?_

Nice, he wasn't mad. I replied to tell him we were on for Thursday. Around then Jake woke Seth and took his seat.

I punched his arm when he sat down. "I owe you way more than that," I reminded him.

"Yeah, you do," he agreed. "How are you, Leah? Liking Seattle?"

"I am. Classes are great. I have a job just off campus in a pizza joint. It sucks, but it gives me a little extra cash. And I have a boyfriend." I punched him again.

"What was that one for?" he asked.

"Making me miss his Pad Thai. He was going to cook for me this weekend, you jerk." I was teasing though, and he could tell.

"That's awesome. That you got a guy, not that I'm a jerk." He yawned widely. "I should really sleep, but I just can't."

I just nodded; I didn't really care about his personal issues. I was kinda curious why his girl had run off, but didn't especially want to ask. "Why are we on such an early flight anyway?" I asked instead.

"To beat the Vamps from Denali."

"More bloodsuckers, just great," I muttered.

"Yeah, the more the merrier, right?"

"Whatever." I pulled out one of my books and opened it.

"That for class?"

"Yeah. This had better not take long. I have a paper to finish for next week."

"A paper? What's it on?"

"Substance abuse. Cocaine specifically." I showed him the cover of my book.

"Really? So, does studying addictions like that help you understand why we wolf and why it's so hard to stop?" Insight – not Jacob's strongest suit.

"A little. I'm still figuring it out myself. When I have an answer for you, I'll let you know." I smiled and looked back into my book.

"So, who's the guy?" he asked now. "How long?"

I narrowed my eyes. Why did he want to know? "Not long. Just a classmate. His name is Doug. I don't know if it's going to work, but it's nice to know I can still snag a guy." I grinned.

"And one who cooks Pad Thai," he laughed.

"Well, I've got my standards."

He fell asleep after that and I went back to my paper and my book. Edward looked over the seat at me at one point. _What?_

"Interesting paper," he commented.

_Freak._

It was a quiet flight for the most part. Most of us slept. I looked out the window eagerly when we were flying over the continent. I'd never been so far from home. The green here was completely different from our forests. The white of the buildings made a startling contrast.

Of course, nothing is simple. We had to sit around the Pisa airport waiting for leeches. Doctor Fang and the soldier were already there, but the ladies were taking their sweet time coming from Alaska.

Airports are so generic. If we had to wait I wanted to be outside. I was pacing before I realized it. I stopped myself and did some stretching instead. I drew a bit of an audience. I didn't give a damn. If they'd never seen the sun salutation before, screw them.

I felt more human after a set of three and went in search of coffee. I found the Cullens getting a rental vehicle a couple counters down. I walked back with them. "How many are we?" I asked the doc.

"Eight in our family, five in Tanya's and six of your pack, of course."

I nodded and sipped my java. "We need all that?" I asked.

"Hopefully we don't need any of us," he answered. Always the optimist. I quickened my pace and got upwind of them. My nose was going to regret this decision. Check that, my nose already regretted this decision.

Thankfully the second clan had arrived in my absence, so we were ready to go. The coffee had woken me just enough to really enjoy the scenery. We only had two leeches in our van, too, so the smell wasn't unbearable. Some of the guys could use with a shower though.

The buildings were so... old. I'd never seen things so old. Our people had been on the peninsula for centuries, but our structures were never meant to last. Not like these stone buildings. And the sculptures and fountains, it all screamed of age and time.

"Leah," she short leech asked me, "can you collect a change from everyone? Just in case you need it." She passed me a pack.

"Yeah." I passed the bag around and the guys all stuffed shorts and shirts in. "Okay, all Y chromosomes out, please." I demanded. I got a couple of odd looks, but closed the door forcefully on them all before changing into my shred-wear. I squeezed my jeans and shirt on the top of the pack and opened the door again. I kicked off my shoes just before jumping down.

"Thanks," Alice said, taking the bag from me.

"Sure. Thank you." She didn't need to carry all our stuff. Well, one of them did. It defeated the purpose if one of us carried it.

She smiled at me, and I walked a little faster to catch up to Jake. Just because I was polite, didn't mean I wanted to get friendly. I watched the doc suddenly veer off the road. What the hell? Then we caught up to the smell. Leeches. Gag me.

"You are going to pay," I muttered at Jake, covering my nose.

"So don't come any closer," he suggested. "Take a look around, clear your nose. I got this." If he wanted to rub elbows with the bloodsuckers, who was I to argue.

I walked back to the guys. "Hey, just a pack of leeches ahead, but not one that concerns us, apparently. I'm not getting any closer than I have to. I suggest you do the same."

I was met with nods. Quil looked a little off. "You all right?" I asked him as the others headed into the grass.

"I'll be okay. Never been this far from Claire, that's all."

Imprints – I didn't want to know. "Well, keep it together." I turned away and found a lone, scrubby looking tree. I climbed up to get a better view of the countryside. I watched the boys chasing each other below and shook my head. What a bunch of kids. As I did, I realized I'd let my hair grow out. Crap, I was going to be shaggy. Well, good thing it was just the once.

Jacob let out a shrill whistle and I cringed. I jumped down from the tree and slapped him. "What the hell was that? We don't have names?"

"Shit, sorry, Leah. I'm just used to doing that at home." He blushed. Right, they were all still wolves. It was just me trying not to be.

"Yeah, whatever." I crossed my arms and followed the leech parade into town.


	2. Chapter 2

I had to give these leeches credit – when they picked digs, they picked well. The Cullens had a gorgeous house, and this castle? No crypts for these bloodsuckers. They could really use some air freshener though. The reek was worse than ever. Layer after layer of leech.

"How much further?" I asked one of the nearer bloodsuckers.

"Not far, a couple more corridors."

Thank god. We ended in an elevator. I made sure to take one of the first passes. The smell was still terrible. We emerged in a reception area with an empty desk. Jake kept looking to the door at the end of the hall. I assumed that must be where his lady friend was.

Jake and Seth made a shield for me in a reception area. I stepped behind them reluctantly. I really really didn't want to do this. At least I was in complete control. I pulled off my rag of a dress and closed my eyes. The phase wasn't painful; it was jarring, though – Perspective changes, colors are a little different, smells... Oh good god, the smell.

The boys were stripping all around me and I tried to hold my breath as I approached the bloodsucker band. I ceased being alone in my head. That was the worst part, in my opinion.

_God, they reek._

_Why do they have to look so good?_

_Ness..._

_I can't wait to sink my teeth into marble. Bring it on!_

I tried to keep my mind empty and myself calm. I was still a woman. I was not a bitch.

The Cullens at the doors opened them, and I watched everyone fan out. The vampires ran for the back, being able to get there first. A big frantic looking idiot was just inside and took a lunge at us. The biggest Cullen and Embry went to work on him. I followed the others in my mind.

Jake and Joe headed for the platform where Nessie was. No surprise there. Seth and Quil were already sinking their teeth into parasites on either side of me. The walls seemed to be lined with vampires holding down vampires. There were two chairs on the platform Jake and Joe had headed for. These must be the boss men. One had pale white hair and hadn't moved yet. The other was already standing.

I looked to him, wondering if one of the leeches would beat me to him. Should I choose another target? Then the thought fled. All thoughts fled. His red eyes locked on mine and the voices in my head went silent. They were gone; they were all gone. I found myself standing on two legs. The woman I was found herself tied to the most important thing on the planet. I took a step forward.

It was only as my foot landed that I realized what had just happened to me. I had imprinted. It wasn't possible. I'd been sure it wasn't possible. I was a woman, obviously, but I wasn't _right._ I hadn't broken eye contact and my leg was already swinging into my next stride. _He_ thought I was right. I could tell.

There was howling and hissing and crashing all around me, but I didn't acknowledge any of it. All that mattered was the man in front of me. The man with the red eyes. Red eyes? It was another pace before the fact that he was a vampire registered. I took a breath, my first since I'd phased. The smell of vampires around me was still heavy, oppressive, but I could smell him separately. It was the same, but different. The way manure can sometimes smell right, even though it still smells bad. It was very strange. He was too sweet, too piercing, but not painful like the other vampires around us. Around _us_. It was another stride, but already I was thinking of us.

The chaotic sounds had ceased, but I hadn't noticed what had stopped them. I was at his feet now, just a step away.

"I didn't think it was possible," he murmured. He came down and reached out to me. "I didn't think I could..." His hand was ice, but it burned. I winced at first. Then the burn became lower, softer. I leaned into it and closed my eyes.

I wanted to tell him, too. "I thought I was... wrong. That I couldn't." I lifted my hand to touch his. The back of his hand was still ice, although his palm must have been warmed by my cheek. He pulled his hand away, and I felt cold. It didn't make sense. I should have been cold when he was touching me, not when he wasn't.

I understood why he had taken his hand back when he wrapped his robe around me. It was thick and plush. It wasn't warm, but it wasn't cold either. It was only once I was clothed again that I saw how many eyes were on us. I blushed a little, thinking of my nakedness.

His breath caught and his arms, still on my shoulders, tensed. He pulled me closer and I was being held. The thick robe kept his coldness from me, but my cheek, once again, was stung by him. His hand was stroking my hair. I knew the imprint made me tender to him. What had made him tender to me? I didn't care, I was glad for it. I squeezed him around the waist. Then I looked up at him, wanting to see him again, clearly. I'd really only seen his eyes before.

Now I saw the dark hair framing his face. I saw the strong line of his jaw, the angle of his nose, the small cleft in his chin. Then his face was coming closer to mine. I took a quick breath before his lips met mine. I would never think of frost bite quite the same way. His lips sent sharp pins of cold pain through mine. With them was a warm, tingle. I was not going to get used to this, I was sure.

I put a hand to his cheek now, stroking his jaw. "How did you know?" I asked him. He was probably wondering the same of me. "The world shifted," I said trying to explain. "Everything else was gone, and only you were left."

He nodded slowly. "I can see you. I can see the thick white bond that joins us. I have not seen it in a long, long time."

I kissed him again. It stung just like before. The warm tingle spread further now. I could feel it in my throat, in my chest. I broke the kiss with a gasp. He smiled at me and I blushed again. I felt him stroke my cheek as I did. The heat in my skin faded. When he looked past me, I turned. He moved his arm to my shoulders and then my waist. It felt perfect; like this place was made for me. He stepped forward and I moved with him.

"Is it difficult?" His tenor voice rang in the quiet of the room. "Your way, after so long. Will it be too difficult for me?" he was asking the doctor. Their way? Oh, animal blood, of course. "Nessie told me they don't attack you because you don't threaten their people. I must do the same now." He looked to me again, and I smiled. This would be hard for him, but I would help. I leaned my head into his shoulder and the cold burned again. His thumb made a circle on my hip. How was it that we were made for each other, I wondered.

There was a high screech from behind us and he turned with me to face it. "No! Marcus! You promised! She would hurt as much as we did!" It was a female vampire. Marcus. I smiled again. His name was Marcus.

"Come with us, Suplicia. If one of us can be touched by them, perhaps another can as well." I frowned. I didn't think it was likely any of my pack brothers would imprint on this woman. I heard a few of them respond with coughs.

The doctor was answering her as well. "And even if they can't, even if you don't find another among them, you will find our family bonds are much tighter. We can ease your pain, Suplicia." What sort of name was that anyway? "Come with us."

I looked up to Marcus now. His eyes were saddened. I reached for his chin, and he looked down at me again. He smiled and stroked my hair.

"You would devastate us twice, Carlisle?" That was the one still in his chair. Apparently he never got a chance to rise.

"You have held Marcus and the others for longer than you had any right to. I am sorry for any pain losing Aro may have caused, but it was right that he was removed." The doctor was continuing to try to make peace. Ever the optimist. "His poison saturated this place. Perhaps without him you can become what you once were. Patrons to our kind, not lords over them. I offered my way to you before. Any who would like to try now are welcome to join us." Marcus was turning us again, but his eyes never left mine. "My family and I will leave you. I do not recommend coming for us again. I think you will leave even more fractured," Carlisle finished. I saw him turn as well.

Marcus and I were just behind Carlisle through the doors. He took a deep breath as he stepped out of the room. It looked like he had left something heavy behind. I kissed him again then, holding both his cheeks this time. I parted his lips with my tongue and felt the ice melting on my taste buds. His taste was nothing like his scent. It was bittersweet, like the best chocolate. We only parted as I needed breath. The others had moved on ahead of us and we stepped quickly to keep up.

The boys were still dressing when we reached the reception area. None of them looked at me. I suddenly felt alone. Marcus moved his arm to my shoulders. I wasn't alone. Jacob met my eyes then.

"Wild ride?" he asked.

"You know it," I said with a smile. "So do I thank you for dragging me out for this, or kick your ass harder?"

He laughed.

Seth looked at me then. "You are really okay with this? I mean, he's a bloodsucker, Leah, a leech." His eyes were wide and face screwed up, like he was in pain.

"And you are friends with leeches," I reminded him.

"Yeah, and that drove you nuts. So I'm going to ask again. Are you okay with this?" He was worried about me. Worried that I didn't like what had happened. He couldn't understand.

I looked up at Marcus and then back at my brother. "I really am."

He shook his head and hugged me. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," I whispered.

"You smell," he complained with a grin, and I smacked him upside the head.

"Freak," Quil said as he passed and I punched him too.

"You want this?" Embry asked holding out my rag-dress.

"Yeah, sure. You boys mind shielding me again?" I asked, moving to take off the robe. It would be far too warm once we were outside. Marcus joined Embry and Joseph. I handed the robe back to Marcus, but he dropped it on the floor. He took my hand and led me to the elevator.

"Leah," he said quietly, as though testing the flavor of the word. It sounded marvellous to me.


	3. Chapter 3

"Well," I said when we were alone in the tiny box. "This is different."

"Really? It seems familiar to me." He put his hand on my hip and without the thick robe I felt his cold hand, every finger. There was still that feeling of fitting, but now there was more. And this was familiar, although I hadn't felt it in years. The warmth spreading through my core hadn't been there since Sam met Emily. And he was only touching my hip! I tried to get a grip on myself despite the spell he was putting on me. After all, he was still talking. "Though not for you, I suppose."

He was frowning. What was he troubled by? It was familiar, as he had said. "You had another," I said. "I did too, but he was not for me." I looked to my bare toes. I had painted them some time in the last month. There were still chips of pink on them. Maybe for a date? That was right. I was going to a party with Doug and I had open toed shoes.

"I'm glad he wasn't," he said and I felt his thumb make a circle again.

Then our quiet ride was over. We were amidst the grind of stinking bodies heading for the airport. "I don't know that we have room for everyone, anymore," I told him. My head finally stopped its swimming as I stepped out of the curve of his arm. "Doc? How are we to get everyone to the airport?" I asked now.

"We should be able to squeeze a couple more in our van, Leah. I know a few who might be willing to double up," he looked to his wife with a grin. I frowned. "You will be all right on the flight?" he asked Marcus.

"I'm not sure. We fed a day or two ago, so I don't expect problems. Your daughter would know best," he said with a small smile.

"Sadly, our companions make that difficult to impossible," the short one, Alice, explained. "In your case, impossible. Suplicia, Renata and Chelsea will be fine. Which leads me to believe you will as well.

"Why can you see them and not me?" he asked. I grabbed one of his hands. I nearly dropped it reflexively from the biting cold, but then our fingers twined. "Oh, I understand." He pulled me a little closer, smiling. I felt myself blushing for no reason at all.

"I can also be more certain of Chelsea and Renata than Suplicia because they will be on other flights, not ours."

"They will?" the doctor asked. I rubbed my other hand against Marcus' as though to warm it. He chuckled very lowly. He seemed startled and stopped.

"Yes, Renata will be accompanying you and Chelsea is going to Alaska," Alice said with certainty. More and more of us had gathered in the corridor and were listening now. The vampires in question began chatting to one another. I paid little mind; I was flexing my fingers. Were they numb or burning? I wasn't sure. Marcus noticed and raised my hand to his lips. Burning, right.

"Can we get out of here?" Jacob whined, pushing his way past us and toward the exit ahead. I couldn't blame him. Marcus's scent didn't bother me, but there were far too many vampires in this tiny corridor. He pulled his girl along with him, well pushed her ahead actually. Of course, he wanted to get her as far from here as fast as possible.

She stopped him, though, and turned to us. "Marcus. I really am sorry about Aro. I know he was like a brother to you."

He laughed now and the pealing sound was stunning. "You did me the greatest of favors, Renesmee. I owe you more than you will ever know." He put a hand out, and I thought he meant to pull her into an embrace but instead he wheeled and was kissing me again. My breath caught as my lips froze. Then they melted in my own heat. My heart drummed madly. His free hand moved to my lower back. Just as well, my balance was suddenly gone. My insides were on fire. It wasn't just in my throat and chest anymore, it burned lower, through my belly, in my thighs. What was this man, this vampire, doing to me?

It was only when he released me and I began gasping for air that I heard more laughter around us. I also saw Embry making gagging motions with his finger; I flipped him off. I righted myself slowly and pushed Marcus gently away. "You are dangerous," I told him.

Bella came and nudged my shoulder. "Head rush?" she asked. Oh right, she'd had a vampire lover too. She would remember.

"It's always like this?" I asked in a whisper.

She nodded with wide eyes and then kissed her husband. I shook my head and took a step toward the exit myself. Either I'd warmed his hand or frozen my own, because I didn't notice we were still connected until Marcus dropped my hand to open the door. I felt pins and needles through my fingertips. Numb then. Odd, I'd been sure it was burning.

I didn't even think about logistics until he was still with me at the 'wolf mobile,' as the oh-so-funny Cullens had dubbed it. Jacob was there with Nessie too. I looked around at the pack sheepishly.

"Hop in, Marcus, was it?" Jacob asked opening the sliding door.

_Thank you_, I mouthed to him, climbing in behind Marcus. I was more surprised when Jacob came in behind us. I was sitting beside Marcus when Jacob nudged me with his hip. "There aren't going to be enough seats that way." He proceeded to pull Ness into his lap.

I clenched my jaw. I was hot enough wihtout underwear to need the chill of Marcus' lap, but I had the feeling the opposite was about to happen. I took a breath and shifted myself over. Ness was suddenly pressed against my shoulder as Seth took the third seat.

"Good thing it's a short drive. Did you put on weight, girl?" Jake was teasing Nessie. She elbowed him in the ribs as he deserved.

I'd been correct in my assessment. Although the cold was seeping into my legs, a little higher I was melting thoroughly. I was definitely grabbing that backpack at the airport and putting my other clothes back on. We rocked a little as we backed onto the road. Marcus moved his hands to my belly, steadying me.

In my thin dress, it was impossible not to notice his cold chest against my back as well as his hands on my hips, as they were now. I shifted a little and tried to breathe evenly. That was when I noticed for the first time that he wasn't breathing at all. I started listening, waiting for it. I wondered if I should nudge or poke him. Was he all right? I turned my head, trying to see.

His eyes were closed and his lips moved silently. I turned my head back to the front and wondered how fast the vamps up front could go. We hit a bump and I came down on his lap with a thump. That was when I realized his lap wasn't the even plane it had been. He was having as much trouble as I was. This was going to be very interesting when we got each other alone next. Numbing or burning? To be or not to be?

"Alice?" Nessie called up front. "How long until our flight leaves?"

"We'll have a five hour wait in Pisa, why?"

"Just counting hours. The wedding is tomorrow."

Alice cursed up front. "We'll make it," she promised. "We will make it."

Nessie settled a little.

"Wedding?" Marcus asked.

"Jacob's dad," I told him. "He's marrying his second wife. He lost his first years ago."

"Everyone should have a second chance," he murmured and I felt his cold lips on my shoulder. I shivered. "Were you planning to attend?" he asked.

"No. I... I was expecting to be in classes." I realized for the first time that I wasn't going back to the university. I wasn't going to eat Doug's Pad Thai. Marcus had just abandoned his way of life, even if it was an appalling, disgusting, murderous way of life; he had left it for me. I was going to help him. "I don't know what I'll be doing now. But it will be a human gathering. I imagine you would rather be elsewhere."

I looked at him now, his red eyes. I blinked slowly and took a new breath. He shuddered slightly. I probably smelt terrible to him. The Cullens had certainly made their opinion of our odor clear on numerous occasions. I looked away. I noticed his hands had tightened on my hips. Was it that bad? Then they relaxed and started stroking. That was not doing any good to the heat already building between them, between my thighs. I shifted again and felt him pressing into me. I licked my lips and looked over my shoulder once more. His eyes were closed again and he was murmuring those silent words.

"Marcus?" Ness asked. "Are you all right?"

"Fine, Renesmee," his voice was slightly strained. Probably because he was continuing to hold his breath. I hung my head a little.

"What are you whispering?" she asked now. I could have slapped her. Rude, much?

"Just a prayer. I find my faith renewed of late." His lips were at my shoulder again, but this time they moved up my neck, too. I gasped. There was something very very wrong about having a vampire kissing me there. I felt so vulnerable, so fragile.

"Careful, Marcus. Venom is poison to her," Nessie warned.

He pulled his lips away. I pictured myself laying another beating on Jacob's imprint. "I didn't know that."

"I thought you might not," she whispered.

"Anything else I should know?" He was asking me now.

Jacob answered, "She's extra crabby on full moons."

This time I did punch. I made sure I caught his girl in the swing. "Ow, I'm kidding, kidding." His laugh didn't appease me. That had been true, when I still had a cycle. I had had another in the six months since I'd been wolf last. I wondered how long it would be now. I sighed in remorse. "I really was kidding, Leah," Jacob insisted. I tried to smile. He flinched. That made me laugh.

"That bad?" I asked.

"Yeah. That was the most frightening baring of teeth I've seen in a long time. And I think the last one was you, too."

I laughed again, tipping my head back. I felt the chill as my cheek brushed Marcus'. He chuckled, too. Again the sound was almost wrong.

Then, thankfully, we were able to get out of the claustrophobic tin of a van. I felt pins and needles down the backs of my legs and rubbed them, trying to help the blood work it's way through. As I did, I felt just how cold my skin was now.

I felt eyes on my back and looked over my shoulder. Sure enough, Marcus was watching me. I smiled at him as he looked away in embarrassment.

"Food," I heard behind me.

"Food," was echoed.

"FOOD!" I closed my eyes.

"You are all such children!" I roared. I stopped then and took a deep breath. In and out. I am a woman, not a bitch. "You have time to eat, go find something." I spread my arm out to take in the streets around the airport. They were cluttered with restaurants and hotels as was to be expected.

"Right," Joseph agreed. "How about that one?" He pointed and the four of them headed out.

"Are you hungry?" Marcus asked me.

"A little, not starving like them." I looked in disgust at the boys running down the street. Jacob and Nessie were following.

"We could join them," he suggested.

"Or we could go somewhere else," I said and turned to head in the opposite direction. "I think I've had just about enough of those boys for today. Oh, but I want to speak with Alice first."

We entered the airport and I found the Cullens at one of the ticket counters. "Could I snag that bag from you before you check it?" I asked Alice.

"Of course!" she said, slinging it to me.

"I'm going to change," I told Marcus, heading for a washroom.

I felt much better in a bra and panties. I didn't normally mind going commando, but I hadn't expected I'd be sitting in anyone's lap. That was terribly embarrassing. I started to put the dress into one of the trash bins, but then stuffed it back in the bag instead. I had no idea what I thought I might want it for. I didn't really need more rags.

Marcus was waiting right outside the door. I doubted he'd moved since I'd left him. "Ready," I said.

"You look lovely. The dress was nice, too," he told me. Well, good thing I kept it then.

We were about to have our first real conversation. I was a little worried about what it might entail. What are your hobbies, Marcus? Oh, rounding up people and drinking their blood, intimidating others of my kind, you? Sprouting hair and intimidating others of my kind. Hey, we had something in common. I shook my head at my own insanity.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No, just a random thought."

He nodded and put his arm around me. I started to lean into him before I realized what I was doing. He picked me up by the hip and held me to him as he glided along. I giggled and he put me down outside the door of the restaurant. He opened the door for me. I could get used to that. Guys didn't do that enough anymore.

I just looked at him for a while, not sure where to begin. He seemed to have the same problem. Before I'd come up with anything the waitress was back, asking what we wanted to drink. She spoke in Italian and I didn't understand her at first. Marcus answered immediately and then looked to me. "Drink?" he asked.

"White wine?" I replied.

He smiled and I was sure he wondered that I wasn't more specific. He was as he ordered a gewurztraminer. I tried to remember if I'd ever tried one of those. It was fruity, I knew that. Wine wasn't the drink of choice on the reservation. I opened the menu and was relieved to find it in several languages. The waitress probably spoke English, but Marcus had been ready in Italian.

"Would you order me the Aioli when she returns?"

"You seem to be able to order that on your own," he said with a broad smile.

I blushed again. "I wasn't sure I said it right."

Then he rolled several words off his tongue and all I knew was that they were all Italian. They might have been, "You're accent is a little off," or "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" but they sounded wonderful regardless. And he really wasn't helping me initiate any sort of conversation when he went off in another language like that.

Then I decided to be snide. "_The wing of the raven is not as dark as your hair,_" I told him in Quileute and he smiled back. Stick that in your craw, silver tongue, I thought.

"That is a most unusual language. What is it?"

"Quileute. The language of my tribe."

"And what did you say?" he asked.

"You first," I taunted.

He pressed his lips together and looked at me from under lashes. "The words that fall from your lips are sweeter than honey."

I giggled. That was a pretty cheesy pick up line. Then again, mine wasn't much better. "Your hair is darker than a raven's wing," I translated. That was when the waitress came back with the wine. "The Aioli, please."

"Of course, miss," she answered in English and winked at me. She thought I'd made a fine catch, obviously.

Then the silence fell in again. It was as though neither of us was sure what the first step should be. I had definitely done this more recently than him. What had I talked about with Doug our first night for coffee? Class. Well that wasn't helpful. Sports? I could try; he didn't see the sporting type.

"Do you..." I stopped, shaking my head.

"No, go ahead," he encouraged me.

"It was an attempt at small talk. I don't imagine you actually follow any sports, do you?" I took a sip of wine.

"No," he said with a smile. "But that is better than anything I had come up with. I was going to ask if your tribe had it's own religion. We all know matters of faith are a great way to break the ice. Can you tell I haven't left the castle in centuries?" he asked with another laugh.

"That's not true," I argued. "You came to Washington a few years ago," I reminded him.

"Yes," he paused. "How is it I didn't meet you then?"

"Probably because I was too far away, too much in the shadows. I didn't get a good look at any of you, either. I just know you must have been one of those three."

He nodded and my food arrived. "And now you will have to pick up the conversation or I won't get to eat this," I teased. "So tell me about the castle if you've spent so much time there."

"It was a prison," he said coldly. "It was a stone cell I was kept in by Aro. He made certain that I would never have the will to leave. As a result I had little will at all."

"I'm so sorry. No wonder you were so glad Nessie got rid of him. She made it sound like he was a brother though."

"He was. He was the brother of my mate, Didyme." He winced as he said the name.

"I see." I took another bite.

"I don't imagine you do," he said shortly. I looked up, fork in mouth.

"Then tell me," I told him.

"It is a long story, and not a happy one," he warned me.

"I'll order dessert," I said with a smile. "And if that still isn't time enough, we have a very long flight ahead of us."

He smiled back. "It would be nice to share it with someone. No one, I think, has heard this story in a very long time."

He told me of Didyme, how happy she made him and everyone around her. I thought I should be jealous of this woman, but I couldn't be. She seemed a truly tragic character in this tale, as she was obviously happy before whatever demise met her. He told me of their plans to leave. He told me of her disappearance, her destruction. He told me of his desire to leave Volterra regardless, and Chelsea's ability to compel him to stay. He told me how empty he had felt for so many centuries. I felt empty, too. Then, after Aro's demise, Chelsea no longer saw a need to compel Marcus. She released her hold on him. But without Didyme, he still had no real purpose, no real desire. Until he saw Renesmee. When he saw the strength of the bond between her and Jacob, the pain she inflicted on herself by being apart from him, he knew he had found someone who could truly share his pain. His and now Suplicia's. He had planned to keep her, hoping that she might show them how to live beyond the pain, the emptiness.

"She did. She brought me you."

I felt tears on my cheeks. Not for the first time in his telling. The restaurant was dark and empty, but no one had shoved us out the door yet. I had drunk the entire bottle of wine and was glad my wolf metabolism was still at work, otherwise I would be more than tipsy.

"I'm glad she did. I'm glad Jacob called me. I'm glad I found peace enough to accept his request."

Marcus helped me to my feet and led me back to the airport. We had long since settled our bill. The boys were sleeping in seats outside our gate when we rejoined our friends. Renesmee handed me my messenger bag. "I thought you might still want this, for carry-on."

I smiled, "Thank you."

She took my hand and showed me a very old image. It was me in her grandparents' white house. I had my short, crazed hair and was wearing shred-wear. Yet I seemed to glow. She was telling me I was pretty. "I'd meant to tell you that a long long time ago," she said.

"Better late than never."


	4. Chapter 4

I took the window seat again. Marcus didn't seem to mind. "Now, I think it's your turn," he told me.

He was right, but where to begin? How about the beginning? "Well, I was born on La Push reservation and before long my parents inflicted a little brother upon me. His name is Seth." I pointed to the snoring man two seats down. "I lived on the reservation until two years ago when I moved to Seattle." I shrugged.

He gave me a look that told me I wasn't getting away with as little as that. "You mentioned one who wasn't meant for you." He stroked my arm and I shivered. "I think there is a lot you are neglecting to tell me."

So I told him about Sam. Then I told him about Emily. "I still loved them both so much. Seeing them together was a stabbing pain at every turn. And in the pack, there was no escaping it. I was so glad when I was able to leave with Jacob."

"Jacob?" he asked, looking to where he sat.

"Yeah. When Bella came back from her honeymoon very pregnant, Sam wanted to stop the baby from being born. Jake wouldn't agree to that. They had the equivalent of an Alpha pissing match and split the pack. Seth went with Jake, and eventually, I did too."

"There are two packs?" he asked.

"There were. A couple years ago, when Aro came for Ness, they put the pack back together under Jacob as Alpha. That was right before I left La Push. I couldn't be in the same pack as Sam again. I couldn't bear to see his son." I took a deep breath, fighting tears. Levi was the most gorgeous baby I had ever seen. I only saw him once. I started classes that winter. I couldn't stay. I couldn't handle it. It was the baby that should have been mine. Should have been mine and Sam's. Instead I had no baby, no hope of a baby, and she had everything I had ever wanted.

"Leah?" Marcus voice saying my name soothed my hurt. His cold hand on my cheek chilled the heat from my tears.

"I can't have children," I told him frankly. "My cycles are, disrupted, by the shape-shifting. I have another reason to be envious." The tears brimmed again. I felt his cold lips on my face now, on my eyes. I thought my tears froze in place.

"I won't say I understand, but I know this troubled Didyme as well. She often wished for a child."

I nodded and remembered what Jake knew about the blonde, Rosalie. "Some think the imprint was designed to assist us in finding more suitable mates, stronger offspring. I thought I didn't imprint because I was wrong – because I can't procreate." I shifted in my seat; this was an uncomfortable subject.

"Perhaps that is true. Perhaps you can yet have what you desire."

I looked my question into his eyes. Was he suggesting... But I still wasn't, right. Not really.

"Tell me more. Tell me about your family, your parents."

I leaned back and started to tell him more about my childhood, my dad before he died. Mom and Charlie. I was yawning frequently by the time I got that far. "I'm so-o-o-orry," I said over another yawn. "I don't think I can keep my eyes open any longer."

"Sleep then. You can tell me more when you wake." He put his arm around me, cold as always and shifted my head to his shoulder. I shuffled a few times, unable to get comfortable. He was very hard and very cold. Finally I dug a pillow out of the seat back. He laughed as I finally settled myself. "Sweet dreams, Leah," he wished me, kissing the top of my head.

I heard snips of conversation while I slept, never fully waking.

"Yes? And hunting more often increased that tolerance?" That was Marcus.

"Increases, but never really builds it. That took time. A long time. I'm still not as good at it as the others." That was another male vampire.

"And likely longer in my case as I have even more years to unlearn than you. This bodes well for Chelsea and Renata. They are not nearly as old as Suplicia and I." He sighed. "Suplicia. I do hope she finds some sort of comfort."

Then later: "It's in the other directory. Yes, there. Scroll down. That one. I think you might find it helpful. You've found the perfect mate for this. She understands addictions very well. She will have many strategies to assist you." Another male vampire, different from the first.

"Yes, thank you." That was Marcus again. "I'm not sure if I chose her or she chose me. I am not surprised she has everything I need." I felt ice on my scalp and drifted under again.

When I finally did wake Marcus was reading one of my books. "Mmm?" I asked, opening my eyes at last.

"Ah, you're awake. We're landing soon. Have you given any more thought to what we will do when we arrive?" Marcus asked.

I blinked several times. How much thinking did he expect me to do while I slept? "No, just dreams," I said stupidly.

"Of course," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not used to sleep." He closed the book and put it back in my bag. "Edward suggested I might want to read your paper. It was enlightening. Are you planning to return to class and submit it?"

"Edward?" I still wasn't firing on all cylinders.

"Yes. He thought your assessment of addictions might inform me as to what I will be facing." He looked into my eyes again. He looked fuzzy. I blinked slowly and opened my eyes wider. "You're still tired. Let me get you something." He pressed the button for an attendant.

"Yes?" she asked seconds later when she arrived, smiling broadly at Marcus. He smiled back and I tightened my jaw.

"Black coffee, please," I said in a clipped tone. She scowled at me and I scowled right back. I know for a fact that I am scarier than you missy, I thought. She bowed to my alpha bitchiness and gave me my brew. I inhaled it deeply and sighed. That was the stuff. I sipped slowly.

"Okay, I can think again. When we get back," I murmured over my cup. "I figured I would empty my apartment and we would head somewhere remote. Either within Washington State or maybe into Canada. Tons of empty areas there." I sipped again and looked to him, what did he think of that plan?

"You aren't going to finish your classes?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No offence, but I shudder to think about you learning your new diet in the middle of a city. I don't think I'd even want you near Forks right away."

"No offence taken. I merely thought, where you had put so much time into this..." He didn't finish.

"It's fine. I didn't really expect I'd be cut out for social work anyway. I'm not nearly compassionate enough," I snorted. "I have learned what I needed for myself. If I need to learn more for you, there's correspondence."

"Not compassionate?" he said wonderingly.

I smirked. "You haven't seen me around other people. I'm not exactly the friendliest girl around." I leaned back and took another sip of the dark brown, hot, elixir of wakefulness. Mmmm coffee. Why did I work in a pizza joint? I was made to be a barrista. Right, because then I'd have to actually be friendly to customers. They don't really care who make their pie.

"I think I'm becoming envious of that cup," Marcus said watching me intently.

I laughed. "Really?" I quirked an eyebrow. Then I put my lips to the rim again, filled my mouth and rolled it with my tongue, closing my eyes. I could feel him watching me.

The cup was suddenly replaced by a cold hand and all the heat in my mouth was being sucked away by cold lips. His tongue was running along mine and the little coffee that remained underneath instantly chilled. Then he backed away. I took a deep breath when he did and opened my eyes again.

"I'm not a fan of iced coffee," I told him. "Well, I didn't used to be." I swallowed and reached out for my cup which he still held.

"Are you planning to tempt me again?" he asked, moving to hover inches from my face.

I smiled and took another tantalizing sip. Again his mouth cooled the liquid in mine and I chuckled as I swallowed this time.

"I'll let you enjoy your drink in peace," he said, leaning back in his seat but turning his head to watch me.

I sipped more normally now and reached for my laptop. He pulled it out and handed it to me. What was I going to tell Doug? This was going to be the crappiest 'see ya' of my life. Granted, I hadn't dumped that many guys, but by email? I loathed myself.

_Doug,_

_This family thing turned into a full situation. I'm not even going to make it back for class. I'm so sorry I won't see you to tell you this in person. Thanks so much for the invites, the company, and the friendship. If I ever do see you again, don't hate me for this. It sucks, I know._

_Hoping I DO see you again,_

_Leah._

Yeah, that was pretty shitty. I hit send.

"A friend?" Marcus asked and I realized he was reading over my shoulder.

"Yes. Not a really close one, but one who doesn't know everything about me. I don't really have a way of telling him where I'm going or why. It's a crappy thing to do to a friend." I closed the lid and leaned over to put the computer away.

When I straightened up arms were wrapping around my neck from behind. I almost threw whoever it was over the seat before she spoke. "Goodbye, Leah. We're running as soon as we land so I wanted to say it now." It was Jacob's little freak. What had gotten into that girl? She did the same to Marcus, but at least he'd had some warning. "I know everything is going to work out great for the two of you."

"Freak," I muttered very quietly as she ran back to her own seat.

Marcus smiled. Of course, he had heard me. I rolled my eyes. "Now you know what I meant about compassion. I must be the polar opposite of your Didyme," I said with a laugh now. "She made everyone happy, and I am great at pissing them off!" I laughed harder now. "It's my talent." I was choking on my laughter. Someone was laughing in the row ahead of us and I stood to see who. Who was daring not only to agree with me but find it funny? Edward. _You shut your trap, Cullen._ I thought snidely, but that just set me off in more giggles as it supported my earlier assessment.

He did stop laughing, but I was willing to bet he was still smirking and fighting back snorts. Marcus was smiling, too. "I don't believe you," he told me.

"You will," I chuckled. "You will." I rose to use the washroom one last time before we landed in Seattle.

Seth snagged me on my way back to my seat. "What's this I hear about you taking off entirely?" he asked.

"Yeah, well, easiest to learn control where there is the least temptation, right? You want to dry out an alcoholic, you lock him up somewhere where there isn't any booze. I don't want to go far. And it's not like I won't keep in touch. I'll call you and Mom all the time. I'm sure we'll set up in some tiny town and I'll have a post box or something." I hugged him now. "I'm not running out on you."

"Yeah," he said unconvincingly. "Not like I need babysitting anymore anyway."

"Wrong. You need more. I'm just hoping you finally find a girlfriend to do that instead of me. Twenty years is more than long enough for me, thank you." I smirked at him. He blew a raspberry on my cheek and I slugged him in the gut.

"Ooof. Take care of yourself, Leah. We're racing once we hit the ground to make the wedding."

"I heard. Tell Mom I'll call once we find a place to stop, but not to worry if she doesn't hear from me for a week or so."

"Right. And Leah?" he said as I started to talk away. "You know you still stink right?" He got another shot for that.

Jacob stopped me before I sat down too. "I just wanted to thank you again for coming, Leah. I know we have really messed up your life on you. Not once or twice either." He hugged me and I froze. Why was he hugging me? "Good-bye, Leah."

"Yeah, see ya, Jake," I said awkwardly and patted his back. I smiled when he backed up, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't quite right. It mustn't have been because he laughed at me. I just moved back to my seat and belted up before the steward got snippy with me. We were landing any minute now.

"Good luck, Leah!" I heard shouted from one of the guys down the row. Other passengers were starting to grumble.

"Take care, beeyatch!" Embry called. I flipped him off.

"See ya, Leah!" That was Quil. He had really perked up once we were over the US. I just waved to them all.

"Piss off everyone around you?" Marcus asked.

"Shut up," I complained but smiled as I sat back in my seat.


	5. Chapter 5

Marcus took my hand again as we left the airport. I felt the cold tingle as feeling left my fingers. He had my duffel in his other hand and walked slowly beside me. The wedding guests were already long gone, but we were in no hurry. I shifted my messenger bag on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure I can go with you," he said quietly as I steered us toward a cab.

"That's all right," I assured him, taking my duffel. "We'll drop you at a park on the edge of town. I'll find you later. "If it's too much... just focus on me."

He nodded, uncertain. "Cougar Mountain," I told the driver. He looked a question to me in the rear-view mirror. "The zoo," I clarified in a clipped tone. _Get it moving or I'll let__ him eat you,_ I thought angrily. He nodded and took off. I looked to Marcus and his lips were moving silently again. I squeezed his hands entwined in mine, and his lips twitched in a smile. I shifted my shoulders trying to take the edge off the irritation the driver had started in me. Two minutes as a wolf and already I was having to fight the bitch again. I closed my eyes and breathed carefully on counts of five. It helped. When I opened my eyes, I saw red ones looking at me. "I have a very short fuse," I told him sheepishly.

He wasn't breathing, but he put a hand to my cheek, stroking an ice trail to my jaw. I put a finger to his now unmoving lips and traced their line in return. His smile broadened.

Thankfully, when the cab found the highways, the drive was short. "I'm coming back, just dropping my friend off for a while," I told him getting out with Marcus in the zoo parking lot. He took a deep breath as soon as he was out of the cab. I came to his side.

"Once we're gone, head into those trees behind me. Then go south, you'll be in the park. I'll find you there."

"You're sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure. I can follow your scent. I'll find you." He took another deep breath, and I had the feeling he was filling his nose with me. Maybe I didn't smell so bad.

"Hurry," he whispered. "I can't bear to be without you any longer." He squeezed me into a hug, and I felt his cold breath on my ear. My pulse picked up as his coldness surrounded me.

"I will," I promised and then turned back to the cab. "University, please."

It didn't take me long to pack up my belongings. I'd never bothered amassing much. I filled my duffel with as much warm and durable clothing as I could. Then I crammed all my toiletries and other necessities into the messenger bag along with all the books I could manage. I had a few books that needed to go back to the library, but I'd have to hope the floor rep took care of that for me. The little that didn't make it into one of my two bags I loaded into my luggage.

Then I trundled to a bus stop. That cab had made a good dent in my finances. I didn't think Marcus had taken any money with him, so I was going to have to be stingy. I'd send my luggage COD to Forks; Mom could cover it. I did stop at an ATM to empty my account. If I was going to Canada I wasn't going to be using it any longer. I stashed that wad carefully in an interior pocket of the messenger bag. After dropping my luggage off at the Greyhound, I did grab another cab.

I stood once again in the Cougar Zoo parking lot. I made to head for the door so the cab would leave. Once he was out of sight, I burst for the trees Marcus would have entered. Sure enough, I could smell him, that too sweet, not quite right smell.

I hiked a couple hundred yards into the trees, until I was good and obscured from the road. Then I stripped down and crammed the last of my clothing into the top of my duffel. I tied my shoes to the straps. I shivered a little at the breeze on my skin. It had been a long time since I'd done this outside. With the exception of the other day, it had been a long time since I'd done this at all.

_Okay, Leah, control. You can do this without being this. You are going to be a bitch for the next little while. That's all right. Because you are going to remember that you're a woman. You're going to remember that you came back from this before and you can do it again._

The pep talk worked. I phased and put the straps of my bags in my mouth. Then I followed Marcus' scent south. We crossed a couple roads, but I, at least, wasn't spotted. I also wasn't alone.

_Leah! How've you been?_

They saw everything quickly after that question. _Leave me alone, Okay? _I ran a little faster.

_Dude! That is messed up. A vampire?_

_Insane! First Ness has us all fooled and now Leah. I mean you had the mo__st hate for those leeches of all of us!_ And now I knew why Nessie had gone to Italy. Crap, she'd tried to _make_ herself turned on? Idiot, I thought.

_Look, there aren't any vamps you need to worry about._ But then I saw them guarding Suplicia in the Cullen house. None of them had imprinted on her, as I'd expected. _Well, maybe one. You can guard her human though, right? Give me a few hours?_

The pack conferred on that. Without Jacob I really was ranking wolf and they should just do it. It didn't take them long to agree to my request at any rate. They decided the smell wasn't as bad through human noses.

I was alone in my head. Thank god. I continued to run. I didn't think I'd taken that long, but he was deep. I finally found him standing over his kill, a deer.

"Leah," he greeted me with a smile and I dropped the bags. "Can I carry those for you?" he asked.

I tried to smile, but he didn't recognize it. Not surprising. I nodded instead. Then I walked past him to his kill, wondering how his hunt went. The deer was already cold, all blood gone from the corpse.

"I will have to find another, maybe one of the cougars this park is named for. A carnivore would be better. Deer taste... off." I couldn't imagine.

I was in love with a monster that thirsted for human blood. How many types of wrong was I?

"Are we in a hurry?" he asked now. He opened my duffel and pulled out my rag-dress. "We could walk together a while," he suggested.

He tossed the dress in my direction and I phased to catch it in my hand. It was the fastest I'd ever dropped the wolf. I had gotten better. "Thanks. That would be nice."

His eyes tracked up one of my legs, over my ribs and settled on my face. I heard a low growl come from his throat and felt my heart skip a beat. He stepped toward me, a single stride. He could stretch a hand and touch me, but he didn't. Now his eyes found my neck, my breasts, and my belly.

I flushed under his scrutiny and his mouth opened in a gasp. I looked up to his eyes from under my lashes. They were a strange burnt orange. It wasn't their color that startled me though. It was the fire barely concealed in them. He wanted me. My body wanted his. The imprint had shifted everything in me toward him, and that included my libido.

I hesitated only a moment longer before launching myself at him with a snarl. My arms gripped around his neck and I pulled myself up by them. My lips met his, and I ran my tongue along the inside of his cold lip, careful of the edge of his teeth. I wrapped one leg around his waist and felt the cold drain the flashing burn from my flesh.

His hands curled around me now. One was in the middle of my back and I broke my kiss at the sudden iciness. The other was in my hair. My scalp felt like cold water was running over my head. I was sure that if he weren't a vampire I would start to combust from my own heat. "I haven't... so long," he moaned, closing his eyes.

"I'm sure you remember how," I teased. I moved my hands to his shirt now that he held my weight. I released the buttons and opened it to look on his blindingly white chest. He was muscular but lean. He panted slightly, but that had to be a reaction; I was sure he didn't need the air. Then he pulled me to him.

My leg and hands tightened in their hold on his waist and shoulders. I gasped as my nipples touched his ice. He released his hold a little, wary.

I snarled again and pressed myself into him, crushing my breasts on him. Heat throbbed throughout me; my heart raced wildly.

Marcus turned and I felt bark on my back. His hand was inside my thigh and I practically dripped in anticipation. He wasn't touching me though, he was unfastening his pants.

"Yes, yes, Marcus," I whispered running my hands through his hair and lifting my other leg. I was on fire; I needed his ice. I needed it in me. I leaned my head back, arching, aching.

"You are impossibly beautiful," he murmured into my neck. "I want that look on you forever. I want to see and smell your blush. I want to be the cause," he told me as he thrust.

"Marcus," I moaned. It had been so long since anything had been inside me and now I was full to bursting. I was melting; I was freezing. For the first time in my life, I was whole.

I was right. I was perfect. I was exactly where I was meant to be.


	6. Chapter 6

After that first perfect moment of union the problems started. It was a good thing I healed quickly. Marcus carried me to a stream and wiped the dried blood off my back. "I'm so sorry, Leah."

I tried not to be too angry with myself. Why had I thought anything would come easily to me? "It's not a big deal. Scratches heal in no time. At least we didn't break any of my bones." I tried to smile but knew it was more of a grimace.

He frowned, too. "Yes. That would be..." he didn't finish his thought, wiping my back again.

The wind shifted. "Do you smell that?" I asked with a better smile. It was a cougar. He probably didn't recognize it specifically, but he'd know it was a predator. I phased to wolf and he was following at first. Then he passed me and engaged with his prey. I held back, planning to hamstring the cat if it escaped him. Like that would happen.

I watched his graceful leap and trembled when his jaws opened wider than I thought possible to latch onto the cat's throat. He tumbled in his leap, taking the prey with him. It was a flash of white a tan. Then he let the corpse go and rose from his crouch. It had been so fast, so clean. I had had to hunt and eat as a wolf, and I knew I had nothing on Marcus for predatory nature.

He stood now and cocked his head as though in thought. "The humans fight, but not like that." I thought I would be sick. I folded my ears back at the thought. "That was... invigorating. It was wild. I liked it." He smiled at the last. I took a breath and reminded myself he wasn't the same monster he used to be. He was still a monster, but I could work with this one.

I padded out and came to his side. My head was just under his shoulder, not unlike when I was human. I nudged him with my shoulder heading back to where we'd left my things.

Marcus packed the dress back in my bag and picked up the lot. I turned my head in the direction we needed to go, east for now, and then I broke into a run. He was just behind me to my side. I turned on a little more speed, he kept pace. I let my tongue loll. I loved running. I loved the wind in my ears, in my fur. I didn't run human at all anymore. It was nothing compared to this. I gripped my claws even harder and put on the final burn. I couldn't keep this sprint long, but it felt amazing to push so hard, go so fast. My heart beat wildly, my ears were deafened by the roar of my own wind, but my nose and eyes kept track of it all. I could smell Marcus, like sweet incense beside and behind me. I could smell moss, dung, humus, water, mold, spruce, pine, poplar, rodents. I could see green, brown and grey all streaking behind me. I let out a bark, leaped high and landed with a splash in the river on the other side of the road ahead.

I saw the white blur run to the edge of the river and leap across. He was laughing on the shore when I pulled myself out a little downriver. "That was wonderful!" he chortled. "I haven't run like that... I don't think I've ever run like that!" He dropped my bags and I thought evil thoughts toward him for breaking my laptop if indeed he had. Then he launched himself straight up in the air. It must have been fifty feet. I sprinted, put paws to the tree in front of me and launched myself up and out, toward him. We crashed a good twenty feet from the ground. I landed on all fours but he was tossed into the river.

I barked, laughing, on the shore. He climbed out, scowling. "That wasn't very nice," he said. I continued to laugh, now on my back with my feet in the air. I rolled and ran when he lunged at me. He was fast, but so was I. I circled back to my bags and dug in, pulling back my lip, not snarling, but ready.

He stopped, seeing me on guard. "Hmm, I think I don't want to wrestle with you." Smart man, he'd lose. Instead he picked up my bags and I led us on, still running, but at a pace I could keep up for hours.

We curved northward and crossed the 90 before I needed to call it a night. The pack had come and gone while we ran. Joe gave me a peep show on the wedding, everyone seemed to have had a good time.

_Yeah, that's great. Now go sleep,_ I thought irritably. Of course, the problem wasn't that they needed to sleep, it was that I needed it. I wondered if they'd keep me up all night if I slept as the bitch. And what would Marcus do while I slept? Whatever vampires did at night, I guessed. I slowed to a walk and Marcus slowed beside me. Then I stopped and turned a circle before lying down.

"Oh, sleep. Right." He sat beside me for a while. "This is a strange new world you've brought me to. I've never lived outside cities. I've never been anywhere so, untouched."

I snorted. There were signs of men everywhere here. We'd been crossing roads, cut lines, subdivisions. Wait until we got a bit further north. When we found the areas even the logging companies dared not go; the ageless wilderness. Then he would see untouched. I had never seen it myself, but I wanted to. I wanted to see his world again too. The cracked stone, the white buildings, the groomed gardens and vineyards; the ancient civilization.

"It is all new. It has been so long since I've seen or felt anything, it would be new even if it was familiar. And this is not familiar."

I felt a cold hand on my head and back. Unfamiliar was good. If we could get him in a new situation, a new mind set, a new way of life would come with it. I closed my eyes and let his monologue lull me to sleep.

"The smells are different, the colors, the very air seems different. Cleaner for certain, moist, but not salty. There is a chill in the air that almost never came to Volterra. And so much life. Not human life – wildlife. This place is bursting with it."

On and on like that. I woke at one point and he wasn't speaking, but still stroking me. The chill between my shoulder blades wasn't unwelcome. It wasn't cold enough to be a bother and my fur was more than thick enough to cover. Waking brought the pack back though.

_Yeah, did you see her? She was smokin'_

_Would you keep it to yourself?_

_Did you catch that? No, just a Cullen. Nevermind._

_Do you guys ever __sleep?_ I wondered idly.

_Yeah, Leah. Most of us ARE asleep. _They were right of course. The pack was so large someone was almost always up and about. I closed my eyes again and tried not to listen.

_Why aren't you phasing back?_

I contemplated just how chilly that would be without a proper sleeping bag.

_Got it. Night night._

But it was no use. I was awake now. _What are you all doing, anyway?_

_Patrolling, gotta make sure all is quiet._

I snorted. _Because we're constantly overrun by vampires._

_You just never __know with them leeches._

I stood up and shook myself out. Then I went to relieve myself. Marcus started to follow until a growled at him. I am not a morning person. Especially when I don't get my coffee. I wasn't getting my coffee for a long time now.

"Running again today?"

He wasn't honestly complaining was he? I'd just left my life behind. I'd walked out on a perfectly nice guy, dropped my certification mid-stream, and chosen to run with a stinking vampire. Was he actually _whining_ at me?

I felt my lip curling, the hair rising on my neck.

"Leah? Is something wrong?" he asked now.

_I don't know; want to wait for her to bite?_

_Are you in for a smack down__._

_Wow, way to spot the obvious, dimwit. _That one was me. That was the bitch talking. I needed to rein her in. He hadn't said he was against running, just asking. He wasn't whining; he was looking for direction. I needed to get a grip on myself.

I tried to stretch and felt stuck. I needed my arms and only had legs. Phasing, I started stretching, fighting the anger, fighting the frustration. I was a woman, not a bitch.

Marcus was patient. He wasn't even really watching me. It must have scared him how easily he could hurt me. I couldn't think about him now. I needed to focus on myself first. If I didn't get a grip on myself it wouldn't matter what he thought.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the release came. I felt the tension ooze out of me and I was a woman again. I moved to my bag and pulled out a pair of cords and T-shirt. Being dressed helped a lot too.

"Yeah, but maybe not as fast." I started untying my shoes and pulled them on.

"That's all right. Fast was exhilarating, but I'd like some time to talk with you too. The conversations are very one-sided the other way."

I chuckled. "What if I told you the real reason I'm human now wasn't to talk?"

"I'd wonder what it was. I'd wonder if you'd mind talking even if it wasn't your intention." His eyes were soft on my face. They were lighter again today. Definitely more orange than red now.

"I wouldn't mind, but... you might want to wait a little longer before starting any opinionated conversation." I headed for the nearest stream I could smell. I cupped my hands and drank. I hoped this water was a clean as it should be. I was too thirsty to do anything else. The cold water woke me up, too.

Marcus was waiting for me when I turned back to him. He had both bags looped over his chest. "Is there anything I can do for you, Leah?"

What an interesting question. Was there?

"I think you've done enough," I said. And I meant it. He'd taken me from family, from friends, from school. He'd brought me a sense of self I'd never had before. I didn't feel wrong anymore. Before that had always plagued me. Even after I'd managed to get control over the wolf, I still had that nagging imperfection hanging over my head. That was gone now.

He hung his head. He'd only taken it the first way, not the second. I didn't really feel like blowing sunshine for him. Instead, I just grabbed his arm and started stalking north. "I'm not a morning person," I muttered.

"I'm not a sleeping person," he said and I laughed.

"How are you feeling today? Need to hunt again? I'm going to need to. I didn't bring any food with me." I really wasn't looking forward to that. Jacob had taught me how to make it bearable, but that was still all it was. I shuddered a little at the thought.

"I'm feeling... intimidated." He wasn't whining. He was honestly scared. I understood this. I wasn't normally compassionate, but I could try for him.

"Starting a new life is frightening, especially when you don't know how or where you're going to do it." I was still walking, trying to find a pace I could maintain while talking. I did want to get some ground covered today. "It's scary not knowing where you're going, what is waiting for you there."

"You don't seem scared. Do you know something I don't?" he asked.

I snorted. "I just don't seem scared. Also, I've never known where I'm going to end up or how I'm going to get there. From the first time I phased into a wolf, any plan my life had disappeared. Well, before that even. My plan had been to get married, have kids, stay with my tribe. When Sam left me for Emily, that dream was ruined. It wasn't long after that, I hadn't gotten over being hurt at all, when I phased into a wolf for the first time. Since then, I haven't had a plan. I just wanted to stop hurting, start being a person again." I took a breath, feeling the pain of the memories gripping me. "I'm a woman, I'm not a bitch." Rolling my shoulders, I forced the anger and pain to roll off my back. I was used to that pain.

Marcus wasn't looking where he was going at all. He was staring at me. "What?" I asked in a snippy tone.

He looked ahead and I climbed over a snag. He jumped. Show-off. We were quiet for a while. Okay, I was quiet and he was silent. I swear the guy wouldn't breathe if someone didn't remind him. Meanwhile, I was snapping twigs, crunching dried leaves. I didn't sound like a herd of buffalo, but I made sure to be loud enough that the bears would know I was around.

Bears. I sniffed. Nope, but maybe later. That could be a fun catch. I wondered if Marcus would be quite as clean and efficient with a good sized grizzly. They'd be fresh out of hibernation too. Ah, fun times.

"Leah. Are you sure I can do this?" he asked.

"Why? Do you think you can't?" That was the wrong thing to say. Geez, did I really think I could do this for a living?

"I'm not sure." Of course he wasn't. That's why a compassionate counsellor would tell him that he could do it. It would take work and practice, but if he wanted to, he could do it. I growled at myself.

"I'm going to try. I am." Oh great, now I'd made him think I was mad at him. How many ways could I screw this up?

"I'm growling at me, Marcus. I know you're going to try. And I know you can do it. It isn't going to be easy, but if you want it, you can do it. We'll work together." There, that sounded right. It didn't sound like me, but it sounded right.

He smiled. "Together. I like that."

I smiled too and took his hand, twining my fingers in his again. He needed confidence and I needed a reminder that I wasn't a complete screw-up. I think it worked for both of us.


	7. Chapter 7

We crossed the next Highway on our trek north. I stopped in Gold Bar at a sporting and hardware store for a canteen, well four actually, and some water purification tablets. I also grabbed a small enamelled pot.

"Long hike?" the guy behind the counter asked, noting my lack of pack.

"No. Lots of day trips," I claimed.

He nodded and I hoped the schmuck wouldn't remember me at all. Marcus was eyeballing everything in the place. He seemed to not know what any of it was and handled several objects trying to divine their use. I saved him on a couple of occasions. When he picked up the calf teat, though, I just had to leave him to his own imagination. It would no doubt be better than anything I could come up with.

I also made a quick stop in the food mart. I grabbed some crap coffee, a bag of rolled oats and multivitamins. Jake didn't seem to have any health effects from two weeks on an all meat diet, but I wanted to be prepared, just in case.

Finally, I stopped in the cafe for my last human meal for who knew how long. I drank my properly brewed coffee and dug into one of the best beef dips I'd ever had. It was actually bison dip – someone had a ranch in the area. Marcus looked a little uncomfortable as people approached us, but generally nonchalant. Maybe we'd be back in towns, if not cities, more often than I thought. I'd never been a city girl, but the idea of having access to a reliable source of beans was definitely appealing.

I took us a little further east after lunch, aiming for Mount Baker. I hadn't been there in years, but I knew it was a desolate place. It was one of those few untouched areas. We could probably stay there for a while, if Marcus liked it at all.

Marcus continued to drill me on my mundane human existence. I talked about fishing and hunting with my Dad and uncles, the last time I'd been out in this park. I wanted to ask him more questions, but I was afraid. What could he tell me except stories about draining the life from humans? I shuddered at the thought.

Finally the day got the better of me again. "I think I need to call it a night," I told him while we were still just south of the border.

"I understand," he said with a smile. Those seemed to be coming more easily to him all the time.

"You don't have to stay with me," I reminded him as I ducked behind a tree to change and phase.

"I like being with you," he said smoothly. I wish I could have seen his face when he said it, it sounded sincere. Then again, with these stone faces I might not know any more by looking at him. I closed my eyes, trying to find my inner bitch. She didn't come easily tonight. I was too calm, too content. I remembered that Marcus still was a vampire, even if he had stopped hunting humans. That did it.

I picked my clothes up carefully in my teeth and carried them out with me.

"I'll pack those away for you," Marcus said, taking them from me.

While he was squatting I rubbed myself along his back, turning and returning to his side. He sat down and I put my head in his lap, giving a wolf grin.

He kissed my head.

_Ewwwww._

_Oh shut up,_ I complained to the pack now in my head. They'd been relatively quiet. I looked through their eyes and saw it was only one young wolf, Amos. He was on the Cullen property watching Suplicia.

_How's she doing?_

_Not bad. She's been hunting a couple times. She doesn't like it, they tell me._ He gave me the images from the pack that had been on high alert at the time. He had been in class. She had been tentative and missed the first two prey. I barked a laugh with Amos at her ineptitude. Her eyes were changing color too, though no faster than Marcus's, the same orange.

_Hasn't been near any humans since she got __here__, well except Ness, but she doesn't count. Ruby keeps threatening to stop in and Joe keeps running her off. Why that girl is taking an interest, I do not know._

Joe's imprint, Ruby, was a girl after my own heart. Attitude to the core. She'd mellowed since her father had been removed from her life, but she still had some serious inner bitch. I couldn't fathom any more than Amos why she'd take an interest in a centuries old vampire looking to turn a new leaf.

_Well, I'm only phased to sleep. Keep it down, Okay?_ I teased.

_Party! Party! _He started playing some awful dance music in his head until I sent him an image of Marcus and I up against a tree.

_Ewwww! You play dirty! Sleep well, Leah._

I closed my eyes in Marcus' lap and let his gentle stroking lull me to sleep.

I woke with the sun. Wow, I'd slept all night. I arched my back and shook out my coat. Then I rolled my back and repeated the shake. Aaah, that felt better. As I looked around, I found another reason I had been awakened by the light. The clouds were sparse today and Marcus was shining. It was startling. I'd never really seen them like that, it being cloudy so much of the time in Forks.

"Sweet dreams?" he asked.

I rubbed my cheek to his. No dreams are the best dreams in my opinion.

_What are you talking about? These are the best dreams._

I almost gagged as Eli showed me his new girlfriend.

_Oh you are so gonna get it, pup._ I started undressing Marcus in my mind, hard, marble body, sparkling in the sun now.

_Ow, ow, ow! I_'_ll quit! I promise! _

_What a whiner._

Marcus was still looking at me. I got a bad idea.

_Oh yeah, totally! _Eli encouraged.

I leaned into my back legs and plowed forward, knocking Marcus to the ground. His arms closed on my ribcage before I had a chance to sprint away.

"Oh, you want to play?" he asked.

I scrabbled against him, trying to slide out of his grip. He rolled on top of me pinning me to the ground. I felt my breath push out of me under his weight. Was he made of stone too?

_Their heads have to be, _Eli thought.

He seemed to realize he was crushing me and lifted himself slightly. I shimmed out from under him, flipped over and jumped on his back to leap frog into the trees.

He chuckled and picked up the bags as I circled around again. We started hiking again. Our pace was much quicker today as I didn't feel the need to phase back. I was happy in the wolf. How long since that had been the case?

_Really? _Eli intruded again. _Being __a wolf__ is the best! You can run forever, you can see and smell so much more. Speaking of which, peeeeyuuu, how do you stand being around him all the time?_

_Please, he's not as bad as the one you're watching._

_I grant you that, but that is not a nice smell._

_Agreed. It's growing on me._

_Sticking to you more like._

I laughed with him on that one.

"I do wish I could hear you like Edward does," Marcus mused, looking at me and my chuckling. I nudged him in the hip. He wasn't missing anything, really.

_Hey, Eli, report? Whoa! Leah! Blind me with a bloodsucker. How you doing?_

_The grand Alpha graces us with his presence. I'm good, Jake. Just south of the border. We should be in Canada tomorrow._

_Sweet. Any guesses where you're stopping?_

_Nope, going where the wind takes us. Maybe far enough I can get all of YOU out of my head._

_Good luck with that. South America worked, but you aren't going that far._

Eli's thoughts broke into our stream._ Sup's been fine. All quiet in Cullen land. Rose and Emmett have her under lock and key._

_Sup? Lucia, come on. Give her a name if you're going to give her a name, _I argued._  
_

_Lucia, I like that. Course I like 'crusty leech' better, _Jacob thought._  
_

_That works too, _Eli agreed._  
_

I shook my head. Marcus was _not_ crusty.

_Yeah yeah, sure he's not._

Eli totally deserved the image that was replied with.

_Dang, Leah, really? You want me to talk to Edward or something? _Jake asked._  
_

Ah, crap. I hadn't meant for that much to make it out.

_Nah, Jake, we'll manage. I'm thinking a bed might help._

We all laughed at that.

"Every time you bark like that you make me more curious," Marcus complained. Then we caught a scent.

_Oh, yeah, freshly woken bear. Have a blast Leah!_

And we did. Marcus was going to need a new shirt the next time we got to any sort of center.

"Hmmm, bears have a longer reach than cougars," he commented.

I snickered. Then I phased back to answer him. "Especially when you take them face on! Here, I have a sewing kit in my bag, I'll fix that a bit."

I pulled the shirt off his shoulders. He turned and put his hands to my hips. His lips came to mine.

I was gasping when I pushed him away. "Been waiting for the chance to do that?" I teased.

"Yes, your teeth are less frightening this way," he said with another smile.

I threw my head back, laughing. I had had a couple of boyfriends since going wolf, but none had known my other shape. It was fun to be so completely myself, no secrets. I felt Marcus's lips on my neck and my laughter cut off abruptly. Ice spread down my neck as his mouth moved to my collarbone. At the same time, fire flooded through my face and down through my breasts. My breath heaved as all my nerves began to tingle.

I put my hands to his bare shoulders. I opened my eyes letting them run the lines of his deltoid, his arms, his back. "Marcus," I whispered.

He froze and I chuckled. "No, it doesn't hurt. The opposite."

"I'm glad," he murmured against my skin as he continued to kiss his way over my skin. Everywhere his hands and lips weren't touching was on fire now. His hands were at the small of my back and buttocks, his lips were on one of my breasts and I was sure I was melting away from my own heat.

I ran my hands through his hair and he continued his descent, moving to his knees now. He looked up at me for a moment and I saw the new color in his eyes. They were now a beautiful apricot color, even lighter than before. Then his mouth was on my navel and I gasped in pleasure.

"Yes," I encouraged him. "I'm so warm, so hot."

"Like fire. I feel like I should be consumed," he murmured his mouth moving lower still.

I put hands to his shoulders as my legs began to wobble. My knees were not responding properly anymore. Especially not when the cold ice licked into my hot lips. I screamed in surprise.

Marcus held my hips tightly and backed up again, looking to me.

"No, it's good. it's too good." I shook my head; I couldn't believe how good it felt. The cold smothering me. My hands moved to his shoulders, holding myself up.

He kissed my lower lips again and I moaned.

I felt one cold hand slide under my buttocks and another behind my knee. He pulled me down and I sat with a thump on the forest floor.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

I laughed. "No, there's a root in my back, but that's unavoidable." I pulled him up to my mouth and kissed him again. I felt him rub against me and cried into his mouth. He was cold and his pants were rough. I reached down to try to release him. I still didn't understand where this need for him had come from. His company had been enough a few minutes ago, but it wasn't any longer. I needed more. I needed all of him.

His brow furrowed and he broke our kiss, meeting my eyes again. "You're sure?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes, we'll be gentler this time, right?" I smiled at him and kissed him again. Then I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him to me. The ground, still frosty in the early spring and him over me, stole all my heat away. I felt just the right temperature for once. Not too hot, not too cold. Except in one place. Inside, I was still burning. I reached down to grab his hips as he continued to hesitate. I pulled him into me and he relented, sliding slowly.

Just as before that moment was ecstatic bliss. Perfect union, cool balm to my raging heat, a feeling of wholeness, completeness. He slid his hands under my arms and lifted my shoulders very gently from the carpet of needles. Then he pulled out and back in, watching my face every second. When I closed my eyes and moaned, I hoped he knew he hadn't hurt me. He must have because he did the same again.

"Oh, Leah," he murmured. "I haven't felt this way. Not exactly this way."

I didn't want to hear about Didyme now. I bit into his neck and he gasped, growling. He thrust faster, farther.

"Yes," I groaned, moving with him. I was glad he had lifted me somewhat. I could feel scratches forming on my lower back where I was still connected to the ground but ignored them. His hands stayed gentle on me, no bruising, no crushing, nothing like the last time.

I kissed him again just before I fell apart under him. The fire inside me was beyond control now and I started to scream again. My legs locked tightly on his waist as I thrust into him with abandon. He had stopped moving, probably concerned, but it didn't deter me at all.

After a few seconds, my body began to relax and I fell back to the ground. "Wow," I murmured.

His smile was broad and divine. "Wow, indeed," he said putting his lips to my ear, flicking my lobe with his tongue. I shuddered and clutched him.

"Now you can tell me exactly how that made you feel." I said while rolling my eyes. I was in a much better mood now.

He hung his head. "I am sorry, Leah. That was insensitive of me." At least he knew he'd made a mistake.

"Don't do it again," I whispered in warning, putting my tongue inside his ear. He shook and I laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

_Yuck, I am sooo out of here._

I couldn't be sad to have the only other voice in my head fade away. Marcus and I were making good time into British Columbia. I had a thought to stop in an actual city today. I had had a pot (literal pot) of crappy coffee this morning, but I could really go for something properly brewed and filtered. Also, Marcus really needed a new shirt. The one he had was functional but looked like crap. His pants weren't much better. He needed to wash, or in the case of the shirt – replace, both.

When we approached highway sounds, I followed them north and west expecting to come on something. Sure enough, we had found Kelowna.

I phased and dressed. "I'll get you some clothes and come back," I told Marcus with a smile.

"I wish I could join you," he said remorsefully.

"You can after your dressed," I teased, kissing him. "Or maybe I'll just enjoy removing what's left of that outfit."

He growled and grabbed me to him roughly. "Teasing is not nice."

I felt the shiver down my spine that his cold hands and tenor voice created. "Hmmm, seems pretty nice to me." I kissed him again, running my tongue over his icy lips. That bittersweet flavor was better than the coffee I was going to get in town. His hands had left my arms and were drifting under my shirt now. I shivered again as his fingers found my skin, but I pushed him away a little. "Not until I get a bed," I vowed.

He laughed. "Understood."

It thrilled me that Marcus's clothing was the only thing keeping him from joining me. We had crossed a few hikers' paths en route and, other than stopping for a moment to collect himself, he didn't seem to be bothered by the scent at all. Of course, he hadn't run into that smell _while_ hunting. He'd told me that would be the worst time.

I hoofed it to the highway in my jeans and black tee. Someone pulled over for me, "Need a lift into town?" a grey head asked through the window of the pick-up.

"Yeah, thanks," I said with a smile, hopping in. "I'm camping in the area and just wanted to get a few supplies."

"Oh, yeah," he said, nodding, a common story no doubt. "You got a gun or bear spray on you? They're ornery right now."

"Yeah, I left the spray with my friends."

He nodded again. "Where can I drop you?" he asked as we pulled in.

"Got a Wal-mart?" I asked.

He snorted. "Who doesn't these days." He drove straight through town across the river.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, jumping out.

"Take care," he replied, pulling back out of the parking lot. Canadians sure were nice.

I looked around the big box complex and saw a place called 'Mark's Work Warehouse.' I started laughing, thinking of my Mark, and ran toward it. I picked out several shirts and a variety of pants that should fit. I also found a bag I could carry things in. I brought it up to the till and pulled the cash from my pocket.

"Oh, I don't have a way to exchange American money," the cashier told me with an apologetic smile. "There's a bank three or four blocks down the highway, by the Safeway. I'll hold this for you, if you like."

"Um.. sure." I hadn't even thought about changing my money. Of course I would need to. "Thanks."

After a quick turnaround, I took my new purchases and found a Starbucks. I absolutely _had_ to stop. Not only coffee, coffee I knew. I saw lots of Canadians walking around with Tim Horton's cups that obviously held coffee, but something familiar? There was nothing like it. I carried my cup in one hand and slung my purchases slung over my shoulder with the other, walking along the highway. Another car pulled over for me.

"Headed west?" the young man inside asked.

"Yeah, just outside town. Thanks." I hopped in again.

"Sure thing. The buses here blow. That's why I have this POS." I listened to the engine grumble in complaint. "I'm not headed out of town, but I can at least get you across the bridge."

"I appreciate it." Were Canadians a lot more likely to pick up hitchers or was I a lot less scary looking than I used to be? I sipped my americano.

"You live here? Or just visiting?" he asked, looking at me with obvious interest.

I had to smile. Less scary, got it. "Just passing through. A friend and I are camping outside of town."

"Cool. Well, enjoy your stay." He slipped me his number as he shook my hand.

"Thanks, and thanks for the ride," I said with a wave. He turned south into the residential neighbourhood, and I trotted the rest of the way out of town.

Marcus was easy to find; he was glittering in the middle of a clearing with another bear at his feet.

"Someone is making a piggy of himself," I teased, tossing the bag at him. "Check that those fit," I said.

He looked at the bag and laughed, as I'd hoped he would. I found a snag to sit on while he changed. "I thought you were going to finish destroying this," he said as he took off his shirt and waved it at me.

"There is still time," I said with a smirk. "If those fit, I figured you'd wear your shred-wear another day until we get to the parks."

"Shred-wear?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Wolf-thing. When we're new to shifting, we have a tendency of doing so without removing tight fitting clothing first. Anything in rough enough shape that you don't mind losing is shred-wear."

He nodded dropping his pants. I whistled. "Tease," he complained again, pulling on the new pair.

I decided to show him who was and who was not teasing. I walked over and started stroking while I kissed him. He gasped at first, obviously surprised by my intention.

I pulled off my shirt, not wanting to get it dirty, and put my hand to him again, rubbing the head of him on me. Icy fingers made circles and lines on my back while his lips were freezing mine. His skin was quickly warmed with my heat, though, and the touches became cool rather than cold. He was also starting to groan.

"That's what I want to hear," I whispered, running my thumb over his swollen head.

He pulled his lips slightly from mine and I heard his teeth click as he closed them tightly. "I don't want to hurt you," he whispered through heavy breaths.

"You aren't hurting me," I told him with a chuckle, putting my tongue to his neck. He was cold as ice and my mouth was hot and watering. He gasped and tightened his grip on me as I licked his throat. I felt his nails scrape into me. He was starting to tense up. I knew he was close.

"Does the fresh feed make you hotter?" I asked. He hadn't gotten off this easily last time.

He nodded, his eyes heavily lidded.

I kissed his lower lip, biting it lightly. I squeezed him more tightly in my fist and listened to his groan.

"Leah," he whimpered.

I squatted quickly and put my mouth to him. I choked as he thrust into my mouth. I barely had time to shift myself before he was shooting into me.

Was his ejaculation venomous? I had no idea. Better safe than sorry, I figured, so I let the fluid drip back out of my mouth and down his length. I rubbed it along the still-hard shaft, before standing again.

"Leah," he murmured again, pulling my lips to his.

"Just let me rinse my mouth," I said quickly.

"It's not venom," he said with a smile.

"Oh." I smiled and licked my lips.

He closed his eyes and his face creased as he took a deep breath, "Tease."

I laughed. "Come on, let's get out of here." I began pulling my pants off to phase.

Cold hands slipped under my panties, pulling them down with my pants. "Piggy," I muttered with a laugh.

"Mmmhmmm," he mumbled with his mouth on me. I shivered and started to fall forward, my hand out to catch the ground. He turned me to sit on him. "I'll be the one on the needles this time," he suggested.

I could agree to that. I leaned over and kissed him again. "How do you get me so hot?" I asked, bewildered. "I was taking it easy, having a coffee, and now, I think I'll melt if I don't have you in me." I lowered myself slowly over him. I watched him wince as I covered him inch by inch.

"You will melt me," he declared, putting cold hands to my hips. He tried to thrust into me, but I lifted myself at the same time.

"No, no no," I argued. "I'm the one riding here. You just lie still," I teased.

He whimpered again. This powerful, mighty predatory killer was reduced to whimpers by me. God that was sexy. I dropped onto him this time and his shoulders came up off the ground in a jerk. I squeezed the length of him inside me and he relaxed back to the ground with a groan. I leaned over him and put my mouth to his chest. I took one of his frozen nipples in my mouth and nipped it. He moaned again and his head thumped on the ground. I ran my tongue around it and sucked it into my mouth.

He lifted his hips and again I lifted my own. "You are driving me mad," he said, rolling his eyes back into his head. His hips fell back to the earth and he slipped a little from me. I bobbed lightly on just the head of his cock until he whimpered again, his hands tightening on my hips.

I slapped one of his arms, "You're going to bruise me," I admonished.

He whimpered again and slowly, one by one, his fingers relaxed. I continued to rub the tip of him, occasionally dropping lower to relish the chill that sent through my insides. I leaned back as the heat continued to build in me. I wouldn't be able to tease him much longer. His hands slid forward and his thumbs were in my hair, one rubbing very close to my hot and throbbing clit. He seemed to realize this and slid the last fraction to touch me. I dropped onto him with a cry of my own. I put my hands to my breasts and squeezed them as I rode the full length of him, letting his cold shaft massage my heat. I was squeezing and throbbing and he was tossing his head, holding his hands tight to my hips. He was bruising me again, but I didn't care. I was going to come and so was he.

"Leah," he begged, just as I cried one more time, unravelling on him. I laid down on his chest putting my cheek to his cold pectoral. I took several ragged breaths while he stroked my hair. "You are amazing," he whispered, kissing my head.

"You're no slouch yourself," I mocked, grinning for all I was worth.

We ran once I was able to stand again.

_Ewwww, could you take an hour or two before phasing, Leah. That is soooo g__ross._ It was Seth. That made it worse.

I filled my mind with the polite and kind Canadians that gave me a lift._ Sorry, Seth. That better?_

_Yeah, thanks. Where are you in Canada?_

_Kelowna. I'm hoping to hit the Parks tomorrow._

_Awesome! Can't wait to see that. The Rockies are supposed to be gorgeous up there._

_Yeah, I'm looking forward to it, too._ My tongue lolled, remembering pictures I'd seen. _Maybe I'll clean up in a hot spring._ But that brought an image of Marcus in a speedo. _Eek, sorry, Seth._

_Heh, guess that's what we get for unloading on you so often, eh? _He was right. I couldn't count how many women in string bikinis or less I'd had to see through the heads of my pack mates.

_So you're good. I'm so glad to know that, Leah. I was really worried, y'know? I mean, you never liked the Cullens. I had no idea how you would handle being imprinted on a leech. I'm glad it's working for you._

_Well it's not all lollipops and puppies._ That brought a funny image of me having puppies and Seth and I both had to bark laughs. But I'd managed to keep the more disturbing image from him. No doubt he'd heard about it from Jacob anyway.

_Yeah, he said it was, complicated._ He carefully avoided thinking about it too much either.

_How's Mom? _I quickly changed topics.

_Great. Your stuff arrived yesterday. She says you better write soon or she's going to come to Canada and kick your ass._

I barked again. She would, too. _Well, if we're in the Parks, I'll be able to email. If I'd been on the ball, they had Wifi in Kelowna, but I left the laptop with Marcus._

He was looking at me quizzically again, wondering who I was talking to and about what, as usual. He smiled then and looked ahead. I guessed I looked happy.

_Wow, he loves you, eh?_

I hadn't really thought about it as love. I mean, he needed me, and I needed him, but love?

_I guess..._

_Well, Lucia's still in the house, I'm going to phase back, save my nose an hour or two. Give you some peace to indulge in all your dirty thoughts, you sick puppy._

I laughed again, and Seth's mind left mine.

We entered the Park boundaries and were still going more or less west. We were finding a lot more human scents and I looked to Marcus, wondering if he needed another hunting stop before we got too far in. His eyes had converted to a full gold now and he smiled at me. The smell didn't seem to be bothering him at all. "There is a resort ahead?" he asked.

I phased to human. "You know about that?"

He laughed. "There's a sign on the road ahead." Sure enough, now I could glimpse the sign on the highway through the trees. I hadn't been looking at it before. "I do believe I promised you a bed," he said with another smile.

I blushed and he stopped walking, grabbing me into a kiss. He could never resist me when I blushed. "Can I treat you to a room for the night? A night without your fur coat?"

I laughed. "I would _love_ that. I don't know if it's a good idea, though. I don't have much money." I looked down, embarrassed.

"I said I would treat you." He pulled a wad of bills from one the bags.

"Where did you get that?" They were nearly all hundred dollar bills, he must have had five or ten thousand on him.

"Carlisle," he said simply. "When I mentioned that I didn't bring any funds with me from Volterra, he and Edward gave me what they had on them. He said to let him know if we needed anything else."

My mouth was still hanging open, and he was looking at me worriedly.

"This is too... too much," I stammered. "I can't take this from them."

He smiled now. "You don't have to. I did. And I have every intention of paying them back, once we're on our feet."

He stroked my cheek and the chill made me look away from the bills. I really liked the way he said 'we'. "Right. _We_ will."

"So, I can treat you?" he asked again.

"Hell yeah!" I said with a larger smile.


	9. Chapter 9

I watched with my wolf eyes, keeping to Marcus' side as he hunted. We were on the scent of a bear, but there were too many people in the area. If he turned off after the wrong scent, as he had once already, I was prepared to lunge in and stop him pursuing it. It was a good thing we'd kept his shred-wear. I'd done a good job of tearing the shirt when I tossed him to the ground earlier. I'd taken a chunk out of his shoulder at the same time, but he didn't seem to begrudge that at all.

"Thank you, Leah," he had said when he came out of his hunting frenzy. I dropped the cold white rock from my mouth into his hand and he replaced it in shoulder. "I'm glad you're here." He hugged my wolf neck then. I rubbed my snout on his cheek. "Let's walk a little closer and try again," he suggested.

And that was what we were doing. I could still smell the humans, and I kept watching, waiting, expecting him to break for one of their trails, but he didn't. He would turn his head, looking down the trail and then grunt before turning back to the bear. Now we were close. I started to ease up as Marcus crashed into the massive grizzly bear. He pinned the forepaws to the bear's sides and knocked him flat. It was over before I knew it.

He got up slowly. I watched warily, wondering if he would go after humans again. He shook a little but eventually was standing upright and still. "I'm all right," he said, trying to convince himself probably. "Let's go back and get our things."

I gave him my wolf smile, which he was able to recognize now, and we ran to where we'd stashed our bags, just outside the Banff town site. I got there first and phased. I was half dressed before he caught up. He wore a look of disappointment as he found himself a change of clothing. I watched closely as he changed. I could resist a little better than he could at this exact moment. Then I slung on my messenger bag and took his hand to walk into Banff. We stayed in the shadowy trees as the sun finished setting and stepped out as we approached one of the hotels.

The woman at the desk was eyeing Marcus appreciatively. She smiled broadly and welcomed us, well him, to the Banff Park Lodge.

"I'm looking for your most comfortable room for three nights." My eyes bulged slightly and I bit my lip a little as I looked at him from the corner of my eye. Three nights? I felt my heart start to race and my breath quicken.

"Of course, sir. I have our Royal Suite available. Would that be acceptable?"

"Royal, yes, that would be perfect," he said, turning his butterscotch eyes to me and making my knees knock. He pulled out several bills from his wad. "Will that be enough?" he asked.

"Yes..." the woman stammered, obviously not expecting to be paid in cash. "Just let me get your change."

Marcus' eyes didn't leave my face and I looked down, starting to blush. "No change," he said very quickly, grabbing the key she had set on the counter and sweeping me into his arms. We were suddenly in an elevator and he was kissing me. I was gasping against his lips for breath. "You know what that does to me," he said breathily, running his cold nose down my hot one. I closed my eyes as my chest continued to heave.

"Three days?" I asked incredulously.

He growled lightly. "At least. I might have to keep you here longer."

I shuddered at the implications. "And you don't plan to leave the room, do you?" I verified.

"Don't worry," he whispered in my ear now, his breath cold and wet. "I'll let you rest."

I quivered again. "What floor are we on anyway?" I was growling now. This elevator was moving far too slowly.

Marcus glanced down the hall and, seeing no one, was at our door in less than a second. My arms tensed around his neck. I was unaccustomed to that kind of speed through human eyes. Before I knew it, I was on the bed with a cold vampire hovering over me.

He slowed down abruptly. My heart and brain were still racing from the flight down the hall and the idea of three days in bed with Marcus. He kissed my forehead, then the space between my eyebrows, then the bridge of my nose, the tip. By the time he'd reached my lips they were smiling widely.

I brought my hands to his cheeks and held his icy lips to my hot ones. He leaned further into me and I laid back onto the pillows under me.

"I never dreamed..." he murmured. "I never imagined."

"What?" I asked.

"You. I never dreamed of you. I never imagined a woman so warm, so soft, and so strong."

"But-"

He hushed me with another kiss. "You are so different, so special. My second chance. My redemption." Now his lips were moving under my jaw, toward my ear. The cold was tingling through my neck and into my chest. I start trembling again and could feel my blood rushing, the blush tinting my skin.

Marcus growled low and soft before putting his lips back to mine, his tongue exploring my mouth now. Its ice spread over my own tongue, under it, along the inside of my lip. I gasped as he sucked my lip into his mouth. I felt his teeth.

He opened his mouth quickly and my lip slid out. I put a hand to my lip. It was numb with cold. "I'm sorry. That was... dangerous."

I attacked him suddenly. It might have been the adrenaline, it might have been something I sensed in him, but I knew I was taking charge now. I reached down to unfasten his pants and pushed them down with my feet. At the same time I crushed my lips to his and wrapped one leg over his hip.

He went rigid. I thought maybe he was afraid what his reaction would be. I didn't slow my attack. I kicked the other leg free of my pants and wrapped it around him as well. I was boiling again and the chill of his skin was perfect.

"Leah," he begged.

"Marcus," I demanded and met his golden eyes with my hungry gaze. It had the effect I'd hoped for. He moved quickly, too quickly and I was suddenly crushed against the headboard. I heard snapping. "Ow," I whispered now, putting a hand to my head. "Right. Teasing isn't nice. I'll remember next time." I pulled my hand away from the scrape in my scalp. "I need to get a towel for this." I rolled, but he was already up and back with a towel in hand. "Thanks." I pressed it in a wad to my head. I winced as I pulled it away a moment later, my hair was clotted in the wound.

"I'm so sorry, Leah." Marcus squatted at the edge of the bed next to me.

"Again. Scrapes heal fast. I'm just going to wash up." I kissed him lightly. His expression was so sad, so remorseful. "Here, look for yourself," I suggested tipping my head down. "It's all healed up already. Don't worry about it. Worry about paying for the damage to the bed." I said with a laugh.

I swung my legs around, but Marcus was still squatting there. He put his head into my lap. My pants fell from my leg. I could see goosebumps on my thighs where his head didn't cover them. I ran my hand through his hair over and over. I could feel his lips moving in that prayer of his. I sighed. "This isn't something that's going to go away, Marcus. You are always going to be stronger than me, especially like this."

"I know."

"So what do we do?" I asked now, looking down at him. His eyes were still closed.

"I wish I knew."

"How about, for now, you come take a shower with me? I really want to wash my hair. I might get you to cut it while we're here too." I put my hand to the clump of crusty hair. It crunched.

He rose slowly. "Let's clean you up." He took my hand leading me to the bathroom where he pulled off my shirt before slipping off his own. He turned the shower up hot and steam soon billowed throughout the room.

"Thanks," I said, kissing him lightly. I stepped in and let the water run through my hair. I closed my eyes and let the warmth soothe me. I hadn't known I needed soothing until it was already done. I felt chilly fingers in my hair and smelled shampoo. I opened my eyes to see Marcus looking down into my hair. I took a step forward and leaned onto him. The warm water and my warm skin made his coolness even colder. I shivered for a second before sighing and tucking my head into his shoulder. "That feels good," I murmured.

"Good." He let his fingers slide down to my neck, stroking, then ran them back up through my hair. My eyelids fluttered against his marble skin and I wondered if that tickled him. I straightened enough to turn my face to his. He understood my desire and put his lips gently to mine.

"Try that again?" I asked, smiling.

He smiled too and reached past me to turn off the water. He carried me back to the bed and started again, slowly this time. He put his lips beneath my ear and kissed along my neck – small kisses, and he pulled his lips away after each one.

His lips crossed my collarbone and along the inside of my left breast. I started to squirm, his pace never increasing. He kissed along my stomach, my navel, down the crease of my hip.

"Marcus," I moaned, lifting my hips to his face. He put his hands to my hips and held me still. He didn't answer but continued slowly down the inside of my leg. Now I was one whimpering. I felt myself throbbing, burning. I wanted him to cover me, to smother the flames. But he slowly kissed each of my toes on my left foot. He started on the ones on my right.

"Please," I begged. He kissed his was up my right leg, his tongue licking behind my knee and I bucked against his hands again. "Please."

"I won't deny you long." His voice was so low and quiet that I barely heard him. His mouth moved to my sex and I cried again. His cold breath made me burn. His hands left my hips and slid along my ribs as he kissed my lower lips.

"Yes," I moaned. "Yes, Marcus." I could feel myself dripping as I melted under him. I hooked my legs over his shoulders, opening myself for him. His hands traced my ribs and the bottom of my breasts. The chill mitigated the heat still burning in me. He used his cold tongue to cool my raging heat and I screamed for him, my hands moving to tangle in his hair. "Yes!"

When the tension in my legs eased, his tongue was no longer icy; I had melted him as well. He moved one hand to my right thigh, keeping it on his chest as he moved forward, over me. My eyes found his. The gold of his eyes was molten, warm, flaring. He pressed into me and I arched off the bed. He kissed the inside of my leg where it rested near his cheek and I squeezed him inside me. He was so hard and so cold. It was ecstasy to hold on while pleasure ripped through me. He moved carefully now, sliding slowly in and out of me. The fire in me was raging and I was groaning with his every thrust. I looked to his face between every one. His brow was creased in concentration.

I longed for him to let go, to be strong enough that he didn't have to take care. And even when he was, I was being destroyed and remade by him. I was no longer the angry, hurt woman I had been a few years ago. I wasn't even the happy girl I'd been before that. I was something new, something he had made. I was a woman, a woman who could match him even if I couldn't handle him. I could meet him on every front he wished. I would. I would be his mate, his opposite.

Somewhere in those thoughts, I felt him quaking inside me. I squeezed harder as my insides tried to steady him, tried to steady me. I screamed again as he erupted in me. My back fell back onto the mattress as my breath came in pants. He sighed and kissed my leg again. Then he lowered it to the bed and lay beside me, pulling me onto his chest. It was blessedly cool against the blush that sent a new wave of heat through me. He ran his hand through my hair and down my back. I shivered as his touch made me tingle.

"Was it hard?" I asked now.

"Not any harder than choosing not to hunt the humans. I takes a little more focus, that's all."

I hugged him tightly. "I'm glad."

"It wouldn't matter if it was more difficult. I would do it, gladly." He kissed the top of my head. "And not for my own relief."

I smiled and closed my eyes.

When I opened them next, I was under the covers. I threw them off quickly and rolled onto Marcus. He chuckled. "Too warm?"

"Yes," I complained. Then I saw he had my laptop out. "What are you doing?"

"Exchanging messages with Carlisle. He and Alice have helped me set up an account for us. We will be able to see to our own needs soon."

I sighed in content. "And you have an email address?"

"I might have borrowed yours for a few moments until I set up my own." He chuckled. "I needed some help to walk through that."

"Luddite," I teased.

He laughed. "Worse, I think. I haven't opened the messages that were yours. Would you like to read them now?"

"No. I think I want to lay here and watch you."

He closed the lid. I pouted. He turned to me and kissed me again. "I can think of better things to do."

I blushed and he took a deep breath. When his eyes opened they were fiery. He kissed me gently, though, moving until he was between my legs. "Unless you'd rather just watch me?"

"Who's teasing now," I argued, throwing my legs around his hips and pulling him to me.

He laughed and put his mouth to my neck. It was still a strange sensation when he opened his mouth on my throat. Not that he couldn't kill me as easily biting me anywhere else, but I felt so much more vulnerable this way. Some nerve must run straight from my throat to my loin because it always got the same quick reaction. I used my legs to pull myself over him and he started rocking with me.

"Marcus," I whispered.

"I love you, Leah."

My eyes opened. Seth had said it before and now I was confronted with the thought again. Love. What did I know of love? I knew the love of family, of the pack. I thought I'd loved Sam, and that he loved me. But was this? Did I know that kind of love?

Marcus sensed my sudden preoccupation and stopped. "Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong," I clarified. "You love me," I repeated.

He smiled broadly and his eyes lit up. "Yes, very much. You are my life. I haven't had a life for a long, long time. And I haven't loved for a long, long time."

I thought about that for a moment. Marcus _did_ know love. He had lost his mate; she hadn't betrayed him, she had been betrayed. He was certain and I trusted that. I kissed him now, urging him to continue, but he didn't.

"What else?"

I didn't know how to say it. "I don't know..."

He put a hand to one of my legs and it dropped from him. I didn't even realize I'd let go. He laid beside me again and pulled me on top of him. "Think on it, and let me know."

I sighed and closed my eyes again. "I thought Sam loved me. I thought that was love, but it couldn't have been. If it had, he wouldn't have imprinted on Emily. Okay, I don't know that," I allowed. "I don't believe he would have, though. He would have imprinted on me."

"Yes. Perhaps he did love you, just not in quite the same way he loves Emily."

That didn't help me. "How do I know if I love you?" I asked him now, propping myself up to look in his eyes.

He held my eyes. I blinked several times but never saw him do the same. After several minutes, I sighed and put my head back down.

He stroked my hair again. "I can't tell you."

"Right."

I felt an odd twitch beneath me and my smile returned. "I don't need to know right now," I admitted, sliding down and sitting up on him.

I didn't get far in teasing him by riding before he turned over and thrust fully into me. I gasped and shivered. This time he held both my legs as he stroked in and out of me. I quickly flipped a pillow behind my head, just in case. He smiled and chuckled. I tried to rock myself against his thrusts and he groaned, tightening his grip on me. I grinned, using my kegels to squeeze him harder. His eyes were closed now and his brow furrowed again in concentration. I twisted in his grasp and he released me with another groan. His head bowed into me and I kissed the top of it as he came inside me.

"Well. That was rather ungentlemanly."

"Not unmanly, though," I said with a smirk. I felt his hand tighten on my ass and giggled. "Oh, are you going to spank me? Am I a bad puppy?" My grin was mocking now and he narrowed his eyes. He seemed unsure. Very cautiously he released his hand and swatted my buttock. It made a satisfying crack and I giggled again.

"Hmm." He watched my reaction a little longer. "Not a bad puppy, no," he whispered into my ear, "A very," he started thrusting again, "very good puppy."

I moaned now and gripped his shoulders. "Oh good. Because I don't plan on stopping."

"Good, good puppy," he murmured, increasing his speed but not thrust. He was practically vibrating he was moving so fast and I tried to close on him, but couldn't.

"Oh! Yes!" I screamed now. "How?" I couldn't quite think. I certainly couldn't get the whole thought out. How was he doing that? Would he please, please not stop.

He didn't need me to verbalize, thank god. I cried again and again as I tried to clench on him. Finally he reached his limit as well and held himself deep inside me as I spasmed over his length. Waiting for the orgasm to subside.

"Sleep?" I asked.

"Already? Well, all right." He kissed me and rolled me atop him again, letting the heat drain from me. "Don't sleep too long though." He stroked my hair as I fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Marcus answered the door while I let the jets of the tub massage the knotted muscles of my legs. I'd held on a bit too tightly a bit too long during that last session. Ice didn't seem to be helping, but the heat with the jets was working wonders. He set the platter on the edge of the tub. "Are you going to get out to eat?"

"Are you nuts? Feed me," I demanded and reached out a hand to the plate. He knocked it away and climbed back in the tub beside me.

"As you wish," he lifted a spear of asparagus and held it out to me.

"Hmm, what does that look like?" I teased before biting off the tip of the spear.

"Oddly, I feel uncomfortable now." He sank a little in the tub.

I laughed loudly and grabbed the rest of the spear from him and munched it down quickly. "What else is on there?"

"Little that I can 'feed you' easily. It's a fish filet with rice on the side." He held the plate just above the water and handed me a fork.

"This works." I flaked off a bit of the fish. "Oh, that is good." I took a larger bite.

"I'll take your word for it," he said wrinkling his nose.

I giggled and ate more quickly. I sat back when it was gone and sank a little myself. "Ah, full tummy makes a happy wolf," I murmured. I closed my eyes and felt ice on my lids.

I heard a pop and opened them. There were two flutes but I knew in the end they were both for me. That was all right.

"To a bed?" he asked with a grin.

"To a tub," I said and clinked his glass.

"Indeed." He set his flute back on the side of the tub while I held mine. He ducked under the water and started kissing my breasts. The water had warmed him nicely so it wasn't startling at all. Until he didn't come up a minute later.

I laughed loudly as he continued to kiss me under the water. I gasped when his fingers started rubbing me though. He lifted only his eyes from the water, kissing my collarbone. I chuckled again and relished the feeling as I twitched on his fingers. "Show off."

He came up to kiss my lips then. "Well. You weren't coming out for food. I certainly wouldn't ask you to come out for me."

He pulled me over him and I slid on gratefully. I reached past him to put my now mostly empty wine glass next to his.

"So," I said, not moving from my perch. I gave a little squeeze; he gave a little twitch. I grinned. He put his lips under my chin. "What did Carlisle have to say?"

"You don't want to know what Carlisle had to say," he murmured against my throat.

I squeezed him again. "No, I just like what talking does to my insides." I turned my head to find his lips and bit the bottom one viciously. My human teeth didn't leave a mark, but he growled all the same. "I want to have a conversation," I said rocking on him once. "Tell me what Carlisle had to say."

"He said that he would gladly help me establish an anonymous account. He even offered to put an initial deposit in it." He was breathless, and I knew he was having trouble speaking. It turned me on; sadly, the information turned me off.

"He's giving us _more_ money? I'm going to feel owned by him soon." I reached quickly past Marcus' head and swallowed the last of my bubbly. Then I grabbed Marcus' flute and took another swig.

He took the glass from me. "It is of small amount to him, and he knows it will help us in our start. Don't be angry." He kissed my ear.

"It is of great amount to me." I was being sulky. As soon as I realized it, I squared my shoulders and swivelled my hips. "I will pay him back. Every penny." I thrust on the last words.

Marcus groaned. "Be angry," I thought was what he whispered, but it was hard to hear. "_We_ will pay him back. Though I'm sure he won't expect it. And we should do it in a manner other than money. He has that. Perhaps something for his family?"

I laughed, and that did interesting things where we were connected. "Well, while we're dreaming big. How much do we owe him I wonder? Are we looking at a car or a house?" I giggled again. I'd never had much more money than covered my expenses. The idea of buying a car or house for myself was luxurious. Come to think of it, I had left a car in La Push.

"What's on your mind?" he asked when I was still for a moment.

"Silly things. I left a car with my brother. I could ask him to sell it for me, put it in the account." I smiled at the thought of adding my own meagre funds to our pot.

"That is hardly silly. I still wish there were something I could contribute. Even if I asked Caius, I doubt he'd give me anything. Wait..." A smile bloomed on his face. "I thought of something of the Volturi that did come to America. And I am fairly certain Bella Cullen wants nothing to do with it." He kissed me then and slid us to the other side of the tub, my back pressed to the edge now. He slid in and out of me and I was thoroughly distracted from any discussion I may have tried to initiate.

I woke from another brief nap to see Marcus on my lap top again, sitting in a chair this time. The sun was bright against the mountains outside the window. He glittered like the snow. He hadn't noticed I'd woken yet, or he hadn't acknowledged me at any rate. I walked to him and looked over his shoulder.

"You really don't need to be researching that." Even I knew what the Kama Sutra was. Of course, this was loosely related to that. More like the stick diagram version. "I'm sure your experience and mine are more than sufficient." I tugged on his ear with my teeth.

"Yes, but it is amazing what I've missed."

"Can I check those messages before you ravage me again? I must write my mother, or she'll take a strip out of both our hides."

"Never let me come between a woman and her mother," he vowed, rising from the chair.

I chuckled as he went to turn on the television. He must have watched that a bit while I slept as well. He quickly flipped to a news channel, knowing what he was looking for.

I looked at my inbox. He'd left the messages from Edward Cullen. I opened a couple out of curiosity, but they were simply links and instructions. The newest one for me was from my mother, not surprising.

_I have your things. Are you coming back for them or should I just sell the lot? Seth tells me you're happy, and I hope he's right. Still, I'd like to hear it from the horse's mouth. Running off with one of them. I am still in shock. Well you always were your own person, and woe to the fool who tried to stand in your way. _

_And now that you are happy, I'll tell you. That is the reason you and Sam would never have worked. He wasn't willing to stand in your way. You need someone to stop you in your tracks once in a while. Otherwise there isn't give and take. One gives and one takes. I love you, sweetie, but that was one I never could teach you._

_I love you._

Wow, that was insightful. She was absolutely right. Sam wouldn't deny me anything, until he denied me everything. Huh. I really didn't get that before? Did she ever tell me that before? Yeah, she had. When she was trying to make Dad stick to his diet, or go to the doctor. She hadn't used those words, but she'd made the same point. Marriages were partnerships, each had to need the other.

I looked to Marcus, on the sofa now, his eyes on me. I blushed a little and there were lips on my neck as quickly. "I didn't know you were watching me. I thought you were watching the TV."

"I was doing both. You aren't finished," he said seeing my screen. "Don't let me distract you, unless you're ready to be distracted." He grinned wickedly and moved back to the sofa. His whole body glittered and I admired him for a minute until he arched an eyebrow. Right, sooner finished. I turned back to the screen.

_Mom, you know me too well. I found a great glittery rock that is exceptionally good at standing in my way. That's not quite true, and I don't know if we will work. I'm going to try damned hard though. Hold my stuff, yeesh. I didn't pack it up just so you can hock it. We're going to set up somewhere and you can send it to me then. But I think I am going to get Seth to sell my car. I can use the cash to buy something wherever we go. _

_I wish I had a better idea where we were going. Just North and East. I'm going to keep going until the pack falls silent. That's where we'll set up shop. I'm tired of having a bunch of boys in my head. If I'm going to spend a significant portion of my time as a wolf to keep my new mate from killing anyone, I'd rather not have to share my head space. Also, he seems to think Washington is raw and rugged. I want to take him somewhere no one has been. Ever. That's northern Canada if ever I've heard of it._

_Right now, we're in Banff. Mom, you and Charlie have GOT to take a vacation up here. It's bloody gorgeous._

_And yes, Seth told you right. I'm happy. Is it him? Maybe. I don't think that's all of it though. I was happy when I left for Italy too. I just have a new plan for my life, but it was good the way it had been going. Am I happier? I think I am. I have real purpose. That was missing before. _

_Now I'm going to go take some more from him, or give some more to him, or any other disgusting way you want to put it. LOL_

I sent that and opened the next. It was from Renesmee Cullen of all people. Where did she get my address from? Stupid question – her father, obviously.

_I just wanted to thank you again for coming with Jacob to Italy. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been there, or if you hadn't imprinted on Marcus. I don't want to think about how badly it might have ended. I went there expecting to die. Even though I believed my family would follow, I honestly hoped they wouldn't. I went there hoping to make everyone safe. It would have been pointless if everyone ended up fighting anyway. Granted, it ended up being pretty pointless overall._

_I also wanted to apologize for you coming and imprinting on Marcus. You had a life, you had a pack, and you've left them all behind. I'm sorry for what I've cost you. I hope one day it proves to be worth the cost._

Well, I wasn't about to reply to that sappy crap. I moved on to the next; it was from Doug. I was surprised.

_Leah;_

_I hope your family appreciates all you do for them. They are lucky to have someone so willing to sacrifice themselves. I don't hate you for going to your family – that's ridiculous. I do hope I see you again some time._

_Keep in touch,_

_Doug_

I felt a chill on my back just before cold lips found my cheek. Damn him and his quiet step. "They do." he whispered in my ear.

I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me from the chair, slipping my laptop to the floor. "They appreciate everything about you, everything you do. Everything you've given." The words were getting lost in my breasts as he laid me down on the bed again. He continued to stand over me. "Never think I don't. Even though I don't understand what all you've given to be with me, I appreciate all of it. All of you."

I was having trouble focusing on his words. His cold hands held my legs and he pushed into me. His legs collided with the frame and I felt the bed shake. I quivered with it. He thrust again, just as hard. I gasped and my legs tightened on him. His ice was melting quickly as it rubbed against me. My blood was soon boiling. He continued to whisper endearments, but I couldn't hear them against the rush of my blood in my ears, my pulse, my panting breath. I was falling apart again.

How many times could he tear me apart and still rebuild me from what was left? That was what it felt like. Like I crumbled to pieces, and his cold arms scooped them back together just do it all over again. And I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want him not to break me. I would have never said that of Sam. I had been holding so tightly to myself when I was with Sam, but now... now I was nothing, and yet I was everything. I was everything to Marcus. But ME was nothing. It didn't matter who I was. Not because I didn't matter, just because Marcus would take whoever I was.

This was love. I hoped I lived through the next few minutes so that I could really experience my epiphany. As it was, I felt like I was being macerated. My body was being bruised and beaten, even as it writhed in pleasure. My insides were raw with heat and friction, my chest burned from panting, and my hips were turning red from his grip on them.

I didn't ask him to stop; I never even thought of it. I watched him instead; my brain detached from my body. Part of me could still feel the pain and the pleasure, but part of me was revelling in the expression on his face, the need he displayed now. He was aching for what I was giving him. He was as lost in the moment as I was, and his lips were moving again. But it wasn't his prayer this time. It was name. Over and over, my name. I still couldn't hear, but I could see.

Then the moment passed. I was in full faculty again, and I hurt. He was climaxing inside me and I was being crushed to him. I felt bone crack and I screamed.

"Oh no. Leah, Leah." He began to weep as he let go. He pushed me by the shoulders so that my legs were now on the bed too.

Tears of pain were leaking from my eyes. "Come here," I whispered, opening my arms.

He climbed onto the bed, careful not to jostle me. He laid beside me, within my reach. "I never meant. I didn't-"

"Shhh." I stroked his hair while I soothed him. I could already feel the bruises fading. The bone would take longer. "I could have stopped you. I didn't. Just let me have my moment."

He looked at me quizzically.

I took another breath, ragged with pain. "I love you, Marcus."

He was suddenly over me again, placing light kisses over my face, careful not to move me any way.

"You've broken me."

"No, no, please, don't-"

"And you've remade me." I put my hands to his cheeks, making sure he was looking into my eyes. "That day, everything broke away, and it all tied to you. Ever since then you've been doing the same. Breaking me, over and over, and every time, you tie me back together, tighter, better. Tied to you. I love you, Marcus."

He had no answer. He just put his lips very gently to mine again. He held himself there until I was able to move my legs without pain. Then I rolled him over and tried to break him instead. After all, my mother told me to give and take.


	11. Chapter 11

I lay in front of the fire place while Marcus was running his hands slowly over my skin. He'd held them to the fireplace to warm them, thankfully, and now he was smoothing all of the knots I'd accumulated away.

"Do we really have to go tomorrow?" I asked lazily.

"No. We can stay as long as you like."

"I think our meagre funds will deteriorate quickly by that plan. Ah, I shouldn't complain; these parks are beautiful. We can take our time going north through them, if we stay off the main trails. I'd love to see more."

"Then you will," he whispered into my ear.

We'd made love in every way I'd ever imagined, and a few I had never dreamed of. I'd broken a few more bones but they mended easily enough. We'd talked, we'd touched, we'd gotten closer in my non-wolf days. And tomorrow I'd sprout fur again. It was going to be hard to keep all of this out of my head when my brothers returned.

Marcus took me one more time in front of the fireplace before we left the room. He was slow and gentle and so was I. Our hungers were finally sated. We turned over one another, enjoying everywhere our bodies touched. I lost all track of time as we tangled there. Eventually the light through the window was undeniably high and we both knew it was time to leave. I kissed him again and he had to slowly pull me from him.

I sighed as I sat alone on the carpet while he dressed. He would deny me. He knew what we really needed. Somewhere of our own. Somewhere we wouldn't have to leave. And we going to find that place. I rose, showered again, and dressed myself. Not that I'd be wearing clothes much longer.

The trip through the park was uneventful. I simply growled when he started down a human trail and he came back to himself. I didn't know if he was tempted or just curious. In either event, I didn't want him following any of those scents. We climbed right over mountains, found valleys with newly forming wildflowers. I lapped at streams that burst straight from the glaciers that fed them. I watched Marcus glitter like the snow he crunched through. I bounded in ice floes deeper than I stood, leaving a messy trail behind me and barking the whole way. Marcus slogged through, half-buried himself. It was strange to see snow so late in the spring, but we enjoyed and played before moving on.

As we crossed northern Alberta, we found fewer human scents and Marcus went longer between hunts. He also discovered what I had meant about nature here being touched. We crossed many cut blocks, diverted around camps of tree planters. We took to running along gas cut-lines, long unused, thick with grass, but never really reclaimed by the forests on either side.

When we came to the oil sands he choked. "What have they done?"

I phased to answer him. I'd hoped to avoid this area entirely, but hadn't aimed quite far enough north. "They're mining. There is a source of oil in the sand and they extract it."

"Can we go south?"

I looked at him. "Are you sure you want to?"

"I'll hunt first." It would of course take a lot of men to make this type of mark on the landscape. He found a moose while I dressed. In the misty morning, we hiked just out of view of the highway and he shook his head as we passed more and more mines. With the smoke from the refinery stacks, and the blowing sand from the dykes and dunes it looked like an alien world.

"Aro was right to fear humans. If they are willing and able to do this, they'd have no trouble finding a way to get rid of us." I could hear the pain in his voice.

"Let's go. We don't need to stay here." He didn't move, just stood open mouthed watching trucks as large as buildings move across the roads, diggers with buckets large enough to pick up cars pulling away shovel after shovel of sand. And the miles and miles of empty land resulting.

He needed some sign of hope for this poor abused place. I tried to find it for him. "Look, they've already started closing mines there." I pointed to the south where a field of sand was being slowly covered in peat and water. They were attempting to 'make' a fen. As if such a thing could be made by anything other than the creator. At least it didn't look like a crater any longer. It was an improvement.

"It will never be the same though."

"No, but perhaps it will be something as good, just different."

He looked to me and hugged me. "Please tell me I haven't broken you like that."

I chuckled. "No, not like that. Now, we should get out of here before the clouds burn off." We'd been in the area long enough to know the morning cloud cover burned away after a few hours. Marcus would be glittering in the sun that never seemed to hide here. I had never seen so much sunlight before. It only clouded here with morning mist and when weather came. Otherwise the sun shone clear and bright, day after day.

As we crossed Saskatchewan, the days were hot and muggy. I was glad I had Marcus to keep my hair short. I was panting to try to stay cool. Every time we found an actual lake, rather than a bog, I jumped in gratefully. I curled into him every night, in human form, trying to find relief. I wouldn't have guessed it got so hot so far north. And the days never ended! Marcus was a beacon of sparkling light for sixteen hours, then twenty. The sun didn't set so much as dip and come back up again. I realized the winters would be the opposite. Was I sure I could live in a place with no sun for days on end?

Somewhere, in that sweltering heat, I lost the pack. I didn't really notice at first because I was running human as much as I could manage. The fur was still too much. But when I phased during Marcus' next hunt I was alone in my head. I thought maybe it was just coincidence, none of the boys were phased when I was. But the next hunt was the same, and the one after. I'd made it. I'd gone far enough to be alone.

Marcus and I celebrated in one of the many lakes. He decided to show off again. I was just glad the water stayed cool so long. Even so, it wasn't nearly as icy as the first lakes I'd thrown myself into on our trek. Was summer going to end? It was definitely in the dog days, Indian summer. I chuckled at how both referred to me. How unsurprising that my birthday should come at that time, the end of August. Marcus emerged at the sound of my laughter.

"Share the joke?"

"The end of summer is sometimes called the Dog Days of summer."

"For the Sirius star, yes."

"Or an Indian summer."

"I hadn't heard that one."

"Well, my birthday is at the end of August, probably just passed. I was just chuckling at the irony that I should be born in the 'dog days of Indian summer'."

He chuckled, too. "Not ironic, just apt." He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "Happy Birthday."

"Do you even remember when your birthday is?" I asked.

He laughed and shook his head. "No, that was one of the human things I quickly forgot. I remember my names day instead, in March. The day I met you, or near enough."

I smiled at that and wrapped myself more tightly around him, thrilling at the chill he gave. "We'll have a new home to celebrate that in I think."

"I think so, too." He stroked my head as we lingered in the water.

We continued to travel east, looking for even a tiny sign of civilization. Among the lakes and bogs there really was nothing but hunting cabins. Every one of them was deserted for half the year. We ran into more hunters and trappers further east as the trees, well shrubs, started to turn color. I was running wolf again. Summer didn't ease off so much as flee entirely. I was startled when the temperatures plummeted to freezing one night after being so warm for so long. Marcus longed to be able to warm me, but he could only stay away while my coat grew out again. I shivered many nights.

I had to be more careful as the hunters emerged. Autumn was hunting season and they were plentiful. While wolf pelts and meat were not exactly valuable, they wouldn't want me scaring off or taking their prey. Also, they'd quickly realize I was not a normal wolf.

I barely recognized Marcus in the flannel plaid shirts I'd bought for him. He looked so different from the Italian gentleman he had been. Except for his skin color, and the fact that he was a vampire of course, he might have passed for any of the hunters we passed. Especially when he found an abandoned felt cap and started wearing that as well. I snickered more than once thinking of my 'lumberjack'. Fortunately he never asked what I was laughing at. I think the 'wood' jokes would have been endless if the pack were in my head.

Then, abruptly, we hit the ocean. The tundra was cold under my paws and I nudged the duffel to get Marcus to set it down and pull out my clothes. He went back to staring out across the water, as confused as I was. I phased and quickly pulled on a sweater and pants. "What? We can't have reached the ocean. That doesn't make any sense." I tried to remember the maps. I opened my laptop, hoping I'd saved one, even just a generic map of Canada would help. There was one in the cache. "The Bay," I murmured. "It's the Hudson Bay. So... north or south?" I asked with a smile.

"South. You need to warm up."

I chuckled, he was right. Even with my hair hanging down past my chin I was still freezing most nights. I was a timber wolf, not an arctic wolf. I wasn't built for these temperatures, and they were getting worse fast. We had taken to travelling at night just to keep me warm. I could bask in the sun during the day and not shiver while I slept.

It was hard to peel down again. I was sorely tempted to phase in my clothes, but I really didn't have enough to be doing that. As it was, my sweater hadn't hit the lichens before I was on all fours. I was getting faster than ever at that. I was going to rival Jacob soon. I still shivered. I needed to get moving. I trotted a little while Marcus repacked.

I was glad he'd chosen south. It wasn't long before we reached Churchill. It was a tiny town, mostly natives. I would fit right in here. And if Marcus passed himself off as my husband we wouldn't be an oddity at all. It was also secluded. As near as I could tell there wasn't a highway in at all. People must fly in and out. Just then I heard a train rumble through. Or that. I nudged the pack with my nose and Marcus pulled out my clothes for me. I phased and pulled them on as fast as possible. As soon as I had my sweater on he lifted me by the waist to keep my feet off the ice. It was permafrost here. I still couldn't quite believe it. I'd learned but never seen. I pulled on pants, socks and boots. He put me on my feet and pulled off the parka. That was a discovery as well and would be replaced at the first opportunity. Who would leave a parka behind? I was grateful to whoever had.

Marcus had taken a polar bear the day before, so he had no trouble with the population here. He had decided he liked polar bear. Bigger than anything, they kept him going for a week easily. And they were so unused to humans he could almost walk right up to them. As long as he stayed downwind. They bolted as soon as the smelled him. I couldn't really blame them.

We watched the northern lights as we walked into town and looked around. There were very few houses, a couple of shops, an inn. I didn't even want to call it a hotel, it was obviously built like a log cabin and looked far too homey for that name. We got a few odd glances, but hopefully people just assumed we'd come on the train.

"What do you think?" I asked him.

"I think we're home."

We walked in to take a room for the rest of the night.


	12. Chapter 12

I pressed back in my downward dog, relishing the stretch in my hamstrings and calves. I jumped forward into a full bend and slowly raised my hands to look out the window into the sun.

"Am I allowed to interrupt yet?"

I chuckled, bringing my hands before my heart. "Namaste."

"Namaste," he murmured lustily.

The bitch had made a brief appearance our first week in town. I'd spent too much time as the wolf once the weather turned ill for it not to hold some effect. I had phased in our hotel room, ruining one of my few bras, to lunge at Marcus when he made a comment about the sun being ever present. When it was out for less than eight hours a day, I took exception to that view. The sun was disappearing quickly as winter came to the north. It was cold and dark, and I wasn't a big fan of either. He couldn't really escape from me in our small room either, so rather than break anything he stood still and let me take off his arm.

I couldn't believe I'd done it. I phased back instantly and held it in place, kissing both sides of the injury. He chuckled and reminded me that he healed even more easily than I did. But even so, I'd been more eager than ever to lose the bitch. Yoga was always a good outlet. The deep even breathing, the feeling of energy running normally through my body instead of bursting out in waves of heat and then fur. Marcus enjoyed my yoga practice too.

Today he was busy renovating the house. I was surprised he'd noticed me at all. He'd been at work since sundown last night, well afternoon. We'd gotten lucky. There were very few houses in Churchill and they could only be built in the summer when it was possible to work outside. Well unless you were a vampire who didn't care how bone-numbing cold it was. Hence, renovations. One of the few white men in town over the winter, Stan, had a brother who only used his place in the summer. He'd gotten in touch with him and we were here until spring. If we succeeded in the renos he would give us a hand building our place in the summer. That was going to be difficult. Marcus couldn't go around the clock when the sun started shining twenty or more hours a day. On the other hand, if we could get it set up enough to live in, he could finish in the winter.

I'd never guessed an aristocrat, as the Volturi certainly appeared to be, would be so eager to pick up a hammer and nails, But it had been more than idle interest that had him browsing the hardware store all those months ago. He'd picked up the DIY bug and was fixing up Jesse's place very nicely. The bathroom was completely upgraded now and last I'd seen him, Marcus was re-insulating upstairs. You could never have enough insulation around here.

He put his hands over mine in the prayer fold and stepped close enough to reach my lips by bending very slightly. "I need a woman's eye," he told me, turning his hands so he took one of mine. He led me up the stairs.

Apparently he'd finished insulating. He'd hung a new light fixture in the bedroom and repainted. There were definite benefits to never sleeping. The chandelier was flat to the ceiling and studded with many LED lights. It looked like a star field.

"This woman likes it. I don't know what Jesse's wife will say, but I imagine she will too."

I flopped on the bed to admire. It was nice to have a furnished place. Mom was going to see what she could scrounge to send us, but it would probably be almost as thrifty to buy from somewhere closer. As it was, we were carefully avoiding most of Jesse's furniture. I slept on the bed, but that was the only time either of us really spent in this room. We had a mattress on the floor in another room for our amorous endeavours. I didn't want to have to explain how the headboard got bite marks or nonsense like that.

Marcus seemed to trust his control more than I did as he positioned himself over me. His lips met mine and then traced their way over my face. "I'm stuck inside for another three hours. What will I do?" he asked in a pitiful voice.

I laughed out loud.

"I want to marry you," he murmured.

"What?" I started to sit up.

"I want to marry you," he repeated.

"But we just told all the people here we are already married."

"So, we'll get married somewhere else and come back. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, or even next year, but I want to marry you."

That sobered me some. "Oh, well, all right then." I thumped back down, my head still spinning.

"Don't you want to get married?"

"I can't say I've thought about it since... Sam."

"Ah." He kissed my ear and let a cold hand slide under my tank top. "Give it some thought. Let me know what you think, and I'll ask properly."

I chuckled. "I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. You don't get an answer and then ask."

"I suppose you're right. Well, think about it anyway."

"I'm not thinking about much right now, as you well know."

He growled and carried me into the other room.

Three hours later, I was still laying there and he was still kissing me. "I think you should ask me sometime," I told him.

"I thought you weren't thinking right now?" He ran a hand over my sweat glistened torso and made me shiver.

"I've been giving it some serious subconscious consideration."

"Well, then I shall have to make some preparations." His cold tongue traced down my throat and I moaned.

"You could leave now."

"You want me to leave?" He sounded startled and offended.

"I only meant the sun has gone down." I rubbed my nose on his.

"Oh, well, I don't have anywhere else I'd rather be."

"Good."

That evening, I checked the Government of Manitoba's website. I was sure I could find a position here in Churchill that would put even my incomplete education to use. Today wasn't the day. I was starting to lose hope. I was going to wind up working in the cafe. We weren't going to get a lot put together to pay Carlisle back that way.

"What's on your mind?" Marcus asked me when we were in said cafe.

"What usually is?"

He knew how it bothered me to not know how we were going to fend for ourselves. I might not know where I was going to end up, but I usually made sure I could feed myself from day to day. As it was we were pretty much living off the Cullens' good graces. That galled me.

"I'm sure something will come. You know, the men here don't look very agile. I'll bet they could use your yoga instruction."

I laughed trying to picture the hunters and trappers doing yoga.

"I'm serious. I've seen the people coming and going from the town complex. I'll bet they'd love some sort of instructor."

The town complex housed all manner of facilities: the library, a pool, a curling rink. "I'll ask."

"Good. Now, let's go watch those lights dance again."

That was the signal that he'd had enough throat burn for the time being. It was time to get outside at the least, hunt at the worst. It was just outside tonight. He held my hand and led me out to the edge of the bay. "Are you sure you're happy here?" he asked. Not for the first time.

"I'm not unhappy here. I'm just a little scared, that's all."

"I understand. This whole life is new to me. But you make me feel strong." He held his head a little higher and I did the same.

Marcus was right. I hated it when he was right. There was a yoga instructor but she was looking for someone to take some of her classes, especially as winter drew on. She was planning to fly south to some sun. I couldn't blame her. She asked me to lead one of her classes, then another, and then had the town hire me on as second instructor. It wasn't much, just a few hours a week, but it was something.

Marcus was practically living at the hardware store. He had invested, his word not mine, in a set of tools and was making furniture in a shed behind Jesse's place. I was glad he worked out there. The power tools would keep me up all night if he worked in the house. I came and watched him some evenings until I got too cold to stay. My extra heat was good to a point, but -40 was just too cold for anyone, human or part human. It was only those freaky no-longer-humans that could stand it.

Marcus learned to shower before coming into bed with me. I broke my hand the first time and took off his foot the second. He was _too_ cold when he came in from working all night in the shed. On the other hand, he was turning out some excellent pieces. He was definitely kicking my butt in the earnings department. I refused to let it get to me. When it did I reminded myself that he could work twenty-four hours a day. I would never be able to keep up, and I shouldn't try.

Even with all his new projects and studies, he was fascinated with all things electronic; I would still wake on occasion to find him watching me sleep. He claimed he didn't do it often, but I didn't believe him. Every time I woke to find him watching too closely, I just pulled the covers back over my head. He seemed to take that as the signal to make coffee. I had a good vampire, well trained, and he'd learned to brew a good cup of Joe.

When the weather warmed, supplies came in to build 'our' place. We'd bought the lot soon after moving into Jesse's house, but no one was willing to help us start until spring. Marcus knew the basics, but building an entire house was more than he was willing to take on just yet. Jesse came in May with plans, which we adapted slightly, and the knowledge to get us started. Jesse and Stan were always shocked when they came in the morning to see what we had gotten done over the night. But that was less and less as the days shortened.

Our place was small, just four rooms with an attached garage, well shed. Marcus got the outer walls up quickly so that he could work inside until the sun went down. The brothers kept telling him he was crazy and doing things out of order, but he just smiled and didn't argue with them. I followed all of Marcus instructions and tried not to hit my thumb with a hammer. I was _not_ a carpenter, or electrician, or plumber.

Esme Cullen knocked on our door just after I'd finished painting the inside of it. "Um, hello?"

"Leah? Is that you? Your hair has grown out so much. May I come in?"

She was completely wrapped up, big sunhat and glasses, long sleeved coat. She looked a little ridiculous given the temperature, but of course the sun was high in the sky, which it was almost all day right now.

"Of course. Marcus?" I called. When I got no reply. "I think you invited someone?" I knew he had heard me, even though he was in the shed.

"Esme? Did Carlisle come with you?" He came and hugged her. I tried not to sigh. He was so lucky it had been two months since I'd been a wolf last. He was still likely to bring on the bitch at this rate. "Leah, I invited Esme to help you with the decorating. When I told her about the furniture I was building, she wanted to come see it for herself."

How nice. I needed help decorating? My ideas weren't good enough?

He met my eyes and took his arm from around Esme. "Why don't you have a look right now, see how much Leah has already done. We're going to step outside for a minute."

"Yes, that's fine." she took off her coat and laid it in the closet where I hadn't gotten the bar up yet. I ground my teeth.

Marcus took my arm and nearly pulled me out into the yard. "I don't know what I did wrong. Will you tell me?" he asked in his naive way.

I breathed carefully and swung my arms in a wide arc. He set his lips in a worried line. He knew he'd done something. Could he figure it out himself? I gave him another minute.

"You wanted to decorate yourself, your way."

I smiled at him.

"I didn't think of that. I just thought you would like the help. I'm sure she will..."

"No, she'll suggest. She'll do it in a way that anyone would think it was their own idea the whole time. My mother is good at that too. Which is why I'm one of the few who can see it. Unfortunately, knowing I'm being manipulated doesn't help me resist it, and it makes me _mad._"

"Angry?" He sounded hopeful.

I took another deep breath and made another arm circle. "I go into battle. And tonight, you pay." I tried to make my face appear utterly contented. I think that frightened him more. "You continue what you were working on." He had been working on the inside of the shed, wiring I believed.

I came to find Esme looking though a book of paint colors. It wasn't mine. "I saw you hadn't painted this room yet. I was comparing it to the others and wondering what accent color might be best."

"Why don't we lay some carpet?"

"If you'd like."

Marcus found himself chased by a wolf when the sun went down. My bitch needed an outlet. I nipped his heels all the way to the bay and chased him in a good way before paddling back to shore. I was caught off guard when he came around me from the other side. He must have run all the way across the outlet to sneak up on me like that. I howled as he pulled me under the water. Then he tickled me. I don't know how he figured out that that made me phase back, but he had.

"Stop, stop it," I cried through tears, my head above water, held up by him.

"Only if you forgive me," he whispered in my ear.

"Okay, just stop." I blew bubbles in the water as I bent in another peal of giggles.

He held me to his chest while I caught my breath. That was when we saw Esme on the shore. "I've decided to leave early. I hope neither of you mind. I'm leaving on the morning flight. You don't really need my help here."

"You don't have to go," I argued, knowing I was being manipulated into saying so. Marcus didn't release his hold on me.

"Thank you for letting me see your pieces, Marcus. I will send you plans for a few things for my home."

"Certainly," he answered her, putting his mouth to my shoulder now. He wasn't going to get out to see her off? "Send my best to your family."

"Of course. Good bye."

She hadn't even turned when I felt Marcus push into me. I moaned and closed my eyes, hoping she would go. She didn't of course. "I wish the best for you both. I would never have guessed, but you seem well suited to each other."

Marcus starting sliding in and out of me and didn't answer her. He wanted me to do it. "I don't... know if I'd... go that far."

Marcus chuckled very quietly into my ear. "Farther?"

I closed my eyes and groaned quietly.

"Well, I look forward to seeing you again. Perhaps a wedding?"

"Per-haps." My voice rose on the second syllable as he pinched me.

"Yes, well. Good bye."

"Good bye, Esme. Thank you." Marcus finally spoke, thrusting in me all the while.

His fingers were still moving on me as well. Please let her leave this time. She turned away and I started moaning, still trying to be quiet. "You are evil. A bad, bad man." I told him.

"She didn't mind."

"I did!"

"I know." He used his fingers to better effect and I moaned louder. "It made it better."

All the tension oozed out of me as the sun started its return to the sky. I cried loudly for him, putting all the restraint I'd had to use before into my release now. He didn't let me out until the sun had risen over the horizon completely.


	13. Chapter 13

The sun was setting for the last time for a week. I felt like crying. Marcus learned last year what this day meant for me. I did my salutation to the sun while dressed in black. My class would have laughed at me, but I didn't care.

Our house was finished. It had three bedrooms although we only used one. One, the one I was in, was completely bare. It was perfect for my yoga practice. The third was converted to an office. I was completing my degree through correspondence and tended to work in there. I should have my degree in a few months after flying out to take the exams.

Since finishing the house, Marcus had been working more and more on his crafts. He had built a myriad of pieces and all had been bought within weeks of posting the pictures on the internet. He was being sought by many for commissioned work now.

Our relationship was still new. There was so much about him I didn't know, I couldn't guess at. I often felt simple compared to him. He was so old. He had done and seen so much. I was just a reservation girl who had barely set foot in a real city. He was still fascinated with me, although I would never understand why or how.

I held my hands in prayer, watching the red fade from the sky. I would watch until it was gone, until the sky turned purple in endless night.

There was a knock at the door. I came down the stairs to find Marcus already at the door in the arms of a blonde vampire. Her long hair was braided simply, but her clothes were elegant.

"Leah, Leah, come. You have only met her once, I think. She has come from Denali to see us. This is Chelsea."

He still had his arm around her waist and the familiarity bothered me. Her smell was burning my nose. My sun had just disappeared for an entire week and now this? "Hello." I turned to the kitchen and flicked on the tea kettle.

I heard them whispered in the other room. "I wish that you had told me you were coming. Tomorrow would have been a better day."

"I came in the dark; that was easiest."

I breathed slowly, trying to calm myself. Chelsea. She was the one that had held Marcus for so long, tying him to Aro. I closed my eyes to continue my practised breath. Her eyes were bright gold, so I had no quarrel with her. She had come from Denali and was plainly abstaining from human blood. Marcus obviously had no quarrel with her. I'd have to talk with him about that later.

I felt cold arms around me. Quiet as always, I hadn't heard him slip into the kitchen. Cold lips met my nose. "I'm sorry she came today. Why don't you take a hot bath and I'll show her around?"

"Thank you, but I think I'm feeling better now. Even a few hours later would have been better." I sighed. I liked to watch every hint of light recede. It was gone now.

I came around the corner to find Chelsea admiring one of Marcus' chairs. "I apologize. I wasn't prepared to meet anyone today. I'm Leah." I held my hand out to her.

"It is wonderful to meet you, Leah. I am so happy for you and Marcus." Her voice had the expected musical quality. It was very high as well, not quite nasal.

I smiled at her, but it was a bit forced. Marcus was okay, but other vampires still put me on edge. "What brings you?" I asked.

"Well, I had heard you were fully settled and found myself missing Marcus. We have spent many years together. I thought I would bond with the ones who escorted me into this new lifestyle, but, with the exception of Tanya, they all have mates. I find myself unable to tie myself into their family." I quirked an eyebrow. Certainly Chelsea could tie herself into any family. That was what her gift did, didn't it? "I meant a natural tie, of course. I was hoping to find a place here. Or, if not, with Suplicia or Renata, drawing on the older bond we have." She smiled at Marcus and his smile was warm in return. I tried not to scowl.

Marcus squeezed my arm and I reminded myself that he was mine. She was looking to join our family, not take mine from me. I thought about myself here without Marcus. I hadn't been lonely in Seattle, but I was certainly lonelier. Here, I would probably go mad. Could I really blame Chelsea for leaving a group of friends in search of a real family? Could I really welcome her into mine? I wasn't sure. I needed to try, for Marcus' sake if nothing else. It was obvious he was glad to have her here.

"Of course. You can stay with us." I stuttered a little as I said it, betraying my true thoughts. I remembered the smell when Esme Cullen came to visit, the smell of the Cullen house, the smell of the Volturi castle. Was I really willing to have that in my house? All the time? I took a deep breath and forced a smile.

Marcus was surprised by my statement. "Leah?" he asked, looking a little worried.

I met his eyes and my smile warmed. What wouldn't I endure for this man? I decided not to answer that; I'd be frightened by the result. "I'm not thrilled, obviously. But I have a home and a family. I was taught that we open these things to those who need them."

Chelsea was timid. "I appreciate your offer, Leah. I will certainly impose for a little time. I would like to spend time getting to know you. I also want to reacquaint myself with Marcus. I haven't seen this side of him in a very, very long time." She smiled at him again. She was referring to the time when Didyme was still alive, well around.

"I'm going to take you up on that bath idea," I told Marcus. I walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea to take with me. "If you'll excuse me," I said climbing the stairs.

I was able to listen to their conversation while immersed in warm water. I didn't even turn on any lights, wallowing in the dark with my chamomile.

"You look so happy, Marcus. She is obviously good for you."

"She is perfect for me. How can someone so different from Didyme still match me so perfectly?"

"I was wondering the same thing. She is nothing like Didyme."

"It is good to see you again, Chelsea. I have missed you."

"I know. I think it must be an after-effect of tying you for so long. I seem to be permanently tied to you now."

"But no longer artificially. I hope Leah is sincere about opening our family. You are like a sister to me."

"Yes. And so, brother, I must ask. How are you coping with this diet? It seems I err at every opportunity! That was the other reason I came. The Denali clan were happy to accompany me, but inadequate or unwilling to stop me when I took a bad turn. I came through the empty tundra in order to avoid any human contact altogether. I was thrilled to find so few people here."

"That's a small reprieve, I'm afraid. Tours will start up again when the sun returns next week. It is difficult. Leah hunted with me for a time. She was certainly willing to stop me." I heard him chuckle. I snickered too, thinking of how many times I'd sunk my teeth into his marble flesh when my head in his gut didn't turn him from his tracks. That was only the first few months though. I didn't even hunt with him any longer. I'd gone a few times since the winter had come, but as his companion, not his watcher.

"Would she be willing to accompany me? Could you and I hunt together?" Chelsea asked.

"Certainly. Well, I speak for myself, but I imagine Leah would see it as her duty to safeguard the people here while you learn. She takes her inherited duty very seriously. She lives to protect human life. I have not tasted human blood since I met her." He said it with a note of pride. I wondered if it was pride in himself or pride in me. I smiled and sunk a little lower in the water.

"Are you still tempted?" Chelsea asked.

"All the time! But my love for her stops me long before it becomes unbearable. I could never hurt her by betraying her trust that way. She doesn't always hunt with me anymore. A month ago, I chased a tourist back to his bus. He narrowly escaped me. I was so ashamed that I didn't tell her. Yes, I am still tempted."

I sat up with a splash. He'd chased a person? He hadn't caught him, though. I tried to relax. I had a lot to talk with Marcus about.

Their conversation turned to older topics. "Do you miss the others?" Chelsea asked now. "I find myself looking for Aro and Caius all the time."

"I am happy to say I don't miss those two. No, it's really only you I miss. And Didyme, but I'll never stop missing her." His voice was empty. I felt his pain despite the fact he had never shown it to me.

"Even though you have Leah?" Chelsea asked on my behalf.

"Not when she is near, no. When she is with me, I don't look for anyone else."

"How do you stand the smell?"

I laughed out loud, giving myself away.

I heard Marcus snicker. I had always wondered the answer to that question, but now I probably would never get an answer.

"I think someone is listening." Marcus' voice was filled with humour.

"Indeed. Well, I can't thank either of you enough for opening your home to me. If she can stand my smell, I will happily endure hers."

I laughed again. "I'll do my best," I called.

Chelsea's laugh tinkled back to me.

The week of darkness passed and Chelsea stood with me in the yard watching the new sun rising in the south. She echoed my movements in the salutation. "This feels odd," she said.

I laughed as she started to sparkle in the first rays of dawn. "It looks a little odd, but I do too. We're barely clothed and it is freezing out here." We went back into the house before anyone could notice. She followed me into the office and picked up one of my books.

She had been looking through my coursework and thinking that she might like to do something similar, but focusing on families rather than addictions. She had already ordered the introductory course materials for her own correspondence degree.

It still surprised me how quickly Chelsea had fit into our paired routine. I had accompanied the two of them on a hunt in wolf form and taken Chelsea down when she tried to head for an ice fisherman.

"Yes!" she said happily as she rose. "Thank you, Leah." She patted my head and I snapped at her hand. "Sorry," she apologized and then took off after the bear she had been hunting originally.

Since then, she had joined my yoga class, dazzling all the men brave enough to join, and doubling the testosterone quotient as more men signed up. She feigned complete ignorance when Marcus stole off with me up the stairs or into the yard. He only tried that once. The frostbite had been terrible. And now she was looking into taking correspondence classes with me.

Marcus poked his head in the door. "Come and see," he urged.

I smiled and pushed away from the desk. Chelsea followed us to the workshop. There was a wooden bed frame carved to resemble the sloping back of a wolf. Where had he been hiding this? I hadn't seen him working on it. "Marcus! It's amazing."

"You like it?" he asked, putting a hand to one of the ears on the huge head. It wasn't a big bed. It probably fit a single mattress or a child's.

"It's beautiful," I continued to gush, walking around to look at the tail. I laughed when I saw it swung on a hinge, letting it wag.

Chelsea chuckled too. "How sharp are the teeth on this one?" she asked, looking at the head. The white painted fangs were dull of course, but the tongue lolled out on one side.

"Who commissioned this?" I asked.

"No one. I made it for us," he answered.

I laughed loudly and Chelsea joined me. "We won't fit on that bed, Marcus."

"No, but our child might."

I choked on my laugh. Was he serious? I looked to his face. He was serious. I tried to form words, but none came. Chelsea threw her arms around his neck. "What a wonderful idea, Marcus!"

He hugged her and smiled. "You think so? I know Leah would like children. I'm sure I can find somewhere to store it."

I couldn't see them properly. "Leah?" Chelsea asked. "Are you all right, Leah?" She put a cold hand on my arm, shaking me gently. "Why are you crying?"

I put a hand to my cheek. I was crying. "Just – overwhelmed. One thing to have the faintest dream of a thing. Another to see someone actually planning for it." I leaned on one of the wolf's flanks for support.

Marcus came and cupped my cheek. "I know it can't be soon. We're making demands on your nature again. But it will happen, one day." He kissed me. "I'm certain of it."

I'd had one period in the past year, just before Chelsea joined us. That was when he started work on this, I realized now. That was when I had started to hope. How had he known? I looked up to his golden eyes and they sparkled with love. He put cold fingers under my chin, lifting my lips to his.

His kiss was gentle. His sweet, but not quite piercing smell filled my nose. My lips tingled with the chill. I threw my arms around his neck. I clung to the father of my child and refused to let him let me go. I didn't see Chelsea anywhere as he carried me up to our bed.

"I love you, Leah," he whispered as his lips trailed down my neck. The line of ice made me gasp and I tightened the hold my legs had on his hips. "I want to give you that child. I want to make you my wife. Can you bear to wait with me for that day?" He pulled my shirt over my head, his hands soft and barely touching my skin. The coolness raised goosebumps and set my heart pounding.

"Yes. Don't wait too long to make me your wife, though." I growled into his ear as my arms wrapped around his neck again. I grabbed the top of the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

"That wasn't my intention." He put his lips to my breast as he pulled my shorts down my legs and released his own pants.

I panted feeling his icy tongue circle my nipple, his lips curling to suck it into his mouth. The tingling spread down into my belly and thighs. I wrapped my legs back around him as soon as my shorts were off. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me.

Or perhaps I wanted him more. He slid his hand between us, curling his fingers into me. I tightened reflexively, squeezing his fingers in me. They were freezing me, and I was melting them. I remembered the frost bite I had suffered in the yard, but this was more burn, less bite. His thumb rubbed me and I arched with a scream. "Yes."

My nipple was pulled from his mouth and I felt his kiss along my stomach. His tongue in my navel. I kept pulling him to me with my legs. His hand felt divine, but I wanted him.

"Not what you are looking for?" he asked as he curled his fingers to rub the sensitive knot inside me. I bucked against the pillows, convulsing.

"No," I moaned, still throbbing around his hand. He stroked me again, and I felt myself rippling at his touch, my muscles following his fingers in and out of me. "Oh my god." I murmured.

"Let me love you, Leah. Let me love you forever."

"Yes, please." I begged as he continued to rub me to a climax. I pulled his mouth up to me and he climbed onto the bed beside me, meeting my hungry lips with his own.

I moaned against them, rocking my hips against his grip. My grip tightened and slackened. I fell away from his lips gasping for air.

He moaned now and pulled me toward him. His lips were at my neck again and he buried himself in me. I screamed at the sudden icy flash he sent through me. Then my body took over again, my hips swirling on him. "Leah," he murmured into my skin. "You are perfect."

"Never stop loving me." I didn't want to imagine a time or place without him, never again. I wanted him at my side always. I wanted his children. I wanted his heart.

"Never," he agreed.


	14. Chapter 14

I stood on my yoga mat bidding farewell to the sun. Chelsea followed the poses beside me. I couldn't believe she'd been with us a whole year. I also couldn't believe how well the two of us got along.

I had been sure having a vampire besides Marcus in the house was going to be a new form of hell on earth. But it hadn't been. She tended to spend a lot of time outside, in the cafe, watching tours. All of which meant I had to babysit. I got to do most of it human though, so it wasn't so bad.

"It's interesting, the human ties. They are so fragile. They really do break and rebuild so quickly, so easily. That couple there," she pointed to a young Asian pair, "they are not going to survive their stay. But those two," she pointed now to two people not even at the same table, "are going to leave closer than they arrived. It's already forming. I don't know how they don't see it. They've only said a few words to each other, but already they are falling in love." She looked at me now, her golden eyes full of curiosity. "Do you have any idea how much havoc I could raise?" She gave a bright smile. "I won't. I'm just going to tighten the tie between that couple there. They should have a nice vacation after all. What happens when they get home is out of my hands."

I shook my head. What could I say to any of that? We continued our coursework together and I was travelling to Winnipeg with Chelsea, tomorrow as it happened, so that she could take her final exams at the university. She was taking six exams over two days. The proctor thought she was mad, but she had insisted and they had no reason to deny her. I was chaperone. I was, as always, chaperone. Chelsea hadn't had a near miss in the last three months, but Winnipeg was much more densely populated than Churchill. I wouldn't trust Marcus there and he hadn't had a near miss since the one I'd heard about second hand. He'd lost a few fingers temporarily for not telling me. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

I stood in prayer pose watching the light fade from the sky. Chelsea quietly left my side, knowing I would stay until the sky went dark. I hated this day. The beginning of the long night. At least this year I'd be going south. The sun would rise in Winnipeg, the day would just be short.

I drew one last breath and let out a long "Ohm" before bowing. When I turned, I started. Marcus was behind me.

"Sorry. I wouldn't disturb you, but I wanted to give you something."

"Give me something?" I asked. "What would you give me right now?"

"Well, since the sun won't make me sparkle for a few days, I wanted to give you something that would shine in any light."

He got down on one knee and I bit my lip. I wouldn't hate this day any longer.

"Leah, my life hasn't been the same since you came into it, and I wouldn't go back to that old one for anything. Please, stay in my life for the rest of forever. Please, promise you'll let me be in your life for all the days you have. Marry me?" He opened the little box and the ring did sparkle. I wasn't even sure where the light was coming from. My hand shook a little as he slid the ring onto my finger.

It was only then that I realized I hadn't said anything yet. "Yes. Oh yes, of course, Marcus." I threw my arms around his neck. The familiar bone chill went up my arms. I pressed my lips to his and let his almost piercing scent sting my senses.

He let his hands slide into my track pants and pulled them down as he kissed his way along my throat. I could imagine a trail of icy water where his lips passed. His thumbs ran the inside of my thighs as my lips came to his hair. Eventually I couldn't even kiss that as he slid his face lower. He cupped my ass and I sat in his palms while his nose lifted the edge of my shirt to kiss my belly. His thumbs pressed into my joints, urging me open for him. I didn't need much urging. My knees fell wide and he pulled me to him.

My hands tightened in his hair at the first icy kiss on my hot inner lips. "Marcus," I murmured. I'd never taken to calling him Mark. The 'us' was important. His tongue was as clever as ever and had me crying for him in no time.

He stood then and lifted my legs to his hips. He reached around me to unfasten himself, teasing my folds as he did. At the same time his lips and tongue were happily tangling with mine.

"Am I allowed to break you tonight?" he asked.

"Only what I can heal by morning," I murmured, nipping his ear.

He growled and pressed me into one of the walls, driving himself into me. My head thumped and I felt sorry for Chelsea. Not that it wasn't anything she hadn't had to listen to many many times. His hands moved from my back, now that I was pinned, and came to my sides. He held me to the wall as he thrust into me. His cold shaft pierced through me, and I thought steam should be rising from the contrast.

"You are so hot," he agreed as he continued to fuck me into the wall. My hips knocked with each stroke and I was groaning again.

"Yes, Marcus. God." I tightened my hands on his shoulders, feeling my nails snap. I could also feel the bruises forming on my ass, my pubic bone. I didn't care. He felt so good.

Apparently I felt pretty good, too, because I could feel him starting to throb in me. That just swept me further and I started to bear down on him as he bashed me into the wall over and over again.

"Come for me," I begged him.

"Your wish." He speared me to the wall. I was sure I heard dry wall crack. I know I felt bone protest. He opened his mouth in a silent cry as he erupted. He tipped his head toward me, and I quickly put the heel of my hand to his jaw.

"Good thing one of us wasn't completely lost in the moment," I taunted as his mouth closed with a click.

"A very good thing. But I think perhaps, it is your turn to be lost in the moment." He moved very quickly, but very little. My abused body didn't protest this. He wasn't thrusting me into the wall any longer, just holding me there while he moved faster than I could follow. The walls of me tried to catch him, tried to follow, but failed.

I twitched and I twisted. I gritted my teeth and waited for him to stop, to let me squeeze him. He knew how this teased me. He knew how hard it made me come, and he used that fact. I pulled his lip into my mouth and bit it.

He growled and speared me again. I gasped and groaned as the ripples ran through me. I clutched his shoulders and ducked my head, my whole body tensing. "Yes, Leah," he whispered. I came undone.

* * *

Chelsea and I rode the train in the dark, arriving in Winnipeg mid-morning. The sun had topped the horizon, but the buildings gave ample shadows for Chelsea to navigate. With the hood of her ski jacket up, someone would have to be looking right into her face to notice that she sparkled like the snow.

I walked with her into the arts' building and found where she was to write her exams. We both took one look at the south facing windows and turned back to the proctor.

"I have a skin condition that makes me sensitive to sunlight," Chelsea explained. "Is there another room I might use?"

"Of course," the proctor agreed and moved her to a grad student office that was unoccupied. It was also windowless. The proctor was thrilled because her cube was adjacent and she could work while administering the exam.

"I'll be back at four," I told Chelsea.

I walked to the government offices. I had arranged an interview while I was in town. I really wanted to work with addicts who weren't hooked on blood. Chelsea seemed to be doing really well, but both she and Marcus complained of discomfort among larger groups of humans. I tried to equate this to an alcoholic going to a bar with his friends. It wasn't something they ever _needed _to be comfortable doing. Obviously, their lives would be easier if I could help them through this part. Still, working with someone with a 'normal' problem, could be nice.

"Hello. I'm Leah Clearwater. I'm here to see Frank Lambert?" I asked at reception.

"Of course. He's the office at the end of the cubes." The woman rose and pointed down the corridor created by false walls. Ick. I would never be cut out to work in an office building. The town complex had open atrium for AA meetings and other such groups.

Frank Lambert's office had a nice view of the river. I looked at it through the windows separating us before knocking on the door.

"Come in," he called.

"Hello. Mr. Lambert. I'm Leah Clearwater. I asked you to meet with me today."

"Yes, Miss Clearwater."

"Mrs," I corrected. My engagement ring over the plain band I'd worn since arriving in Churchill sparkled as I noticed it.

"Mrs," he said with a smile. "Please sit. Tell me what brings you to see me."

"I have been hoping to put my education and skills to use in my new hometown of Churchill. I noticed the Province doesn't have many programs for addictions there and was hoping that I might be able to offer my services. On some sort of contracted basis, perhaps?" I had no idea how Canadian government agencies handled such things. I just knew there were never any postings for Churchill.

"You're living in Churchill?" he asked. "May I ask what brought you there?"

"The midnight sun?" I said with a smile. "In all honesty, the scenery and the people. I was travelling and found the community most welcoming, but I know the Dene do have some individuals who could use someone like me." I referred to the northern Indian band. "I've tried to help those I can, but an official capacity would certainly help me reach more."

"You have been working already?"

I nodded. "I have met with some elders who have guided me to a few I was able to consult with. They were all one-on-one though. I can't help very many people that way." I pulled a folder from my bag and slid it across Lambert's desk. "That's the numbers of some of the people I have worked with. Nathan Fox, Alex Cyrpien, George Lamoreaux. They've all agreed to answer any questions you might have regarding me." All three were alcoholics. All three were recovering.

The interview continued for another thirty minutes with me recounting my tactics, my successes, my failures. I even used a few of the experiences I had had with Chelsea and Marcus. He took them with the others and smiled. "I think you definitely have a calling to this type of work, Leah. You seem drawn to help people who are unable to help themselves. I will keep your information and talk with the department head. I'm sure we can arrange something."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I rose and shook his hand again before leaving.

Chelsea wasn't finished when I returned so I headed for the library and read some journal articles while I waited. I photocopied a couple I thought would be useful. I grabbed food before returning to Chelsea. She had just finished.

"What would you like to do tonight?" she asked me.

"Something social," I admitted. "I'm starting to feel like recluse."

She laughed. "Fair enough. What would you suggest? A club?"

A club. I had never been one for clubbing, but it sounded like a good idea. "Sure. But we'll have to pick me up something to wear. I didn't pack anything to wear out."

Chelsea grinned broadly. "Oh, I'm sure we'll find something good." She led me to the nearest shopping center.

An hour later, I was dressed in an ivory halter top and hip-hugger leather pants, red. "Really?" I asked her when I tried them on.

"Really," Chelsea said with a nod. She had actually packed something for an evening out. It was a pink sequined dress. "Marcus is going to be so jealous he wasn't here for this."

"Why?"

"Didn't you look in the mirror? You are delicious looking, Leah." She smacked her lips and I smacked her. She laughed. "Let's go break some hearts." She hooked my arm and led me from our hotel.

The club was already bustling when we got in. I ordered a shot and slammed it quick so Chelsea wouldn't be waiting on me. There wasn't much point in me drinking either, but it would get me on the floor. Once there, I'd probably stay. I loved to dance, even if I was a bit self-conscious.

Chelsea chuckled. "Don't rush on my account."

"Just need the courage," I explained. "Outta my way," I growled and charged the dance floor.

We gathered a collection of boys very quickly, hardly surprising with Chelsea around. I left her at one point to get another shot. She was looking a little desperate when I came back. "Do you know what those boys want?"

"Do they want you to eat them?" I asked with a huge grin.

"I think they do. We should go before I consider granting their wishes."

"No problem," I agreed and we tailed it out of there. "You were really tempted?" I asked when we were back on the street.

"Not so much. But, the vampires in Denali, well not Kate anymore, they... they had relationships with humans. I... I was starting to be tempted to try, but I know I'm not ready for that. I'd kill them for sure."

I nodded and tried not to be grossed out of my mind. "But you'd like to try, someday?" I verified.

"Yeah. I think so. I mean, it's not like I'm going to be running into a lot of male vampires, is it?"

I chuckled. "I suppose not. Did they tell you much? In Denali?"

Chelsea shook her head. "Mostly they just told me they did. Tanya didn't 'bring anyone home' while I was there. She said it's a tricky thing to learn, though. She had some... near misses."

And I was getting grossed out. I needed to work past that. In my line of work I was going to hear things that were sickening. I took a breath of cold night air. "It was just a matter of practice," I assumed.

"Exactly. She still has the odd broken bone, I'm sure you understand that," she nudged me and I tried not to scowl. "But all of her lovers in the last decade were able to at least limp home."

I chuckled with her at that image. Some poor man beat up by the pretty lady. Of course he wouldn't know she could tear him limb from limb in less than ten seconds.

"You thought at all about the wedding? I know it's only been a day, but-"

"A little," I admitted. "Mostly just that I'd like to have it at home, y'know? With Mom and Seth and the pack. That would be nice."

"That sounds nice. Are you thinking sooner or later? Spring or fall?" Her gold eyes rested on me, and I shrugged.

"I hadn't gotten that far in the planning yet."

Chelsea suddenly bobbed up and down on her toes. "I'm so happy for you two," she squealed.

I laughed. "Did someone slip you something in there?" I looked over my shoulder back to the club several blocks away now.

She laughed too. "No. Just excited. I can't wait to help you plan." I cringed at the thought. On the other hand, I'd never thrown a party, I'd better take all the help I could get.

So I spent the next day, while Chelsea wrote more exams, looking at wedding shops because I'm a glutton for punishment. Everything was so... so girly. I couldn't stand any of it. All the shop keepers were very helpful, and I drilled them on everything surrounding a wedding. They gave me cards with addresses for bakers, invitations, DJs. I was completely overwhelmed. I decided to look at invitations. I could certainly get those from Winnipeg. When I saw the size of the sample book I almost ducked out again. How did women do this?

That was when I found the wedding planner. She was in the same shop and saw my look of terror. "What's the date?" she asked me. She put her pen down and pulled out her card from her black portfolio.

"I don't have one yet," I admitted bashfully.

"My name is Sonya," she said handing me the card with a pair of silver rings on it. "Many women find they either don't have the time or inclination to put together the wedding they want. Also, most have never had to throw a wedding. That's what we're for."

I nodded. "Well, I'm planning on getting married in Washington, so..."

She shook her head. "No problem, keep the card. You might want me for a day or two to help with little things. Give me a call, I'm happy to help."

"Thanks," I mumbled, pocketing her card.

She watched over my shoulder as I flipped through the gigantic book. She noticed which ones I stopped on. "Here," she said pulling a different book forward and flipping to a section. "You'll find what you want in here."

She was right. These were much less florid, simple, neat. They had class without being presumptuous. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"There's a reason this is my job," she said rolling her brown eyes.

"Right," I smiled. "What do you charge anyway?"

"Depends. For a whole wedding I'll usually do a commission. For you, I'd probably do an hourly, as you'd only need me once in a while, but I could save you a lot of time."

"I see that." I looked through another few pages. "I really like this one," I fingered an ivory invitation with dark blue lettering.

She looked with me, then flipped three pages and found another on the same paper in a different color and font. She flipped to a third that I also liked. "Either of those better?" she asked.

"No, and now you made the choice harder," I grumbled.

She laughed. "Well you should make an informed choice, shouldn't you? Do you know how many you're inviting?"

I shook my head. "An idea. Probably a hundred or so. Most of my reservation will show up whether they get an invite or not," I said with a snort. "But at least that many that I'd want to invite."

"What about the groom's side."

I nodded. "He probably has a few he'd want on the list too. He doesn't have a lot of family though."

"Well... I'm sorry, I never did catch your name."

"Leah."

"Well, Leah, be sure to give me a call or email when you have more details. I can help with websites and online bookings, too."

I smiled at Sonya, she was pushy, but in her line of work she probably had to be. "I'll remember."

When we got off the train the next day, I called my Mom. "Guess what."

"You're pregnant," she dead-panned.

"Well, there goes the surprise." I kept my voice as flat.

"Really?" She got excited now.

"No! Geez, Mom. I'm engaged though."

"Really?" It was only slightly less enthusiastic.

"Really. I'd like to have it on the res. Think you can help be my go-between?"

"Of course! Oh honey, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Mom." I noticed the vampires being nosey in the doorway. I made a shooing motion and they at least went around the corner.

I made arrangements with Mom to start planning for a wedding in the spring. I thought holding it on Marcus' name day would be nice. It was a special day with him. We'd had a little celebration with Chelsea this year, polar bear and ptarmigan, fun times. Well, they enjoyed it, which was the point. The ptarmigan wasn't eaten, just chased. They suggested I take it home and roast it, but that was just silly. They were actually rather small birds. They told me stories all day about Volturi celebrations, ones that didn't involve human blood.

Plans moved ahead, and I asked Sonya to order the invitations and have them shipped to me. I was glad I hadn't done much more planning than that. In the middle of February, one month to the big day, we got a surprise.

Chelsea opened the door. "Hello? Suplicia! Renata!"

I closed my eyes and almost cried. Two new vampires in my home. It was going to stink to high heaven in here.

I heard Marcus greet and welcome them as well. I seriously considered running away.

"What is that smell?"

That did it. I pulled off my clothes and phased in the house. I snarled as I charged down the stairs. The brunette backed out into the night and ran. The blonde was trampled by my paws. The brunette stopped at the edge of the town and turned to me.

"No. You are one. You cannot hurt me." She closed her eyes though, she was still afraid.

I ran for her and was past her without realizing. She was the shifty one. I turned back and walked up to her slowly. She hadn't turned. I got within reach of her back and huffed. She flinched. I coughed a chuckle. I stuck my nose in her hair and exhaled, sending it over her shoulders.

"Ewww. That smell." She ran again, back to the house this time. I coughed another laugh and chased after her. I ran straight for her and was suddenly past her again, but this time I used it to get into the house and up the stairs. I phased back and dressed.

"Well, what has the wind blown our way today?" I asked with a smirk as I descended.

Suplicia was still trying to straighten herself out. She scowled at me. "You replaced Didyme with this? Your standards have fallen, Marcus." The blonde was trying to get all the hair out of her face.

I bared teeth at her.

Chelsea frowned at me now. "Leah, I know they didn't make the best impression..."

"Whatever," I grumbled. "Marcus. Start work on an outbuilding for us please? I don't want to share a house with this many vampires." I climbed the stairs once more.

Marcus followed me into our bedroom. "Leah?"

I was laying on my stomach reading a journal article. After photocopying three articles, I'd decided to subscribe to it. "Yeah?"

"I know we're imposing on you."

"Yeah." I really didn't want to talk about this. They were here; they were going to stay here, and I was going to make sure no one got killed. Nothing new.

He rubbed a hand down my back and the chill through my sweater made goosebumps rise. I closed my eyes and dropped the periodical. "It's going to reek of them in here. I don't know if I can take it." I shook my head on my arms.

His hand made circles on my spine, starting at my neck and working down. "I will buy supplies for a new building tomorrow, all right? I want you to be as comfortable as you can be."

The tears that had been threatening since I heard their voices broke through. "I'm sorry, Leah." His lips found the back of my neck as his hands moved on my shoulders, squeezing and smoothing, squeezing and smoothing.

I turned my head to him. "We're going to have to back up the wedding." Another fat tear rolled down my nose.

He kissed it. "We don't have to. They'll come with us."

I shook my head again. "I'm not going to be ready."

His hands stopped their gentle manipulations. They began again after a moment. "Is it something I can help with?"

"Yes and no." I rolled onto my side. "I just phased in our house and trampled two of your friends. Apparently I'm not as recovered as I like to think."

"Leah, no one holds-"

"_I_ hold it against me, Marcus. I want to be a woman, not a bitch. Being antagonized is not an excuse." I rolled onto my back and put my palms to my eyes. "I want to be a woman."

"You are a woman," he whispered in my ear. He ran his hand over my collarbone, my chest, my belly, between my legs. "You are a beautiful woman. You are no bitch. It is our fault, Chelsea and I. We've made you be that again. I'm sorry." He kissed me as his hand slid into my pants. I hadn't put anything on under them when I redressed so quickly. I gasped at his freezing touch.

"Marcus." I closed my eyes as I pulled my hands down, one to his wrist. I pulled his hand out of my pants. "That's not going to make it better."

He nodded, his cold nose rubbing on mine. I opened my eyes and saw the concern and love in his. I felt tears coming again. "I'm trying so hard," I told him. "I was getting along really well with Chelsea. Why did I snap? I don't understand."

"I do." I flinched at the voice outside our door.

"Come in, Chelsea," I said with a sigh.

"It's Suplicia," she said as she entered. "You saw it, didn't you, Marcus? I'm trying to tweak it now, but I don't think I should. If we're going to live together, it would be better to have real bonds."

"What. What did you see?" I was curious now. I sat up.

"There's... a negative bond. I've never seen such a thing before." He shook his head. "It's like you naturally repel each other. I don't understand."

I nodded. It made sense. I had run after Renata, but I didn't have any real ill will toward her. Trampling Suplicia had been my goal. "Do you think it has to do with the pack watching her? Did they, I don't know, mark her somehow?"

Chelsea and Marcus looked at each other. They shrugged. "Maybe that's it." Chelsea came in and sat beside me. "Do you want me to try to erase it? At least in the short term? Would it make you feel better?"

I chuckled. "Well, I don't know that we need go that far. Let's see if it straightens itself out in a week. If it doesn't, I'll take you up on that offer."

Chelsea smiled and nodded. "With that, I'll leave you to what you were discussing before I rudely interrupted. I don't think you're a bitch, Leah." She rolled her eyes.

"I know you don't. Thank you, Chelsea."

She closed the door behind her. Marcus stroked my cheek. "Feeling better?"

I shrugged. "A little, I guess. I still think I should have better control. You know, there isn't a year on those invitations." I smiled now. "We could just do this another year."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "This isn't because you don't want to marry me is it?"

"What? Of course not!" I was shocked. Where could he have gotten that idea from?

"Or that you don't want to have a wedding? As you pointed out, to the people here we already are married."

I kissed him now, trying to stop the words. "I am looking forward to my mother walking me down the aisle." That was something we had worked out over the phone. "I want to see you waiting for me at the end of it. I love you, Marcus. But in that dream, I'm in complete control of myself. Wouldn't it ruin everything if the bitch shows up that day? It's all right, Marcus. Neither of us is getting older," I reminded him, smiling. "I can wait a little longer, if you can."

He kissed me again. "I've waited so long for you. I can wait a little longer."

I leaned back as he crawled over me. I put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He resisted, slipping his hands under my sweater. He removed it and my pants easily. I was still working on his shirt. He continued to kiss me, making my fingers slip. I gave up on the shirt and reached down to his waist instead. He chuckled against my mouth and rested his forehead on mine. "I love you so much, Leah."

He finally helped me by removing the offending clothing. His icy body against mine soothed the burning under my skin. My blood rushing was calmed by his strong arms around me. "Never let me go," I begged him.

"Never," he agreed willingly. He was suddenly in me and I gasped. "I will hold you forever."

I sighed in pleasure that wasn't entirely physical. My heart felt full.

"Is the bitch in heat?" I heard from somewhere in the house.

Poor Marcus. He was suddenly kicked across the room by paws and I stormed down the stairs on four limbs. This time I didn't stop short of taking the blonde's arms.


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks to Mopstyle and Regina for helping me out of the corner I wrote myself into in this chapter. Also thanks to my ever present and timely beta, Sharebear.  
_

"Okay, Chelsea. This has gone on long enough. They aren't working it out between them. You have to do something. Before one of them kills the other."

I listened to Marcus downstairs. Renata and Suplicia would be able to hear him too, wherever they were lurking in the house. I resented not being able to control myself. I was a woman, not a bitch, but that leech could summon the bitch as easily as Marcus could banish her. She was driving me insane. It had been four weeks since they arrived on my door step. My wedding would have been tomorrow if we hadn't postponed it, indefinitely. I was really glad I had now. It was almost guaranteed she'd make me destroy my dress. I'd kept that. It would fit in two years as well as now. It would fit in twenty years as well as now if I kept phasing, which it seemed I would.

Marcus was right to worry for us. I'd completely dismembered Lucia, as we were calling her in public, no less than four times. I'd even gone scrounging for a lighter in town when Marcus came and stopped me. She had bitten me once. Marcus had been able to draw the venom before it could poison me, but that could have easily been the end of me. She's also broken many more bones than Marcus. I'd missed a week of yoga while my leg knit itself back together.

I tried. I really did. I would attempt to start polite conversation when we went hunting with Renata. Sometimes she would take offence at my questions. Sometimes I took offence at her answers. Sometimes we'd just step on the others' toes. Sometimes we didn't bother to try, and those were the best fights. Those were the ones that ended in broken bones and dismemberment, but not before we each got a good five or ten minutes of bickering out of our systems.

Even though the bitch burned in me and I felt her rippling down my spine, I felt _good_ fighting with Lucia. There was a sense of rightness to it. As though, I were ridding the world of the worst of all creatures. Of course, I wasn't. I didn't feel guilty for attacking Lucia or defending when she attacked me, but I knew that I shouldn't do it. I kept wanting her to attack a human so I'd have a reason to tear her apart instead of the excuses I kept giving myself. She never did though. As far as I could tell, she wasn't even as tempted as the others.

"I know, Marcus. I am trying."

"You already are? How long?"

"I've been trying to break it for the last week."

The last week. I hadn't actually dismembered her last week, and she'd only broken my arm. But we'd had twice as many spitting matches as the week before. I smiled remembering them. They really did make me feel good. There was something very cathartic about laying all my frustration, all my anger, all my hate on her. I wondered if it was the same for her. If it was, it wasn't surprising we were constantly egging the other on.

"What are we going to do?" Marcus moaned. "Split up? The out building isn't anywhere near finished, but maybe we can find a hunting shack somewhere."

I came down the stairs. "We aren't going to kill each other." I rolled my eyes. "The out building will be fine when it's finished. And I'm not leaving Renata and Suplicia here alone. I'm still guarding Churchill."

I met his golden eyes and made sure he understood me. I was not going to leave vampires, who had fed on humans for centuries, alone in a town only two years after taking on their new diet. There was no way.

He nodded sadly. "Well, what should we do then?" he asked with another sigh.

"I'll help with the building. Getting out from under the same roof will help."

"I will help, too." Suplicia came out of the office which I never used any more. I'd taken all of my files and books to the yoga room. The office reeked.

"You will? But you hate manual labour," Marcus argued.

"She is right. The sooner it is done the better."

Hold the phone. Did she just say I was right? My heart did a victory lap.

"So, foreman, lead the way." I pulled him out the door. The sun was up, but a spring squall was blowing in, so there was a bit of cloud cover. He set me to drywall, something I'd done on our house. He worked along side Lucia, pulling wiring through the walls opposite me.

He stepped out to pick up the electrical boxes which left just Suplicia and me in the room. Not wise.

"I don't understand how he can stand doing this. It's so... menial," she whined.

"I don't understand it, either. I wouldn't have figured him for a carpenter." He did a lot more than that, but working with wood was still his favourite past-time. My words were a little garbled by the nails in my mouth. I finished nailing up the piece I was working on and went to get the next. It wasn't heavy, just awkward. "Give me a hand with this?"

She clapped.

That irritated me more than anything. My lips folded back and I growled. I took the edge of the gypsum and swung it. She dodged and laughed at me. But now the piece was pointed at where I needed it for the wall.

"Thanks, Lucy." She hated when I called her that. She wasn't a huge fan of Lucia, but she accepted it. Lucy made her bat-shit crazy. I watched her fume as I pushed the piece into place.

Marcus returned then. I smiled at him. So did she. Then we scowled at each other. He looked honestly surprised. Probably that there weren't holes in any of the walls. I went back to nailing up drywall.

The sun had set when I yawned. "I think I'm done for the day."

Lucy muttered something I tried to ignore. For once I succeeded, maybe things _were_ working out between us. Maybe Chelsea was finally breaking down this anti-bond. I could almost see it. Some black thing that, rather than pulled, pushed. Something that made snapping at her all the more satisfying.

"Come with me?" I asked Marcus.

He cocked an eyebrow. He wasn't actually questioning me, was he?

"Why don't you go? I'll be right behind you. I'll get Suplicia started on shingling.

I sighed and wandered off. Lucy was ginning at me. I snapped my teeth in her direction, making her jump.

"Leah," Marcus growled.

"Okay, I'll save the biting for you." I put a seductive smile on my lips and watched him melt again. God, it was nice to have that kind of power over him. I turned and left him with Lucy.

I passed Renata in the house. "How's it coming over there?" she asked. She had taken up a part-time job with one of the hotels, cleaning rooms of all things. She said she liked to acclimatize to the smell with no actual blood nearby. I didn't argue it. She worked alone, so she didn't need a sitter, and it kept her busy for a few hours a day. Now she was folding my sheets. What the hell?

"It's good. We have the dry wall and wiring done. The floors are next I think. Marcus is setting Lucia up on the roof to shingle now."

"Do you think it'll take two of us?" she asked, creasing the sheet in a perfect line.

"You don't have to do that," I told her, taking the sheet.

"I know. I like lines." She smiled.

I shook my head. "Then you should definitely help shingle. Lots and lots of lines." I smiled at her. She nodded and moved past me out the door.

Chelsea was in full lotus in the yoga room. "Can I talk to you?" I asked her.

"Of course, come in."

I folded myself into half-lotus beside her. I was still in jeans. "Is there any change between Lucia and me? We just jabbed one another without fists flying. That's good, right?"

Chelsea chuckled at me. "Yes, that's good." She straightened her legs out in front of her. "There isn't any change in that bond. It's still there; it's still dark. If anything, it's pushing less. Did you feel that before?" she asked me. "Could you feel it pushing the two of you apart?"

"Yep, but pulling too, which is why I kept lunging at her."

Chelsea nodded. "It isn't doing that anymore. Just sitting." She bended full over her legs and then sat back up, leaning onto her palms behind her. "What are we doing tomorrow?" she asked.

"I thought another game of Ptarmigan tag would suit."

She laughed. "Ptarmigan tag it is! God those little birds are funny to watch."

It was true. They had an odd way of walking, being relatives of turkeys and chickens. They weren't that fast though, so most of the tagging was us trying to stop each other from getting the bird first. We hadn't played with Suplicia and Renata yet. I wondered what that would be like.

"Thanks, Chelsea. I'm heading for bed."

"Good night, Leah."

I stripped down and did a sun salutation of my own before Marcus found me. He came behind me and put his hands over mine in prayer. He tipped his head down to put his mouth to my ear. "You look good enough to eat."

I turned in fake horror, my hands going to my throat. He dove between my legs though. "That's not what I thirst for," he murmured against my skin.

My legs didn't hold me long. He'd gotten far too good at pinching and pulling the sensitive skin of my groin. I was burning even as my lower lips began to numb with the chill of his mouth. His tongue ran one long line over the length of me and I shivered, collapsing on him. He caught me easily in his hands and carried me to the bed.

"Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me," he murmured.

I laughed at him. "Happy names day." It wasn't until tomorrow, but still. "I'm sorry I didn't wrap it," I teased running a hand down my chest, my abdomen, to my crotch.

He growled and popped the buttons to pull off his shirt. I clicked my tongue. I hated mending. He was a little more careful with his pants. At least he didn't strip the zipper, those were a bitch to fix. He decided to work his way up his present, giving me another chilly kiss between my legs before slowly making his way to my navel. I squealed when stuck his tongue in and I tugged on his hair. I squirmed in anticipation as his mouth came to my breasts. I could feel him, hard, so close to my entrance. I shifted and he slapped the outside of my thigh. I gasped and stopped moving.

I moaned as he moved the hand to my nipple, pinching it and pulling very slightly. Then he pinched harder and I clutched at his hair again, crushing him to my right breast which he continued to devour. I felt his teeth grazing so carefully on my skin. It made me shiver in a way completely different from his cold touch. It was fear. Fear and trust. I knew he wouldn't bite me; I knew he wouldn't break the skin. I knew my nerves raged when I felt that razor touch. I cried for him then and bucked my hips to his abs. He moved between my legs, rubbing me. I groaned and screamed as he pinched me again, one nipple with fingers, one with lips. I arched my whole back, pressing my breasts into him as well as my hips.

"Happy birthday to Marcus." He was still singing. What a dork. My eyes rolled even as my brain fought to hold onto the funny thought. I tried to laugh, but it was stuttered and shaky.

"You sound divine." His lips moved to my throat now, and I turned my head from him, exposing it. He ran his teeth here, too, and I shuddered even more convulsively. So dangerous, so hot. I grabbed his ass and pressed myself to him. His shaft rubbed the inside of my thigh. He was so close. He just needed to come up that half inch. Or I could slide down...

I tried and was halted with a hand circling my thigh, holding me in place. I whined in frustration and ground against him. He continued to lick and suck my neck. I continued to thrash as much as he allowed. Tonight was for him to play. I'd have my fun at his expense another night. He was enjoying himself.

"Happy birthday to me." He thrust into me on the last syllable and I almost lost it on him right then. I clung to him, quivering.

"Yes, Leah. You can come for me. And then again," he kissed me, "and again," his lips didn't leave mine, "and again."

I moaned and knew how true it was. So I obeyed. I let my insides clench and release in volatile thrusts. I let my eyes roll and my hands scrabble on his back. He simply held me and waited. When my quivering stopped he started moving. He was so good at this. He claimed it had been a long time between Didyme and me, but he remembered everything, and he'd definitely picked up some new tricks along the way. I was putty in his hands, and he moulded me in all the best ways. I built slowly with each of his careful deep thrusts, my breath following his movement. My hips rose and fell to meet his and he pulled up one of my knees, striking deeper, harder. I felt myself bruising and only wanted more. He gave. I found myself jerking on him a second time as he held my leg tightly, not giving me an inch of mobility. All of my movements were internal and all of them felt divine. He twitched inside me and sent me spiralling in even higher pleasure.

He let me rest a little after that one, curling beside me and letting his chill body cool my overheated, oversensitive skin. "You always know just what to get me," he teased.

I laughed. "I did get you a _real_ present."

His hand stopped its gentle circles on my belly and then resumed. "You didn't need to do that."

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously, I didn't _need_ to. I wanted to, so I did." I shrugged. "It's not big or expensive or anything. I mean, we buy things together all the time."

"Now I'm curious," he murmured pulling my earlobe with his teeth. I turned and rolled on top of him.

"Well, if you want to know before tomorrow, you can always torture Chelsea until she tells you." I sat back letting myself sink over him. We both groaned at the exquisite feeling of being connected. "I'm not going to tell you a thing." I sat back and leaned on my wrists, not moving, just squeezing him with my kegals.

"You are a demon woman," he told me, starting to sit up. I put a foot on his chest, intending to push him down. He took the hint and didn't rise. I ran a hand down myself while he watched. My insides squeezed again, this time not entirely voluntarily. I found my clit and gave it a quick pass. His eyes bulged as mine narrowed, everything turning a shade of pink for a moment. I took a deep breath and did it again.

He growled and sat up, holding my legs to him. I fell back, my head on the bed between where his legs had been. He was on his knees now, still holding me by the hips. I gripped the sheets in my fingers as he started fucking me with abandon. My lower back was going to give me grief for a few hours, but it was worth it. He dropped one my hips and moved his hand to my breast, pinching and rolling the nipple. I screamed for him. He thrust harder, bringing his hand lower and brushing my clit himself. I screamed again. "Leah," he whispered, and I lost it.

He let me sleep after that. I woke to find him dressed and watching me.

"Happy birthday," I said sleepily.

He kissed my cheek. "Thank you. Good morning."

I yawned and stretched. Then I grabbed the mug on the nightstand. I had it good. I sipped the still steaming coffee. I must have made waking up motions for him to have it brewed and up here already. "How was your night?"

"Lovely. The ladies have the new place shingled and plumbed. We'll be able to move in sooner than we hoped."

I sighed with relief. Three vampires that weren't Marcus really made this place stink. He watched me as I dressed. I made sure to choose light fabrics. Although it was still cold enough for most humans to want layers, I wanted speed today, and it was warm enough that I didn't really need anything on. I always got a little self-conscious when he watched me dress. Never when I was undressing, which was, of course, more common. I didn't quite understand it. Still, he just licked his lips. I shook my head and pulled on my socks.

"Ptarmigan tag?" I asked him.

"Yes, Chelsea said something about that last night. The ladies all know the rules."

"All right. Is it cloudy enough?" I peeked outside. There were clouds around, but at the moment the sun was bright and clear, so clear in fact that I could see sundogs. We'd have to sneak out or wait for the clouds to cover. I padded down the stairs, maybe the clouds would move while I got myself some breakfast.

Lucy was in the kitchen. I narrowed my eyes. This was not a room I liked the other vampires in. They had no need of anything in here, and their smell made everything unappetizing. "What are you looking for?" I asked as she poked in my cupboards.

"Salt," she said.

I ripped open a door and thrust the box at her. "Out."

"What if I don't want to leave?"

"What if I don't want you to stay?"

We growled at one another for a second before she slipped past me and out the back door. I had no idea what she wanted salt for and didn't care as long as she stayed out of my kitchen. I fried up eggs and made toast, humming to myself. I caught Lucy's stench just before the box thumped on the counter spilling all over my frying pan. The smell of salt burning on the element scorched my nose.

I took the spatula in my hand and threw it at Lucy. It actually wrapped it's aluminum handle around her neck. I started laughing. It looked like some really odd piece of jewelry. She caught her reflection in the shiny metal surface of the fridge and chuckled too. Then she stopped abruptly, pulled the utensil off and threw it into my pan.

I growled as I turned, but she had left the room. I made do with only toast. I didn't even finish as the clouds rolled in halfway through the second piece. I pulled on shoes and ran after the group in the temporary shade.

We made it out of sight of Churchill before the clouds broke again, blinding me slightly as my friends threw off reflections. Luckily, that just flushed us out a nice plump male bird, his head bobbing and he skittered across the ice.

"Game on!" I cried running after him. Marcus collided with me, sending me skittering across the ice.

Chelsea made a bee-line but was quickly tackled by Renata who jumped on her back. Suplicia circled, appearing to stalk the bird, but Marcus kicked out her legs and turned back to the waddling chicken.

This game was so ridiculous. We must look like such freaks to anyone who saw us, and that was disregarding the freaky reflective skin and super speed - at normal speed it would look funny.

Renata was nearing the ptarmigan's tail. I tried to catch her, but her shield threw me off. Marcus tried to tackle her and was thrown off as well. She scooped up the bird and cradled it in her arms.

"Cheat!" I hollered.

"What?" she asked, turning to us.

"We can't stop you but you can tackle us. That's hardly fair," Chelsea pointed out.

"Oh!" She giggled. "I'm sorry. Here." She threw the bird away from her and he flapped his wings to slow his descent. We let it wander away. "Now, my shield won't stop you while we play."

I furrowed my brow and looked to Marcus.

"She can retract it," he told me. "It's normally in place, but she can remove it if she wishes."

I nodded and crouched, waiting for someone to give the signal.

Renata did, which made sense after she halted the game. "Game on!"

I ran to the east. The ptarmigan had gone far enough we would have to find him again. My nose wasn't quite precise enough to pinpoint him, but I knew he'd gone this way. I ran out, not hearing the others behind me. They must have gone straight, tracking. I tread over the frozen lake and heard a crack just before I was dunked in freezing water.

I kicked quickly to where I'd fallen in. Or I thought I had, but there was no opening. I continued kicking moving my hands over the ice. _Come on, hot hands, _I thought, _melt me a way out of this. _I wasn't having any luck and I was running out of air.

I let myself sink and kicked hard, hoping to punch my way through, but instead strained my neck. I was just considering phasing, I had no idea what that would do to the little breath I held, when a fist broke through the ice over me and grabbed my hair. I reached up and wrapped both hands around the ice cold wrist that pulled me out. I gasped for air as soon as she hauled my head free of the water. My skin was scraped open on the sharp edges of the ice, but healed as soon as I was on the surface again.

I looked into the golden eyes of my savior. Suplicia. "What? Why? How?" I stammered, still trying to get breath.

"I followed you. I thought you must have had some reason for going this way. I couldn't let you die," she said, standing up and walking back the way she had come, on the thickest ice. I stumbled after her. "Marcus finally has something to exist for. I wouldn't let that be taken from him."

I coughed, still fighting the water that had made it up my nose. "But-"

"And it seems you give me something to exist for too. Even if it is only making your life miserable." She smiled so broadly, so ferociously, I flinched at first.

Then I thought better of it. She was still looking scary, but I laughed loudly. I laughed until I coughed again. "Well, compared to losing Aro, I suppose I can't make your life much worse can I?"

She chuckled. "No, certainly not."

We weren't friends, we weren't even acquaintances, we were people who tolerated one another for the sake of our mutual friends. Yet we could tolerate one another. Knowing that she enjoyed my taunts didn't really make me angry, which it should. When had Marcus turned me into a sap? I stomped along until Suplicia grabbed my elbow to stop me. "Do not break the ice. I might not be so dense as to save you twice," she warned.

I chuckled. "Right."

When we got home, I changed into dry clothes and brought out my gift to Marcus while he sat with the ladies. I hip checked Lucia right off the couch. She growled and I suppressed a chuckle. "Marcus. This isn't something women normally give men. But I'm obviously not a normal woman."

I smiled broadly and heard Lucia mutter, "Obviously not. Hell-bitch."

"This is a symbol of love in my tribe." I pulled out the braided throng and tied it to his wrist. I'd had to talk to Seth to make sure I got it right. "This is the earth." I traced the deep green thread of the weave. "This is blood." I slipped my finger tip to the maroon strings. "This is breath." The light blue threads wove with the others. "These together make life. I give you mine. As long as you wear this, I am yours." I met his eyes.

"Then I will never take it off." He kissed me and I heard Suplicia make a gagging noise. I threw one of the cushions at her without breaking the kiss.

"Happy birthday," I told him.

* * *

Yes, that's the same bracelet Jacob gives baby Renesmee. Awww.


	16. Chapter 16

"The bride arrives. About time!" I was wrapped into my brother's arms as soon as I stepped past the arrivals gate.

"Hey, Seth. I missed you." I hugged him back. He lifted me right off the floor. Freak.

"That's why you need to visit more often than once every four years." My mother's frown was severe. I ducked my head, ashamed. I should have come back. The others would have been all right for a week. It was just so easy to stay with Marcus. I'd kept putting it off and putting it off.

"Sorry, Mom." I hugged her, too. I saw Charlie standing behind her and smiled thinly.

"So, where are the others?" she asked now.

I looked over my shoulder to see them stepping through the door like a group of models. Freaky leeches. I shook my head. Why did I surround myself with these people?

Marcus put a cold hand to my back and lips to my nose and I remembered really quickly. My mother's jaw was open. What did she think? He'd be ugly? She knew what vampires looked like.

"Mom, this is Marcus. Marcus, this is my mother, Sue."

He took her hand and kissed it. I watched Charlie fume. "And Marcus," I said, hip checking him. "That's her husband, Charlie Swan, the chief of police in Forks."

Marcus didn't drop my mother's hand, but he was certainly quicker lowering than raising. He stretched his hand to Charlie who gripped it tightly. He didn't know what Marcus and his kind were, just that they weren't _normal._ So he didn't know Marcus could break his hand doing what he was doing now.

Charlie looked at his hand and let go. I tried to smile again. "And this is Seth." I still had one arm around his shoulders.

"Marcus," he simply nodded. "I've seen far too much of you."

I slapped the back of his head.

"So who are these ladies?" he asked with a stupid grin.

"Like you're interested in them." I rolled my eyes. "You already know Lucia."

"Are you actually going by that?" Seth asked.

She half growled, "Yes."

"Nice to see you again." Seth's lie was _not_ convincing.

"And this is Renata and Chelsea."

He took Chelsea's hand. "So you're going to be my counterpart, eh? I don't have to dance with her do I, Leah?"

"I don't care who you dance with. I'm hoping to be on my way to Banff by then." I smiled wickedly.

"No rushing," my mother chided.

I rolled my eyes. She wanted to have a huge affair. She'd have me trussed in miles of satin, a wedding party of eight or ten and a cake with sixteen layers. I'd had to rein her in, hard.

Still there had been compromise. So, the cake had three layers. My dress was satin, but did _not_ have a train. And my wedding party was the four of us. Seth, Chelsea, Marcus and me. I had a best man, and he had a maid of honour. Perfect. My mother wanted to choke me. I didn't give a damn. As it was the entire _tribe_ was going to be there. Plus most of Makah. I tried not to think about it.

Introductions taken care of, we rented a car for our group and headed to Seth's place, my home. Mom had long since moved to Forks with Charlie, but Seth had kept the store and the house. We dropped the ladies at the Cullen house. It was unoccupied at the moment. Marcus would be the only vampire on La Push until the ceremony. I ran straight up to my room and flung open the door. Seth was laughing at me downstairs. "I didn't touch anything!"

"You better not have! I'll kick your ass!" I flopped on my bed and saw Marcus in the doorway.

"That doesn't look big enough to share," he commented. He was right, it was a single. All I'd ever needed.

"We'd just have lie really close." I beckoned with a finger.

"Not in my house!" Seth yelled from downstairs.

"Screw you!" I shouted back, pulling Marcus down on top of me.

He laughed. "I think maybe we can restrain ourselves for a couple of days."

I rolled my eyes. "I suppose," I grumbled.

Marcus got up and started opening drawers. I came behind him, curious at what would interest him. His hands flitted over a dream catcher, a raven's feather. A picture of my father, mother, Seth and I on a camping trip. I was seven. He picked that up and looked at it for a while. "You took me here."

It was Mount Baker. I was surprised he recognized it. "Yes."

His finger traced my father's face. Then he set the picture back down. He turned back to me. "You have your father's chin." He put his cold fingers under it, tipping it up.

"Yeah, I got his stubbornness too."

"No, I think that's all your own."

I laughed and heard Seth chuckling downstairs.

There was a knock, and I pulled Marcus downstairs with me.

"Hey Jake." Seth greeted him at the door. "You heard she was here, did ya?"

"Yeah. He's here too?" Jacob looked over Seth's head and saw us on the stairs. "Hey, Leah. Welcome home."

"Thanks, Jacob. I gotta say, Churchill's feeling a lot like home these days." I crossed the room.

"Aw, you don't miss us at all?" he asked with a smirk.

"No. I don't miss you lot of _boys_ at all." He grabbed me into a hug. It still felt a little awkward.

"Well, we miss you."

I chuckled. "Yeah right. You all hated me and my _feminine problems,_" I taunted.

"Long time, Marcus. She hasn't kicked you out yet?"

"Not yet." He stood behind me, his hands on my ribs. "Lucia a few times."

I doubled up laughing. "Yeah. Yeah, she's been thrown out on her head a few times!" I laughed hard enough to bring tears and the guys were looking at me like I was insane, which is probably how it seemed to them.

Marcus laughed with me, though, and filled them in. "She means that literally." He drew a hand across his throat which just made me laugh harder. The boys joined in now.

Boys. They were both well over twenty now. I shook my head. Then I stopped suddenly. "Am I turning thirty this year?"

Seth and Jacob both laughed at me now. I punched each in the gut. "It's not that funny!"

"Hell, yeah, it is." Jacob was spluttering while clutching his stomach. That was when I first saw Renesmee behind him.

"Wow, rude much? Come on in, Nessie." I shoved Jacob out of the doorway. "How have you been?"

"Not bad. Got crashed by one of your guests in Seattle."

I looked to Marcus who shrugged. "Who?" I asked.

"Alec?" She seated herself on the couch.

"Alec!" Marcus said with surprise. "Did anyone come with him?"

"Wait, wait. Another vampire? One not already on the diet?" This was not something I had planned for.

"Well, I sent an invitation to Volterra-"

"You didn't," I groaned. "I asked the rest of the Cullens _not_ to come and you invite everyone in _Volterra?_" I stopped, took two paces away from Marcus and started stretching. "I am a woman, not a bitch," I repeated to myself.

"I didn't expect to get an answer when I sent it," Marcus tried to explain. "It was really meant to inform them."

I was still clinging to humanity, feeling the heat rippling down my spine.

"Wow, she's really gotten better at that," Jacob mused to Seth.

"Yeah, do you think you could have fought it that long?" Seth asked.

"He was alone," Nessie said. "He is alone. Well, he isn't right _now._ He's with the others at the house."

He was with Chelsea, Lucia and Renata. He wasn't near any humans. Everything was fine. I tried to convince myself; it wasn't working well.

"And when did he _feed_ last?" I asked through my teeth.

"Oh no, Leah." Jacob came around me then. "He's going back with you. He's been feeding on animals since he got here."

I met his eyes.

"You think I'd let him come anywhere near here if he was still feeding on humans? What the hell?" He was mad now. I supposed he had a right to be.

"I didn't think of that." I dropped my hands from prayer position. "Of course you wouldn't."

"He's having trouble though," Nessie told me. "Two near misses on the way here. One outside our place in Seattle and one in Forks. He's going to be a handful for you."

I shook my head. "Nothing I can't handle." My smile was small but proud. My vampires hadn't had a near miss in over a year. They were as tempted as ever, but none really considered falling off the wagon. I wished my human record was as clean.

"Can I see the dress?" Nessie asked, bouncing a little on her seat.

I rolled my eyes. "You are such a girl. Come on." I led her up to my room where I had hung the garment bag with my dress inside. I zipped it open for her and waited for her reaction.

"It's... nice."

I laughed and zipped it back up. "It's mine." It wasn't flashy; it wasn't glamourous. I looked hot in it. She wouldn't know that from the hanger though.

"You having a stagette?"

"What?" I asked, incredulous.

"Y'know, A girls' night."

I tried to think of who I would have to such an event. "No, I really hadn't thought about it."

"Oh. A shower?"

"I'm pretty sure I'll shower in the morning."

She rolled her eyes. "A _bridal_ shower?"

"Um. I hadn't planned one, no."

"You are so lucky you don't have an Alice. She'd be ripping out her hair right now. Or maybe your hair. You never know with Alice."

"Yes. I'm glad I don't have an Alice," I agreed with enthusiasm. "I have a Mom. Who no doubt has a _surprise_ shower planned for me, but you'd have to talk to her."

"Hmm. I would have thought she would tell me if she did." Nessie shrugged. "Well, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." The silence became awkward. "And now I'm going back to see Marcus."

"Yep. Jake and I should probably get going too. We're staying at the cottage tonight. Mom and Dad send their best."

I winced. "They're crashing aren't they?" When I had asked the Cullens not to come, I thought I'd made my reasoning fairly clear. There weren't as many wolves any more. We didn't need a new flush of them. Especially with Jake currently in Seattle.

"Don't be mad. It will only be for the day. Nothing will happen that fast. We'll all be gone again after."

"I'm not mad." It was true. I should be. I should be furious. I was already heading down the stairs with her behind me. "Marcus will be thrilled to know."

"I am." He beamed at Nessie.

"And we're sure a day isn't going to be a problem?" I asked Jacob.

He shrugged. "If it is, we'll deal with it."

I rolled my eyes.

* * *

I held Marcus' hand and he held the knife. Flashbulbs went off and I tried to keep my smile from being too fake. This was such nonsense. What did cutting a cake have to do with anything? The vows we'd shared, those were important. I'd promised to obey him. Was I still right in the head? Of course, he'd promised to obey me too, so I supposed it was alright. Still, so much of today was tradition for tradition's sake. This dress, the cake, none of that mattered. None of that _meant_ anything. He lifted a piece of cake to my mouth and I bit into it. I returned the gesture, pulling the piece just before he bit and shoving that in my mouth as well. I grinned at him with icing on my lips. I licked it away and he bent to kiss me.

"Thank you," he whispered. I giggled.

He led me in another circuit of hugs and congratulations. Not only the Cullens, but the Denali family had come as well. Marcus' portion of the guests was still paltry next to mine. Emily hugged me tightly and Levi even kissed my cheek. I couldn't get over how big he'd gotten. They had two more now, both daughters. One in diapers, one out. More of the pack had kids too. Rachel and Paul had one, Kim and Jared had two. And Claire! She was a woman! Quil was currently spinning her around in a dance and wore a grin that matched Jacob's. Both had finally gotten their imprints past holding hands. I shook my head. I was so glad I hadn't had to deal with that headache.

"I understand you're leaving soon." Carlisle said as he was shaking Marcus' hand. "We wanted to make sure you got our gift before you left."

I cringed very slightly. We had almost paid Carlisle back for all the money he'd loaned us to get started. Now what had he gotten for us? I looked to his hands, but they were empty. Esme wasn't holding anything either.

"Follow me?" He walked away from the gathering and I followed on Marcus' arm. Suddenly he scooped me up and ran alongside Carlisle as he shot off. I might have been able to keep up, I might not, but I would have broken my heels off if I'd tried.

We came to a cove and Marcus put me on my feet. "You didn't," I moaned.

Esme was at my side. "Congratulations. And this way you can visit home more often."

A seaplane was moored in the cove, rocking gently on the surf. "You can't be serious."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Marcus said, hugging his old friend. "Be gracious," he whispered to me over Carlisle's shoulder.

I had promised to obey. "Thank you very much," I said to Esme, trying hard not to scowl.

"You are so welcome, Leah. We are so happy for both of you." She hugged me and I held my breath.

* * *

I stood beside Marcus in the lobby of the Banff Park Lodge. He used a credit card to pay for our reserved suite this time. I pulled one of his arms around my waist while the hostess did her thing.

"Thank you, Mr. Clearwater. I hope you enjoy your stay."

"Thank you." We walked sedately to the elevator, Marcus carrying our only bag in one hand. So different from our last stay here. And so much the same. As soon as the doors closed he scooped me into his arms and planted icy kisses on my neck. "Mine, mine, mine," he whispered with each kiss.

I laughed at him, but he continued to carry me and the bag when the door opened. He fumbled a little in order to keep a hold on me while retrieving the room key. Then he carried me over the threshold. It was the Royal Suite again, and a fire already raged in the fire place.

"You're sure Alec will be all right?" I asked for what was probably the eighth time. Marcus had spent part of the week up to the wedding with Alec. I was still leery about leaving him with the girls.

"Jacob said he'd stay at the cottage. They're going to be fine." Marcus kissed down my neck along the top of my dress. "Please, try to relax. Otherwise we might as well head back."

"Right." I didn't want to leave. I wanted to have this time alone with him. They were under Jacob's watch now. And they were all going to be fine. I inhaled deeply and heard a rumble from Marcus as my breasts rose to his mouth.

"You are a woman," he murmured, making light of my mantra. I smacked his shoulder. He laid me on the rug in front of the fire. If he hadn't been so close I would have been roasting. He left me lying there for a moment, becoming slightly overheated, only to return after a pop. He handed me a glass of champagne.

"To the future."

"To our future," I toasted with him. I knocked back my glass quick and leaned forward, putting my lips to his.

"Have I told you how much I appreciate all you give for us?" he whispered into my ear with a voice of molten chocolate, kissing my cheek. His fingers slid down my leg, pulling off one of my shoes. "How glad I am you are willing to help us?" He pulled off the other and ran his hand up the inside of my leg. My breath hitched as he slipped under my skirt. "How insanely lucky I am that you imprinted on me?" His mouth moved under my chin, his tongue massaging under my jawline.

"How lucky are you?" I rasped.

"I am the luckiest being in the world." His tongue ran down my jugular and I fell back into the arm on my shoulder, leaning my head away from him. "It's only gotten stronger."

He was referring to the bond between us. "I know. That's why I never came to visit. I couldn't leave you." I was feeling insecure now. Was I too needy? I sat up again, and put my hands to his chest. "Before the other two came, I could go with Chelsea for a week, but now-" I opened the buttons of his shirt and put my mouth to one of his nipples. "I can't bear to be away from you for more than a day."

"I don't want you to be gone that long, or that far." He moved the hand between my legs, making me jump and catching my breath again. "I want you closer than this." He stroked along my damp panties again and I closed my eyes.

"How close do you want me?" My hands, flat to his chest, followed the planes down to his waist, anticipating his answer.

"I want you as close as you can be. I want to be inside you." His breath was rougher, but his voice still oozed sensuality.

"Marcus, I want that, too." I rocked my hips into his still moving fingers. Restraining ourselves in my brother's house for five days had been an excellent idea. It felt like it had been years since he'd touched me like this. I grabbed his open shirt and pulled him with me as I laid back on the rug, my lips never leaving his.

He pulled his hand from beneath me and moved it to my breast, trailing lightly over the lacy material of my dress. The other hand continued teasing me. I refused to be teased. I lifted my hips while pulling the dress up, out of the way. A low growl escaped me.

"Leah." Marcus' golden eyes held mine. "I'm going to take my time tonight. Is that all right?"

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back to the carpet. Marcus' concept of time was so different from mine. It would be agonizingly slow. It would be painfully drawn out. He would make my mind run away and hide for a day or two. My toes curled into the carpet and my muscles all tensed. I whimpered slightly.

"Is that a yes?" he whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my side and goosebumps to raise on my arm. His fingers brushed my panties again and I gasped, squeezing my eyes further shut.

"Yes," I moaned.

I opened my eyes and saw his breathtaking smile. His fingers left my dampness now and raked down my thigh again. I arched at the touch. The other four fingertips played across my collarbone, brushing away the hair that just covered my shoulders. His lips came to my nose, first the tip, then the bridge, then each of my eyes as I had closed them again. He brought the hand from my legs and raked my arms now, causing my fingers to flex and find his forearms, clutching him.

He chuckled and brought my hands to his hips, moving his to my ribs. He nipped my ear with his lips while his hands brushed lightly up my ribcage, circled my breasts, and touched ever so lightly over the nipples.

I arched again with a gasp. His lips tightened on my ear and I moaned. My panties were done for. They would never be clean or dry again. My hands were gripping the material of his pants. I started trying to fumble with his belt. He let me, knowing I wouldn't get far.

He was right. He leaned to my other side, his lips finding that ear now. His hands tracked down again, his thumbs following the curve of my pelvic bone and stroking there, just missing the throbbing heat of me. He was so tantalizingly close. I started to shift and he pressed me hard into the rug. I winced at the bruise that made. Of course it was gone almost as quickly as it came. His face came to mine, his eyes questioning. I had agreed. I gritted my teeth and tried to relax into his touch. He had me so hot already, but he wanted to take his time.

I was rewarded with another smile and a nipping kiss for each of my pointing peaks. I whimpered a little at that too. So cold, his lips made them even harder, even more sensitive, especially through the fabric of both dress and bra. His thumbs traced the edges of my panties, then just under. My hips bucked before I even noticed and he pushed me back to the floor again.

I whimpered once more, tugging on his hips. He chuckled lightly, but held his hands long enough for me to get his belt off. I could feel him trapped there. I wanted him out. I wanted him in me. I was faster on the button and zipper, but he pulled his hips back just as I'd gotten them and put his mouth to the exposed line of flesh over my panties and under the bunched skirt. He ran his lips slowly across it and I shivered. I filled my hands with his hair.

He moved very slightly lower and blew. I bucked off the rug again as the freezing air hit my hottest parts. My clit seemed to scream, my dampness froze and made me burn even hotter. I had tears in my eyes for Christ's sake and he _still_ hadn't taken my clothes off. His tongue touched my clit through my panties and I bucked into his face now, holding him down with my hands.

"Am I taking too long?" he asked.

I whimpered in reply.

"I really did want to take my time."

I cried softly. "You – you can take -" I wanted to agree, but I couldn't. I needed it too badly. I continued to hold him to my crotch, a sign of how little I could fight the burning inside me.

He sighed very slightly. Then his head rose slightly. "Let's see what you can take." His thumbs moved together under my panties and into me. His fingers spread over my panties and began circling.

"Thank you," I moaned just before the orgasm that had been verging for what seemed like an hour, but was actually more like ten minutes, exploded from me.

He stroked me twice as I came down and then slid his thumbs up through the cleft in my skin. They converged on my clit and stroked together. My hips lifted and were slammed down again. Now his mouth was back on my breasts. As soon as it was, he pulled his hands from below and pulled the dress from me, sliding his hands gently up my back. I arched to help him slip the silly thing off. He put a hand to his foot, slipping off a shoe. "Roll over," he insisted.

My eyes widened a little in surprise. Not that he wanted me on my stomach, but that he was undressing already. I had just gotten my hands under my chin when I heard his pants fall in a pile and felt his hands in my hair.

I closed my eyes as he stroked my hair and laid kisses on my back. Not what I expected, not what I would have asked for, it was so soothing and calming. He kissed down my spine, his hands staying higher, on my neck and shoulders now, tracing my skin as he had before. I sighed in content. His lips were in the curve of spine and his hands unclasped my bra and trailed down it's wake to touch my breasts beneath me.

His lips moved lower, over my panties again now. He licked my tailbone. "Hope I didn't break anything," he whispered against it.

"No," I sighed, "No breaks yet."

"Good. Maybe later." I shivered at the implication as well as his breath finding the wetness on my panties again. He kissed there now and I squealed. He moaned and brought his hands to either side of his face, opening me again. I pushed up on my arms, arching as I pressed into him.

He lapped at me and I came again in my panties. He spun his fingers around on my hips, under the waistband, and pulled my panties off. I lay with my eyes closed while his hands traced my skin to my ankles. He bent my foot up and put a toe in his mouth. I giggled. He knew how that tickled. He ran his tongue around it and I tried to kick him away. "Stop," I giggled.

He relented and kissed his way up the back of my leg, over my ass, into the small of my back, up my spine. I was fully flexed at this point. My head bent back, my elbows pressed into the carpet. Cobra pose. His hands held my hips now and curled under. He lifted and rubbed my pelvis as he moved between my legs.

I felt his cold tip, and then the rest of the shaft as he pushed into me, practically lying on top of me. He simply held me there, impaled on him, while his hands continued to stroke my pelvis, running fingertips through the hair, ever closer to my heat.

I was already pulsing. I knew the second he moved lower I was done for. I rounded my back now, lifting him slightly. We both nearly purred at the nearness, the feeling on connection. After a few halting breaths I dared to start to sag back. That was when he moved his hand.

"God!" I cried through clamped teeth and rocked on him. I squeezed and moved and squeezed and screamed, and squeezed.

"Yes," he moaned, "yes, Leah." He urged me on, continuing to stroke me.

But I couldn't. I sank back to the carpet with a sigh.

Cold lips traced my back, kissing and licking away the sheen I'd built. He practically purred. I just gasped and tried to regain my breath.

"Your heart is racing," he told me and rolled me over to stroke my belly, wiping away more sweat. His pale white hand against the brown of my skin. "You smell..."

My eyes went wide. Was I finally going to find out what I smelled like to him?

He closed his eyes and brought his mouth to my breast. Nope. Oh well. Not bad, at least. He didn't smell _good_ to me, so I didn't expect I smelled good to him either. I would certainly smell strongly right now.

He wasn't done, of course. Not by a long shot. He put one hand alongside his face on my opposite breast and palmed and pinched me in time with the licking and nipping. I ran my hands down his back, scratching. I wrapped my legs around his chest, lifting my hips. He moaned when my rocking brought me in contact with the head of him. He moved a hand down to cup me and pin me. He held me to the floor and curled his fingers inside. I arched my chest into his mouth, ready to come again.

"You sound divine," he murmured, pinching my nipples as his thumb nudged my clit.

I ground down on his hand, squirming madly. "I'm losing my mind," I warned him.

"Not yet, I think," he looked up at me, tossing black hair from his eyes. They were gold, but hungry. My breath quickened. He wrapped arms around me and pulled me into his lap. I eagerly sank down on him, wanting to be full again. "Marcus," I moaned, my eyes rolling back as I pushed myself up and down on my heels.

His mouth found my breast again, it was barely cool now, having been in contact with my overheated skin for so long. I pulled it to my face and attacked his tongue with my own.

He very forcefully pushed it out with his own, but let his wander my mouth. I tried to remember why I needed to be careful, but it didn't come to me. Instead I just panted and moaned into him, building again.

He pulled his lips from me. "You are mine forever, Leah. Never leave me."

I couldn't answer. I just continued gasping and thrashing on him. He began thrusting with me and I saw white. I saw stars. Then everything went black.

* * *

He didn't bite her. Don't think that. I couldn't think of another way to write her passing out. hehe. Thanks to Sharebear for all her beta work.

For Alec lovers, I know he didn't really show up, was just referred to, in this chapter. He's going to be in the next, obviously. Marcus won't be the lone boy in the circle anymore. Yay! :D


	17. Chapter 17

Alec had been with us two weeks. He was fitting in just fine. I didn't even have to phase to hunt with him; Chelsea and Marcus always came along and chased him down when he went off track. It was amazingly pleasant.

The ladies were taking over the operation of one of the hotels in town. Marcus was helping with renovations to some of the suites before they reopened for the summer. I'd voiced my concerns on them staying in a building surrounded by humans. They reminded me that they were taking turns at the desk so no one would have to endure too long. Also, the vast majority of the time, all the humans were either in their individual rooms, with their scent safely tucked behind doors, or not in the hotel at all. Finally, they held up their spotless record in the two years since Lucia and Ren had joined us. How could I argue with the proudest statistic I had?

Easily, they wanted to take Alec with them.

"No way. He is _not_ ready for that."

"Sure I am. I only step out when I'm on the hunt. I'm not completely without self-control," he argued.

I narrowed my eyes on his orange ones. He had cheated before leaving Forks. That was on Jacob's head, I didn't blame myself for that. Still, how could he question me when the proof was on his face. The sense of entitlement coming off this pansy was enough to kill me. He had been the golden boy for so long, he didn't seem to realize he was bottom rung here.

"I said you're not. I want all of the red out of your eyes. I want you to have a month with no one stopping you mid-hunt." His face grew more indignant with each stipulation. "_And_ I want you in a yoga workshop."

That turned heads all over the room.

"What? What does yoga have to do with anything?"

I met Chelsea's eye and she smiled slyly and nodded. "Just this. Hot sweaty humans. For a four hour stretch. Twenty bodies in a room little larger than this. You can handle that, I won't worry about you when some mother comes down the stairs clutching her screaming toddler. Deal?"

I held my hand out to him. He looked at it skeptically. I shrugged. "You can just stick around the house. No skin off my-"

"Deal." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it painfully. I just bared my teeth and squeezed back. It made the strain on my tendons worse, but I didn't care. I wasn't letting this punk-kid push me around.

He dropped my hand like it was a hot coal. "Damn. Are you always that hot?"

"Mmm, yeah." Marcus answered for me and I blushed. Which of course brought him instantly to my side.

Alec shook his hand. "I'd like to hunt tonight," he said crossing his arms. "If I'm going to have to go a month, I want to start as soon as possible."

"Fine by me. I'll see you at dusk."

Alec proceeded to meet all my conditions. I still accompanied all his hunts, but he never needed to be pulled off a human trail. He came to my yoga class and raised the temperature of the room as he entered. Being that he was cold as ice, I found the fact funny. Of course, he hadn't expected _aroused_ sweaty humans. Several cougars were looking to pounce before I pulled them off the poor boy.

"Ladies. This is my husband's cousin. I'd appreciate if you didn't sully his innocence." There were titters, but they took the warning as that. This was my family and I'd flay the one who tried to put her hooks in him.

The class was the last condition. He picked up his mat and headed straight for the hotel. I glared after him as I tidied the room. I was sure he wasn't going to be that easy.

I sat chatting with Chelsea about a couple of mutual clients. There were several families who benefited from Chelsea's intervention after I'd helped them remove some of the obstacles to their relationships. I looked up to see Alec. I hadn't seen him in a few days, he being at the hotel so much. I hadn't hunted with him since he started helping there either. He looked at me and turned quickly for the stairs.

"Wait." I jumped up and ran to him.

He turned slowly. His eyes were burnt orange. "What happened? Who was with you?"

He looked to Chelsea, so I did as well. "You?" I accused.

"No," she whispered.

"Who?" I demanded. I felt heat roll down my spine. I was going to phase if I wasn't careful.

"Marcus," Chelsea continued to whisper. Now I knew why she did. I felt the bottom fall out of my stomach.

"When?" I wanted to cry. "And how?" I shook my head and felt the tears starting to flow. "Never mind. He's at the hotel, right? Chelsea, make sure he doesn't leave." I ran out the door without waiting for an answer.

"Leah!" Alec called after me, but I didn't wait. I ran into the hotel, nodding briefly to Ren before running up the stairs, following my nose. I stepped in and closed the door behind me. Marcus had heard someone coming, but probably didn't know it was me until I entered the room. Then again, the bond might have warned him. In either case, he had already turned off his sander.

"Leah? What's wrong?" He was instantly at my side. I pushed away from him.

"You know very well what is wrong. How could you? How could you not tell me!" I started circling the room trying to hold off the bitch. I needed to be able to speak. "I'm not going to ask how you could let this happen. I don't want to know that. But to not tell me! This is my territory, Marcus. These people are under my protection. How could you not-" My voice cracked. Hot tears were falling down my cheeks. I let him hold me now.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I didn't know what to say, how to tell you. He blinded me. When I could see again, he'd already disposed of the body. I don't even know who it was." His voice was heavy with emotion, too.

"He blinded you?" I had known Alec could do that, but he hadn't since coming here. He could leave a person completely unaware of everything around them, black and silent. It scared the crap out of me. "Why would he do that?"

"He was gone when I came to. I haven't seen him since."

I nodded. "I failed." I held his shirt and hid my face in it. I hadn't felt this vulnerable in a long time. "Someone died on my watch. Someone I didn't try to protect. I should never have relied on you and the others. This is my duty."

Marcus squeezed my shoulders. "No, Leah. You should count on us. We need each other as much as you for this to work. That's part of the reason we've stayed together. You showed us that. We can help each other. Don't blame yourself for what he did. He could have done the same to you." He stroked my hair but I couldn't let his comfort in. It was my fault, just not _all_ my fault.

"I need to see him again. He's at the house." My voice was steel. I ran from the hotel. Marcus was at the door just ahead of me. He was going to be seen. I growled at him, but he held the door open to me.

Chelsea stood still in the middle of the living room. I ran to her shaking her shoulders. "Chelsea? Where is he, Chelsea?"

"He's blinded her, too."

"He is pieces." I ripped off my shirt and shorts, phasing and tracking. I found him north of town, standing over another tourist. I lunged at him, giving the woman a chance to run. I closed my jaws on his arm just before everything went black. I didn't let go. I may not be able to see it, but that arm was still in my mouth. I dropped it and phased back to human.

"Alec. Why are you doing this? If you really don't want this diet, why did you stay?" I couldn't even hear myself speak, but if I knew how his gift worked, he could. "Go back to Volterra, but don't stay here. You aren't helping the others. You must know what you are doing is wrong or you wouldn't be hiding like this. Please. Either let us help, or leave. You can't pretend to do both."

I could see again and Alec was standing beside me. He wasn't any bigger than me, young when he was changed. His orange eyes were filled with shame. He kept looking away when I tried to meet his eyes.

"Why Alec? Was the temptation too much? Too many humans too close together? You kept it up for the whole month so easily. What changed?" I tried to put on the councillor hat and banish the bitch that I still felt just under my skin.

"I – I needed..." I waited, less than patiently, but quietly at least. I stretched a little, trying to fight the bitch. "I needed to know I could. When it was too much, I could still break away and..."

I shook my head. "You didn't know if you could get around us and take a human? You really don't understand, do you? You will always be able to. Humans will always be there, easy prey. The hard part is _not_ preying on them, not getting permission to. If all you wanted was permission, you could go back to Volterra. They'll happily join you in your feeding. You came here for a reason, Alec. What was it?"

"Jane." He looked at my bare toes and I wiggled them, trying to urge him to look up. His eyes rose slowly and then jumped to my face when he was reminded I was still naked. I really didn't care. This was more important.

"Jane?"

"I never had a mate, but Jane and I were twins, closer than siblings. I don't imagine the pain is anything like Suplicia's, but I miss that connection. I hoped..."

"You know why we have those bonds here, right? It's not Chelsea. It's not something forced or fake. It's a bond that came from us working together, helping each other. You aren't helping them, like I said. You're hurting the whole family. We are happy to have you, Alec. You are welcome to join us, but you have to be willing to work with us, let us help you. You will always be able to run from us, blind us, trick us. Real bonds are based on trust. You're going to have to earn our trust back."

"Your trust?" he frowned, no longer avoiding my eyes.

"That's going to be the hardest. You knew that, didn't you?"

He nodded. "That's why I did this on a hunt you weren't on." He stepped a little closer to me. "How will I ever earn your trust? You never trusted me."

"You need to work for it. Have you ever worked for anything, Alec?"

He looked down again and shook his head. Seth had never been this mopey. I pushed the bitch a little further away and put my arms around his shoulders. "It's all right, Alec. I know you miss her. I know you're doing this for her. You let her down last night, too. You let us all down."

He shuddered in my arms. "I'm sorry."

"I hope you are. I hope you understand. Because I'm going to give you another chance. Dammit, Alec. If you'd been hunting with Marcus and just given him the slip, I'd be mad, but I could handle that. You planned this. You chose to hunt that person; it wasn't an accident, the heat of the moment." I felt the ripple and knew I wasn't going to be able to fight it this time. "You need to understand."

I still had my hands on his shoulders when the claws came out. I tore his shirt even as my jaws found his arm again. I felt myself going blind and latched onto his leg before it took me. The last thing I heard was Marcus. "Leah, enough."

I didn't seem to be blind long when Marcus stood where Alec had been. He was a little behind Marcus, his clothes in worse condition than before.

"You've made your point, Leah. I'm not going to let you tear into him anymore."

He wasn't going to _let_ me? I snarled and felt the blindness coming again.

"No, Alec. Leave her be. If she wants to tear me apart she can, but she isn't touching you."

The blackness receded and Alec streaked out of sight.

"I was listening, Leah. You got your message across, but you were going to undo it. I couldn't let you do that."

Again with the 'letting' me. I growled again and my heckles rose. He closed his eyes, surrendering. The bitch lost it, and I lost control of her. When I came to myself again, my beautiful husband lay in pieces around me. I phased back, sobbing. I was no better than any of them. I couldn't control myself any better than Alec. How could I have done this? I sniffled and pulled one of Marcus' legs closer to his torso. I was shaking and it took a few tries to line it up properly. I found his arm, the bracelet, the _Wei Ha_, still tied there, and I couldn't handle it. I phased back to wolf and ran with no intention of ever turning back.

I'd spent enough time as a wolf, I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. I hadn't gone more than a couple miles before I was curled up, human, whimpering and crawling to hide. The wolf doesn't grieve. The wolf was has no concept of guilt or betrayal. The form rejected me.

"Leah?" I snapped my head up, tucking myself further into the craggy crevice I'd found. "Leah, it's Chelsea. Come on out. It's all right."

I sniffled again. "N-o-o-o. It's no-ot all r-right." I stuttered through my tears. "I lost it. I-I'm no better than-"

"Fool!" she snapped at me. "Why would you be better than us? Wasn't that the point? Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and get that skinny ass out here."

Chelsea was trying to be hard, but her high voice just didn't do it properly. I continued to cower, turning her words over in my head. She was right. I was able to help them because I had the same problem they did. Humans would always be there, and so would the bitch.

"If you don't come out, I'm bringing Lucia."

That worked. "No, not Lucy. I'm coming." I pushed myself out. Chelsea held out a sundress to me. She was sparkling in the sunlight. "Thanks. How is Marcus?"

"He's fine. You knew that." She smiled at me.

I nodded.

"He's fine, Leah. Stop beating yourself up. When we lose it, people die, when you lose it, you wreck some clothes. Let's face it, I'd rather have you slipping up."

I blubbered a chuckle. "Yeah. You just put yourselves back together."

"Exactly. Now come home."

I stepped through the door cautiously. I looked up through a curtain of hair. Alec was the only one in the room. I sighed and tossed my hair back. "How're you, kid?"

He snorted. "You realize I'm over a century old, right?"

"Yeah, and you still want a big sister. So suck it up, kid." I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Are you okay?" he asked now.

I shrugged. "I've had better days." My lip started to tremble. The piercing smell of vampire and four cold arms surrounded around me. I laughed a little at Chelsea pressed to my back and Alec pressed to my front. "Okay, really, personal space. Look into it."

Chelsea laughed and let go. Alec continued clinging to my waist. "You're so hot."

I bopped him on the head with a fist. "I want to see if my husband is all in one piece, thank you."

"Yeah, but, you're hot... Okay." He reluctantly backed off. I continued to shake my head.

"You watch your step, junior."

He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, I'm a hundred years older than you."

"Uh-huh." I ignored him, passing through the kitchen to the back. Chelsea was suddenly on my arm again.

"Leah. He, um. He isn't in one piece." She handed me something and my eyes went wide. It was a piece of Marcus. A piece he was definitely missing.

"Did I take this off?" I was shocked as she put his shaft into my hand. I almost dropped it.

She grinned at me. "Yes. You dismembered him."

"Oh, just stop. That's awful. Why did you take it?" I asked her now.

She snickered. "It wasn't me." She covered her mouth and continued to giggle.

"Who?"

She shook her head and fanned herself, obviously still fighting the laughter. "Uh-uh. I'm not telling. Just... keep it warm..." She lost it then and left me standing there continuing to hold my husband's unmentionables.

I looked at it. Why was it hard? Oh, I really didn't need to be thinking about this. It twitched in my hand and I nearly dropped it again. "Chelsea!" I yelled for her. Was it supposed to do that?

"Yes, Leah? Oh." Her eyes were wide on the squirming penis. "I can't say I've seen them like that often. Um. What do you want to do with it?"

"Disgusting!" I retorted immediately at her suggestion.

"Well, it's not like it hasn't been there before."

"Seriously. Shut up."

"I'm just saying."

"No, no, go away." I walked away from her, still clutching the gyrating dong. I tiptoed into our rooms, the out-building. Marcus wasn't there, but it was obvious he had been. Our room looked like someone had just robbed us. Things were tossed everywhere. "Marcus?" I called, knowing if he was anywhere nearby he would hear me. No answer. In the meantime my thumb had been idly stroking the shaft and it was more rigid and still, almost throbbing.

"Damn you, Chelsea." I would never have considered this otherwise, but now I got a little smile on my face and licked the icy tip. Plunge down, suck up, lick around the top. This was bizarre. I held it tightly and it started moving again. I had to feel that. I was blushing ten shades of red as I spread my legs, putting the tip to myself. I heard a noise at the door and shoved in, pulling my shorts up.

Marcus came into the room a moment later and hugged me tightly. I gasped as there was a twitch inside me. Then he backed up anger in his eyes. "Why, Leah?"

I hung my head. "I lost control. The wolf took over. By the time I knew what I was doing, you were in pieces. That's why I ran."

He softened slightly. "I know a little bit about losing control." He put an arm around my shoulders. "I could see it coming. That's why I stopped you."

"But you didn't stop me, Marcus. I ripped you apart. I saw the _Wei Ha_ still on your arm, even though you weren't moving, you weren't..." I was losing it again. I choked on tears when I felt a movement inside me again. Why had I done that? I felt worse than ever now.

"I forgive you, Leah. Just, tell me where you hid it."

"What?"

"If you were so upset, why did you take it at all?"

"What are you talking about?"

He looked right at me and I blushed. Right. I hadn't taken or hid it, so I was a little slow on the uptake.

"Tell me, Leah."

I shook my head, unable to speak. I rubbed my thighs together as I was suddenly very warm.

He growled. "Fine. When you're ready to tell me, you can find me."

"No." I jumped up, but too slowly. I heard only a few of his steps. I decided to start cleaning our room up. I wondered when he'd come back.

I slept without seeing him twice. I accompanied Chelsea and Alec on a hunt. He let himself go this time and I realized he hadn't been hunting so much as tracking before. That was why he had never gone off the path. He let himself go now and Chelsea stopped him when he went after the wrong scent. I caught up and she still had her hands on his forearms.

"Are you all right, Alec?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"No. Don't apologize for this. Even Marcus still does this. This is why we hunt together," Chelsea reminded him.

"She's right. You let go; you really tried. That means more than whether you succeed or fail. You tried." I hugged him now. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Leah."

I had no idea why my trust, my pride, my esteem meant so much to him. I was glad it did though. I don't think he could have been a part of our family without that.

That night I tracked Marcus down. He was in a storage room in the hotel, whittling. "Really?" I asked when I saw what he was doing.

"Well, I can't seem to focus on anything big. I'm a bit distracted."

I almost laughed, but managed to stop it before it bubbled out. "I can understand why you might be." I had left him at home. Walking like that was _not_ easy. "On the other hand, you might have new focus without..."

"Don't," he warned. "How long?"

"Pardon me?" I didn't understand his question.

"Till you give it back."

"You are a smart man, Marcus. I'm sure you'll get your hands on it soon enough." I kissed his cheek and turned to walk away.

"You are an evil woman."

"So I've been told," I said over my shoulder, closing the door behind me. I ran out of the hotel before doubling over laughing. Then I went home to play some more.

It was the next night he came to our room. I just had time to throw the cover over my legs. He twitched inside me and I groaned as the door opened.

He saw me lying in the bed and his eyes raked over my exposed chest. I felt a throb inside. "Don't mind me. I'm just going to look again."

I licked my lips. "By all means. This is your room." I watched him look through a chest of drawers. "I've missed you," I told his back. I squeezed against the cock inside me. I watched the muscles of his back and shoulders move as he changed shirts. He must have been wearing that one for days. I felt more heat inside me. My hand moved to my breast.

He looked over his shoulder at me, his black hair hanging into his eyes. "Really? I thought you still had me."

I shook my head and bit my lip. "Not enough."

His eyes fell on the hand on my breast and a light came to his eyes. "You want more?" he asked. "You would take something else?"

I squeezed again. "No, not take. Give." I moved my hand under the blankets but he stopped it, gripping my elbow.

"Wait," he whispered. His breath in my ear made me shiver. The dong moved again and I bit off a shriek. "I think you can take a little more first."

He was insane, but apparently so was I, otherwise I wouldn't have his disembodied body in my own. His lips moved down my neck and over my breast.

"I'm sorry, Marcus." The words were stuttered as my breath caught in my throat. His cold lips on nipple, his warm hardness inside me. It throbbed and I cried.

"Leah." He chuckled. "Don't ever do this again."

"Never," I vowed.

He slid his pants down as he pushed my cover aside. My legs were slick and writhing. I was going to climax on the shivering, pulsating rod inside me.

"Marcus," I begged moving my hand to pull it out.

He stopped me. "Not yet." He gave my clit one lick and I crashed.

"No! Oh god! Please. Please." I shook and clenched and arched and screamed.

Marcus slid his body up mine, covering me fully, pressing me into the bed. "Oh," he moaned as he tensed. "There."

Now he pulled it from me, only to thrust again. I continued to scream. "Never. Again." I panted between cries.

"Never," he agreed.

* * *

Credit to Evieeden (http:/www()fanfiction()net/u/2141372/) for her blow job description. All blow jobs should be described that way, apparently. Go read her stuff. Do it.

Thanks to Sharebear for her constant Beta. Sorry if I made you pee your pants on this one. I almost did the same.


	18. Chapter 18

Originally posted for the Doctor, Doctor contest, I had always intended for this to be a chapter in Soothing Burn. This is about 4 or 5 years after Alec joins the family.

* * *

"Okay. I've had enough. Get this thing out of me." I told the doctor.

"I don't know. It might not be safe yet. I wish we had a better idea of when you conceived."

"I told you before you came, I don't know! I've had two periods with four months in between. It could have been any time in the last three months." I started pacing. Walking felt good, even if I was humungous.

"Well, it wasn't as long ago as that." The doctor rolled her eyes. "You have to be three weeks, but I don't want to take them before four."

"Them?" I shrieked.

She pointed to the bruises on my belly where it jutted between my shirt and loose pants. "One baby doesn't move enough to put a foot here _and_ here." As she touched them the bruises faded. "In that little time."

"I don't care!" I continued to shout while I paced. "If they crack my hip one more time, I'm going to kill them before they breathe!" I was surprised how quickly I picked up the plural. I had had two days bed bound while my bones re-knit themselves.

"Calm. Breathe," Marcus said coolly. I started to growl.

"Listen to him. You can't phase right now," the doc reminded me. I inhaled on a count of five and exhaled on a count of five. I was a woman, not a bitch.

Just then one did kick and I fell heavily to floor at the pain in my pelvis. "I'm done, Nessie. They're done too. I want them out, now." I was practically panting as Marcus came and lifted me in his arms.

She continued to squint at me. "All right. Marcus, take her to the nurse's station."

As Marcus carried me out of our house, I reflected on the last three weeks, if indeed I had been pregnant all three. At first I thought I'd just eaten something that didn't sit right, until three different meals didn't sit right. That was a little suspicious. Then I had slept for twenty hours. Don't get me wrong, we shape-shifters can sleep, but that was a bit much, especially when I hadn't been doing anything overly strenuous in the past week. Finally I felt something move. There was no denying it, something was going on inside me. I called up Carlisle Cullen, freak expert extraordinaire.

"Yep, that sounds exactly like Bella's symptoms. But I'm not the one you should be calling."

"What do you mean? You're the one that delivered Nessie, aren't you?"

"No, Edward did. You didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't know that. I also don't think Edward is someone I would want delivering my baby." It was one thing when it was his wife, it was another thing when it was me.

"I wasn't going to suggest Edward. I was going to suggest his daughter. She has a perfect recollection of her own infancy, she has finished her medical degree, _and_ she has specialized in fertility and obstetrics. There is really no one more perfectly suited to help you through this."

And so, a few days later, Doctor Renesmee Cullen Black flew into Churchill, sans Jacob. I was grateful for that much. I really didn't want him to see the mess I currently was. Hormones are nasty, nasty things, and mine were all over the map. Ness had turned out to be the perfect midwife as well as Doctor. I'd forgotten Emily telling me that she was a godsend when Levi was on his way. That's not really surprising given that I was so blindingly jealous of Emily at that time. She was pregnant with Sam's baby. I was no longer Sam's anything and couldn't have any babies. Why would I care about how her pregnancy went? But she did say that Nessie had been good at making and keeping her comfortable.

When she arrived, she set to helping us finish the nursery, lying with me to make me comfortable, giving me painkillers as necessary, and generally being the saccharine girl she was. I was going to have a toothache before she went home.

Ness had already arranged with the nurses that, as my specialist, she would be delivering the babies. They insisted on helping, but she waved that bloody medical degree at them and told them to walk. They were going to be in the building, but we didn't want them seeing what was going on in their examination area.

My hip was healed enough for me to walk the last of the way - the part where anyone might have seen us. I was leaning heavily on Marcus, squeezing his hand for all I was worth. "You did this to me," I reminded him.

"And you're glad I did," he reminded me with a massive grin. I had to chuckle, even in my anger and continual pain. When they weren't breaking my bones, they were breaking blood vessels, stretching my insides, bruising my spine. Bella had gotten out of this by dying. I wasn't going to be so lucky.

"Put her up on the table, Marcus. Take off her pants and push up her shirt a little further," Ness instructed. She began breaking out a myriad of equipment: sponges, towels, and other items. "Are you staying or going?" she asked Marcus, filling a needle with painkillers.

"Staying," he said taking my hand. Ness nodded and put the needle in just over my navel. "That'll just take a minute to hit your system." She continued arranging the items on her tray before rolling it into reach.

She pinched me. I could barely discern it. She swabbed the area with alchohol. "Good. Are you ready?" she asked me now, scalpel in hand.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. One of the babies kicked then and I groaned. "God, yes. Get them out!"

She smiled and put the scalpel to my skin, carefully parting and clamping the skin as she went. Even though she was twisting to apply sponges to the incision, grabbing and inserting clamps, it didn't seem to take any time for her to cover several inches. Her hands were almost a blur; the wound would have healed back up immediately if she didn't work so fast. Once she had a few inches cut I could see the white sac the babies were moving in. "You are still all right?" she checked quickly. "Do you need more relief?" She looked at my face, but I was fine. It hurt like hell, but I was fine. Pain, physical pain, was easy. She didn't wait for my answer before putting her mouth to the wound.

That was just wrong. I should not be watching a vampire eating me. Not even a half-breed vampire with a medical degree and specialization in fertility, gynaecology and obstetrics. It was good that it _was_ her, though; she wasn't venomous. The grating metallic sound was horrendous; it set my teeth on edge. I could hear a cry though, then a second.

She put one hand through what seemed far too small an opening and lifted out the first of my babies.

"A girl!" she said happily. She cut and tied the cord before wrapping the infant in a towel and giving her to Marcus.

The second seemed to be evading her. "Oh come here," she groaned at him. "Stop kicking..." She pulled him out by the ankle and I thought I might slap her even if she was holding my brand new baby boy. He nearly squirmed out of her grip as she whipped a towel around him. She half tucked him under her arm while she cut his cord. He wailed like a hound of hell as she did so. "And a boy," she said, disgruntled, thrusting the baby into my arms.

He proceeded to bite me in the neck. I wrapped the towel over his mouth as the wound closed. "And hungry already," I observed.

"No venom?" she checked, nervously. A moment later, I shook my head.

"Odd, she seems happy enough." Marcus cooed at the half-sleeping baby in his arms. I could see the girl had the same black hair tufted on her head as the boy in my arms did. They both had rusty skin like mine. They had the impossibly perfect features of a vampire though, and the boy, at least, had a full set of teeth.

"I bit Bella after I was born too. She's probably happy because she can't smell it in you Marcus." Renesmee passed me a metal sippy cup. She had brought a few with her. "Hope he likes polar bear."

"He'd better, it's that or caribou," I said, taking it from her and pulling the towel from the boy's mouth. He drank happily from the cup and finally settled down. His tiny hands with their five perfect fingers gripped it. I was so busy watching him and observing all his perfection I didn't notice the odd sensation as Nessie closed me back up.

"Do you have any name ideas?" she asked cleaning my belly. She took the girl from Marcus to clean and weigh her. She dressed the baby in one of the two white sleepers we'd brought along. It was a little big on her, the feet hanging limply.

I hadn't really thought about it at all. And I had never guessed we'd have two. Everything happened so fast. I felt a little sick, then I was tired, and then I was as big as a house. I looked from Marcus to the baby in my arms. "Aaron?" I asked. The boy smiled, dribbling blood down his chin. "Aaron it is then." I used the towel to clean him up.

Renesmee replaced him with the girl. Aaron immediately began squirming and yelling. Again she tucked him under one arm and gave me the cup back. "Is that really the best way to handle him?" I asked.

"You'll have to tell me. Human infants don't move this much. But after a few months, this is fine..." she flipped him around in her hands twice and I worried again. "Leah, I've delivered over a hundred babies. I'm not going to drop him, and I'm not going to hurt him." She was still turning him around in circles. "I'm trying to disorient him so he lays still," she plopped him on the scale and pulled away quickly. She cleaned him and put him in the second sleeper.

I looked to the girl in my arms as she handed Aaron to Marcus. I felt a sense of joy that I hadn't with Aaron. It was probably because he bit me right off the bat. On the other hand, she seemed so much more calm in general than him. "Didi?" I asked.

Marcus gasped. "Didyme?" he asked incredulously.

"She makes me happy, just holding her. You said Didyme did that, right? Didyme?" I asked again. This time the baby wriggled a little and her eyes found mine. "Didi it is." I kissed her head. "Two for one. Not bad for a woman who thought she'd never have any kids," I said with a laugh.

Marcus kissed me then. "I love you," he said. "And I love you," he kissed Didi in my arms, "and I love you," he finished, kissing Aaron. "I didn't know I could love so much!" He laughed at himself.

"And I know of no reason you couldn't have more," Ness assured me. "Once you're healed up, if you keep off the wolf, you could have another. Two pair?" she teased.

"No chance. Can you snip him or something?" I asked tipping my head to Marcus.

His expression was too much. Renesmee was doubling in laughter. "No, he can't be changed. I can 'fix' you if you decide you'd like that later. It will be difficult..." She got a thoughtful look on her face.

"No, I don't think we need to go that far just now," I said, trying to stop her before she put too much work into it.

She shrugged, "Well, I'm going to take care of these things before the ladies discover them. Then we'll get you home." She cleaned up or disposed of her implements before pulling out a wheelchair with wide bike tires.

"Do I have to?" I complained.

"Even after a vaginal birth, you wouldn't be walking. This is best," she insisted. I started to swing myself down from the table. I felt a little sore, but the wound was already closed tight. "Give me Didi," Ness said rapidly, grabbing the baby from my arms. I almost tore her back. "I don't know how quickly the muscle will heal. I don't want you tearing the internal stitches. You can carry her tomorrow."

She laid Didi down and helped me into my pants. Apparently I wouldn't be bending until tomorrow either. "I want to see that degree again," I argued. "I didn't see 'right to be a smothering, pompous bitch' on there anywhere."

"No? Did you miss the Cullen part?" she asked sweetly with a smile.

I gripped the arms of the chair and laughed hard enough to hurt my middle.

"Stop!" she commanded. "Ugh, I'm terrible at bedside manner. I had to re-stitch two caesarians for just that. Here, hold Didi," she said, smiling at me.

I hugged her suddenly. She gasped. We'd never gotten along really well, but she had made this possible. She had brought my babies into this world. She had left Jacob to come help me. Now that I had an imprint I knew what a sacrifice that was. "Thank you, Ness. Thank you so much."

"Hormones," she muttered to Marcus and I slugged her. She chuckled after sucking in breath. "You're welcome, Leah. There's a reason why I'm an Ob/Gyn, you know. I love doing this." She kissed Didi now and then turned and kissed Aaron. "And I demand pictures! My album isn't nearly full enough."

I laughed. I'd seen her album on one of our visits to Washington. The thing was huge. She had birth announcements and class and team photos; she hadn't stopped tracking the babies she'd held for their first breaths.

"Yes, you will get pictures," I agreed as she wheeled me out. Marcus walked beside me, taking my free hand in his.

"And hand prints," he suggested.

"And hair clippings," I added.

"Yes! Yay! Yay!" She bounced and clapped her hands like a big kid herself.

I chuckled again, waking Didi. The nurses gave Ness an odd look. They were no doubt wondering how this twenty-something who acted about twelve had not only a medical degree but a specialization. I wondered myself sometimes.

"Could you _act_ like a doctor?" I mocked her.

"I suppose," she said with a shrug. "I did that for a while, but it got boring." I got an image in my head of Nessie with her bronze hair in a tight bun, useless glasses on her nose, frowning at a chart in a white lab coat. Then there was another of her in bunny print scrubs with her hair in a pair of knots on top of her head dancing up to her charts and stamping happy faces on them. Then there were babies crying at 'serious' Nessie and quietly lying with 'playful' Nessie. They were the patients that really mattered in her book.

"Yeah, whatever," I murmured. I rocked Didi a little as we rolled up to the house. She took the baby from me as I got out of the chair and walked through the door.

"How was it?" There were a group of vampires clustered in our living room.

I took Didi back from Ness after sitting in one of the chairs. "Awful, it took all of an hour." I snickered.

"This is Aaron," Marcus announced, passing him among our friends.

"He is gorgeous," Suplicia murmured.

Alec came and looked over my shoulder. He put a hand to Didi's head. "Hot as her Mom."

"You'd better be referring to her temperature or you are getting some serious beatings," I said with a grin.

"You can see it, can't you Marcus?" Chelsea asked him and I turned to them, a question in my gaze.

"Yes. I don't know if it's the bond of pack mates, or twins that makes it so strong. It is stronger than mere siblings though."

Renata was taking her turn holding Aaron. "What is her name?" Renata asked, looking to me.

"Didyme," I said with another smile for Marcus. I knew the name choice meant a lot to him, but I had come to it honestly. She did have a sense of serene contentment around her.

Suplicia was instantly at my side and hovering over my baby girl. "Didyme?" she asked, as though she thought she hadn't heard me correctly.

"Yes," I said, passing her over. Her serenity was enough to quell even my natural antagonism with Lucia.

"And here you are," Renesmee said, passing me two pieces of paper. I started laughing again. I kept it soft though.

"They are perfect, thank you."

The birth certificates she had made for my babies appeared formal enough. Of course they would never really be able to use them and so she had taken liberties with them.

**Didyme Clearwater - Father: Bloodsucker - Mother: Wolf**

**Aaron Clearwater - Father: Leech - Mother: Bitch**

**Signed: Loch Nessie Monster**

She had also drawn little wolves around the edges.

Nessie stayed with us for two more days, making sure we had the entire baby handling part down pat. She also measured Didi and Aaron fastidiously.

"They seem to be matching me. I would think they'll stop growing at seven as well. Of course, you being a shape-shifter will no doubt throw some sort of wrench in the works. You'll just have to keep me informed. A photo record would be nice," she said with another smile.

"We already told you we would send pictures," Marcus assured her.

"I know you want to get back to Jake, Nessie. You've done so much for us. We'll take it from here."

She hugged each of us one last time before boarding her flight home.

* * *

I laid Didi with her head alongside Aaron's in the wolf bed. Marcus was just finishing up the second. It would be ready before they were big enough to need two. Renata stood behind me. "They are absolutely amazing, Leah. Do you think either of them have a gift?"

I shook my head. "Don't know, don't care. Their gift is to be children." I bent and kissed each sleeping head. Their eyes were still a vibrant blue. Nessie had told me all infants had blue eyes when they were born and that they would probably darken quickly. They hadn't.

"I will watch them, if you want to sleep," Renata offered. "They don't need me in town for another four hours, and I'm sure Chelsea will be back before that." Chelsea had an evening appointment in the home of one of the families we worked with. They were doing very well and had invited her to dinner. It was a chance for her to see them interacting on their own turf, as natural as possible when they knew someone was watching. I hoped it went well. Darren had been without alcohol for over a year now and Justine was no longer popping E that she got at school. I was going to find the dealer of that and remove limbs.

Chelsea and I were getting quite the reputation in the area. Most drug dealers had been frightened away long since. Occasionally one would come through and try his luck, but they were usually warned off before getting more than a few sales under their belt. Apparently, without causing any permanent injuries, we'd managed to make ourselves very scary. I needed to roam south though. The natives really had a lot of trouble getting people like that to leave them alone. They were so easily hooked and so willing to open their homes to trash like that. I pushed the thought away as I headed to the outbuilding I shared with Marcus. The babies slept in the house because there was always someone awake and watching there.

Marcus came in behind me, catching the door I was swinging shut. I smiled. "Heard me, did you?"

"Maybe." He put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. "MILF," he murmured in my ear.

I shoved him away. "You and the goddamn internet. Stay away from me, you, you, DILF!" I laughed as I said it.

"Well, you are a mother," he said trailing fingers along my arm. "And you're all healed." He put the other over my belly. "And we didn't while you were..."

"Big as a house?" I offered for him, chuckling.

"You weren't that big," he complained lifting me onto the bed. "You were big, I won't lie," he put in when I gave him a sceptical look, "but you had two babies inside of you." He laid me back and put his lips to my belly, lifting my shirt to reveal the pale pink scar. "Right here." Part of the reason we hadn't done much touching after I felt the babies move was the incessant assault they would start if Marcus did give me any form of pleasure. Even his kisses would set one or the other to kicking me. "Two living creatures, just under the skin, growing," his tongue traced my scar. "I can't begin to comprehend it. And they're here!" He laughed. "You did it, Leah. Your amazing," he kissed my navel, "beautiful," he kissed a little lower, "human," a kiss at the band of my panties, "body did it."

"Yeah, you had no part in this at all." I ran my fingers through his hair as he slid my pants and panties off.

"So little. You fed them," another kiss, "nurtured them. They grew here." He held his hands to me again, his nose in my pubic hair. "You have no idea what it means to me."

"Some. It means quite a bit to me, too."

He looked up at me. His brown-gold eyes full of love. He pressed himself to me, his lips on mine. "I'm so glad I could do my little part," he whispered, making me chuckled again.

I put my hand between us. "Not so little." I rubbed him through his jeans. He growled and rubbed against me.

"Doctor approved?" he asked as my hand worked open the button at the top of his pants.

"Yes. I'm allowed to lift, carry, bend, stretch, fuck..."

He shuddered. "Good. I won't ask you to lift or carry, though." He put his lips to my ear and I laughed.

* * *

Check those birth certs again. Yes, Aaron is a son of a bitch. You've been warned.

Thanks to Sharebear for her beta help.


	19. Chapter 19

Were these ankle-biters really only three-months old? I had been around Nessie at this age. She was a laid back little girl, carried around when she wasn't running, chasing Jake for all she was worth, but I couldn't remember her getting into trouble. Not kid trouble. Not like Aaron.

Oh my God, Aaron. I was so glad the vampires in our family needed little for their day-to-day activities in the house, because it looked like it had when Esme came to help decorate – stripped bare. That boy could climb a smooth wall. He could swing from a light fixture with no clearance. And worst of all, he could throw his sister out the second floor window. I don't normally hold with corporal punishment, but I phased and _sat_ on him for an hour to make him see the error of his ways. It didn't help that Didi landed in the flowerbed with no more than a bruised tailbone yelling, "Again!"

Unlike Renesmee, we'd started the kids hunting off the bat. We filled cups for them for two weeks, until they were obviously up for crawling. Then they'd taken ptarmigan and puffins until they were ready to go for larger prey. Their physical development was astounding, crawling to climbing, walking to running all within days. Someone showed them how to play leap frog and Aaron turned it into a contest to see who could jump farthest. It was a good thing they could comprehend from an early age, because rules were coming down fast. They leaped right through town in four hops. Luckily, it was a cold night and the only person out was busy looking at the Aurora borealis, so they didn't notice.

Although they could comprehend as well as adults, neither was bookish. I kinda liked that. Renesmee had been such a scholar, I was afraid my kids would put me to shame before they were out of diapers. Aaron tore the first book I gave him, little brat. Didi enjoyed the pictures more than the words at first. Both enjoyed the television, the only appliance or electronic device Aaron appreciated enough not to destroy. They differed on watching preferences though. Aaron tended to the sports. Didi enjoyed educational programs. The result was that Didi got her way more often.

The family loved the new additions. Lucia and Ren were quick to outfit the pair with a full wardrobe up to children size seven. I begged them to stop there. If I remembered right, that was about the size they'd finally slow growing and maybe get to wear an outfit more than once. Aaron preferred to run naked anyway. It was nearly impossible to keep that boy in his clothes. He complained of being hot in the dead of winter. I tossed him in a snowbank.

After that first discipline incident, Alec offered his babysitting services. I was sceptical, but when I saw the terror sitting silently, unable to see or hear anything, I had a change of heart. _That_ was a punishment that would work on him. Didi was sitting in Alec's lap reading aloud to him, while Aaron's breathing slowed and evened. When it was the same as Didi's, Alec lifted the veil that had blinded and deafened him.

"Are you going to try to bite me again?" Alec asked.

"No." Aaron pouted.

"Are you going to try to take the remote?"

"No."

"Good."

"Come read with me, Aaron," Didi offered. Aaron sighed loudly before climbing onto Alec's other knee.

I reeled again at how quickly they grew and changed. It seemed I would put them to bed only to have a child two inches taller and three pounds heavier bouncing to wake me in the morning.

"Mommy, Mommy, Daddy says to get up." Didi loved jumping on our bed. I grunted when she landed on me. "Did I hurt you?" she asked, concerned.

"No, sweetie, you're just heavier than I expected." I cuddled her up beside me. Was it really only six months ago she was inside me? She was warm. It was so nice. I'd gotten Marcus warmed up to good temperatures, but it was nothing compared to the body heat of one of my pack, or a hybrid.

"Are you sad, Mommy?" she asked, turning her blue eyes up to mine.

"Not really, Didi. I'm just thinking how much I'm going to miss you being small once you're all grown up."

She hugged me. "I'll always be your little girl, Mommy."

I kissed the top of her head. "Thank you, sweetie. You know just what Mom needs to hear."

Aaron came in then and ruined the moment by dropping a dead snow leopard on the bed. "Out!" I shouted pointing.

"But there isn't even any blood left," he complained.

"Out!" I said again.

"Fine," he grumped, dragging his kill behind him by the tail.

I gave Didi one more kiss before pulling off my nightgown to phase. I tackled Aaron as soon as we were out of the door. His black hair was slightly curly, unlike Didi's, but his eyes were just as blue.

"No! No, Mom, your tongue tickles!" He squirmed and laughed as I licked his torso. "Stop! Didi! Help!"

She jumped on my back, her little teeth biting my ear. I turned my head tossing her next to her brother and licked her face. "Ack! No! Dad! Help!"

They were both squealing when Marcus came and lifted them, one over each shoulder. "Did you get their feet?" he asked me.

I barked with laughter, licking their soles while they giggled.

Marcus took all the pride and pleasure in fatherhood any man could. He liked to carry the twins although they hardly needed it. He'd wrap Didi in the crook of his arm and held Aaron by one ankle, just as Nessie had when he was born. He tucked them into their matching wolf beds. He made them toys. He played with them for hours.

I continued to work, but since all his crafts came from the house, Marcus was able to spend all his time with them. I envied him. I had taken most of that first year off – Canadians have awesome benefits – and spent the days with them, but when the time came to return to my clients, I dragged my feet the first few days. It helped that by that point their growth was slowing. They didn't seem to be changing daily anymore, just weekly. It also helped that my clients needed me. I did enjoy my work, and since I didn't have any more bloodsuckers to work with, the humans were satisfying the need.

Anytime I didn't spend with Didi, Suplicia was at her side. After all, she got along fine with Marcus while I wasn't home. Didi never understood why I didn't get along with 'Plicia, as she called her.

Marcus answered for me. "Suplicia and your Mom are the same end of a magnet." He grabbed a couple of fridge magnets to make his point. "They naturally repel each other. It's a part of each of them."

"So why doesn't one of them turn over?" She continued to demonstrate, flipping one of the magnets over.

He smiled broadly at her. "Which one do you suggest?"

Her eyes went wide. "Oh. I understand." She smiled and giggled. I fumed a little. They were saying I was stubborn. It was true, but I didn't like hearing it.

We kept the kids inside or in the yard as much as possible the first couple years. When anyone asked, they were our niece and nephew, or our cousin's kids. We didn't have a lot of friends who would want to come looking at our babies. When clients asked, I showed baby pictures. We had plenty of those. By the time they turned three though, Didi and Aaron were growing only slightly faster than human children. That was when they finally got to go public, if they wanted. Didi jumped at the chance. They couldn't attend school, their changes would be too obvious there, but she did play with the kids after class, not that there were many of them, and she would sit on the swing Marcus had put outside the hotel, waiting for tourists with children to come through. Even though she was brighter than any of them, she had no trouble interacting with other children.

Aaron, on the other hand, and probably for the best, did not rush out into town. He was still the wild child and preferred to run naked, climb cliffs, swim in the bay, ride polar bears – I nearly took a piece out of him myself when he did that. He missed Didi when she left though, and eventually donned shirt and shorts and went to join her. Then he was grounded back to the house again after breaking another boy's arm. He knew he was stronger; he knew the human wouldn't heal like us, and he had done it anyway. The boy was looking at Didi wrong.

"Well, guess what, little man, you don't get to break bones. Got it? Now you are not to go back into town for a month, and starting tomorrow you aren't to go outside the yard for a week. So you'd best go hunt with your father tonight if you don't want to be living on 'Mommy food' for the next week."

I resented that normal food was 'Mommy food' and looked down upon by both my children. It made a certain amount of sense. I wasn't the best cook in the world, and I never did anything flashy because it had always only been for me. Still, it made me feel, inferior - like my way was less correct than theirs. Didi, of course, noticed.

"Mom, can I help you?" she asked when I was grilling a sandwich in the kitchen. She was the size of a ten year-old although she wasn't even three yet.

"Sure sweetie. Put the meat and cheese between those slices there." I pointed.

"Why do you cook it?" she asked. She popped a slice of onion in her mouth. "It's better like this."

"Because I like it better this way," I explained flipping it over. "It's softer, warmer, and cooking changes the flavor."

"Yeah... it's not as good anymore."

I made a note to look into raw food recipes.

Marcus did a great job teaching the twins basic lessons. They were pretty much high school graduates by age five. Well, Aaron was a high school drop out. He knew it, but never ask him to show you, he'll spit in your face. By five they were also both obviously adolescent. Didi had her first cycle and she and I had a girls' party together. She knew how important my cycles were to me when I had them, so unlike some girls, myself included, she wasn't embarrassed or uncomfortable about hers, she was ecstatic.

"Daddy! Daddy! I can have babies!" She ran out of the bathroom to tell Marcus. I desperately wish I'd been home to see his face. I only heard about this incident that night. Of course, I wound up spending part of the night talking about boys and sex with my five year old daughter. It would have been more awkward if I hadn't been old enough to have a teenager, which I certainly was. As it was, it was just disturbing because she was so _young_! The boys around Churchill tended to be transient, so she didn't have any boyfriends per se. That was probably for the best. Aaron would likely have killed anyone she had managed to bring home.

Adolescence brought the other big change to our house and household. I was sitting, reading, in our bedroom when I heard a wolf howl.

Groaning I looked outside. Sure enough, there was a gigantic black wolf with blue eyes. "Damn it, Aaron, could you be a little less like me?" I shouted at him. Then I phased to share his mind.

He was as predatory on the inside as the outside. It scared me a little. Fortunately, it seemed, of our pack of two, I got Alpha duty. Good thing, I wasn't about to take orders from this brat. I would kick him out of my range first. I loved him to death, but he was as hot-headed as they came.

He also loved me to death. That was good to know. He didn't show it well, but in his head he couldn't hide the love he had for his family. He was protective of all of us, especially Didi. He thought of her as an extension of himself, not really a separate person, just more of him. All the nice parts of him. Not a bad description actually. Except that it wasn't true. Aaron had nice parts, he just hid them. And Didi had angry, primal parts, she just fought them. Still, it was obvious they were opposites as much as they were twins.

I found my first grey hair the day after Aaron phased the first time. I was shocked. I blamed him entirely. Of course, phasing to stop him from being a punk had halted the process again so I actually should have been thanking him; that wasn't going to happen.

Marcus took the hair and coiled it on his _Wei Ha_ for safe keeping. I didn't understand why he would hold it dear. I figured it would scare the crap out of him. I mean, it was proof I was still mortal – durable, but mortal.

The next grey hair came two years later when Didi went to University in Winnipeg. Not when she went, but while she was there. Aaron wasn't about to sit in a classroom, so he was still at home with us. I went into his room and found him unconscious on his bed. Now, for a shape-shifter boy, that's a pretty common sight. Not so common was his breathing, one breath a minute, or his heart-rate, that normally thrummed at near 160 beats per minute, that was currently under 60. I burst to his side, instantly afraid.

His eyes opened quickly. "Easy, Mom! I was just with Didi."

My brow furrowed and he pulled me outside, indicating he wanted to show me rather than tell me. I stripped down and phased beside him. The memory of him and Didi, bodiless, talking about their day, how the family was, her boyfriend – that pissed Aaron off, as I had known it would – and any number of other topics.

_How long?_

_Couple months. Didi found me first. Usually we meet in the morning while everyone thinks we're still asleep. Her roommate found her the one time..._

I saw Didi's memory. Her roommate trying to shake her and getting no response at first. She had reacted similar to how I would have if Aaron hadn't opened his eyes so quickly. She had dialled 9-11 and then had to explain that her unconscious roommate just 'woke up' and she didn't need an ambulance after all.

_So, you two have telepathy? _I really didn't understand.

_No. We can leave our bodies, become spirits. Talk to other spirits, like the animals._

I remembered the legends, the spirit warriors, Taha Aki and Utlapa.

_Yeah! Like that!_

I howled. That was dangerous; it was forbidden. It was impossible, wasn't it?

_I don't know if it's impossible, but I can do it. So can Didi._

_Wait, can Didi phase to a wolf?_

_No. She doesn't shape-shift. She just leaves her body, but we can hear each other even this far away. I miss her._

_I know you do Aaron. I'm worried. This isn't safe._

_What's going to happen to us? We're both in our beds when we do it. _

I didn't know what danger there might be, but I worried all the same. At the same time, I didn't have a way to stop them.

_We'll be careful. Don't worry._

I phased back to human, not wanting to share any more with him just now. I was scared. I wanted him cautious, not afraid. I also wanted to call my daughter. First, I would tell Marcus. If Aaron hadn't told him already, he needed to know.

* * *

This will bring us pretty close to the time when Didi goes to La Push to visit Seth. (To read about that, see Ephraim.) Thanks for keeping up with me.


	20. Chapter 20

If you haven't read Ephraim, Didi and Aaron show up over there and Aaron makes a right mess of things - surprise. I'm writing that time from the Clearwater perspective.

* * *

Didi surprised me at the end of our biannual trip to visit Seth and Mom. Especially since Charlie had passed, we'd been sure to visit every other year. Mom had moved closer to us, living in a home in St. Paul with nursing staff. I thought she should move in with us. Seth would've moved if he didn't still have both the house and store in LaPush. So we swapped around. This was our first time back in LaPush in a decade.

We kept a low profile, not wanting to draw attention. I was looking younger than Seth these days. Mom was still giving him a hard time about not finding a girl, or at least a nice boy to settle down with.

"Mom!" I burst on her when she suggested Seth might be looking for male company. "Enough. If Seth wanted someone, he'd have someone. Leave him alone." I was laughing as I said it though, imaging Seth finding a nice boy. "Unless he really does have a boyfriend hidden away somewhere."

Marcus chuckled with me and eventually Seth and the kids did as well.

"I'm not lonely, Mom. You aren't either, are you?" Seth asked. I turned to look at her. That was a good question. It had been a little over a decade since Charlie's passing, and this would be the last time Mom came out to meet us. She was so frail now. All in body though, as evidenced by her prior interrogation.

"No. I haven't had time to get lonely. Getting myself washed and fed takes almost all my time," she joked. "Nah, there are a bunch of nice ladies at Lakeside. I'm fine there." She met my eyes and they narrowed. "Just as I told you I'd be!"

I raised my hands in surrender. I had tried to convince her that a home was not the place for her, but long since given it up.

"No octogenarian men trying to break your other hip?" I asked.

Seth and Marcus laughed loudly while Mom beat me with her cane until Didi took over because her arm got tired.

It was a running gag. She'd broken her hip falling for a man in the home. She said she fell 'with' him - he fell and she went down too - but I liked my version better. Obviously the boys did too.

"Okay! I'm sorry!" I begged Mom to call Didi off before she broke the cane. It had been too long since I'd phased, it actually hurt.

"Damn, I'm getting old," I muttered, rubbing my bruised arm.

Marcus' eyes softened on me and he kissed my cheek. "There's a reason I try not to break you anymore," he whispered.

He was right! We'd been having 'old people' sex for years. "Well it stops now!" I stood up and started pulling my shirt off.

"Leah!" my mother chided.

I grumbled and sat down.

Seth was red from laughter and nearly falling out of his chair. "Welcome to the 'real world', Leelee."

I scowled at him, using that archaic nickname. I slouched. "Forget your real world," I moaned.

"Deal," he whispered.

Marcus cleared his throat. "As the oldest person here, I declare this argument childish and silly."

Didi laughed, no one else did. Aside from the kids he was the youngest seeming person in the room.

It didn't happen often, but just now it bothered me that I had grey hair and crow's feet while he still appeared to be in his twenties. I wondered idly if we looked odd together.

"Mom," Didi hissed, snapping me out of my funk. I smiled at her, grateful. My signs of age were also a sign of how long we had been together. I took Marcus' hand and fingered his _Wei Ha._

"Actually, Mom, there's something I wanted to ask you and Dad and Uncle Seth. Would it be all right if I stayed here? I visited the school yesterday and they need a new kindergarten and daycare worker. I really like it here; it feels like I belong. And I can help at the store," Didi added to Seth. "Mom's old room is empty," she also pointed out.

Seth held up his hands. "Fine by me, Didyme. I'm not lonely, doesn't mean I'm shunning company."

"You... want... to stay?" Aaron asked slowly. This could go badly. We hadn't told Jake that we were in town. A sudden wolf howl and Aaron would bring the Alpha down on us. And it _would_ be the Alpha, nothing less could keep that boy in line.

"Yes, Aaron. And you should go home with Mom and Dad, or go somewhere else. I know who I am without you." He flinched. "I think you should learn the same."

"Didi?" He sounded sad, betrayed.

"Excuse us," Didi said before laying her head on the table. Aaron followed her example.

"Do they do this often?" Mom asked.

"No," Marcus answered. "Not like this." He explained that the twins normally spent time together, as spirits, in the morning or night.

"Really? Like Spirit Warriors?" Seth clarified. "I mean, not just wolves, outside their bodies?"

I nodded. "Just like that." I watched Didi lift her head, blinking.

"I think I've convinced him, for a little while."

Aaron's head came up as a rumble escaped his chest. He strode out the door, shedding clothes as he walked.

"Don't attract attention," I called after him. I didn't know if he was planning to run the whole way home, or just burning off steam. I'd find out soon.

"Well, this was a delightful visit," I said, only slightly sarcastically. I kissed Mom's cheek. "You have a safe flight home."

"I'll be fine. You worry too much."

"Mom, you're ninety, can I worry too much?"

"Yes." She glared at me.

"Have a nice visit with Seth, Didi. Let us know if you need us to send you anything."

She hugged me and laughed. "I have enough clothes for a week. I'll buy more if I need them."

"You make sure my daughter doesn't fall in with the wrong crowd." I pointed at Seth.

He cocked an eyebrow. "There's a crowd? There's more than one crowd?"

I laughed, unable to argue with that. I kissed Marcus, tipping his head over the back of his chair, my tongue grazing his lower lip until his eyes closed.

"I'll meet you at the lake," I told him. "An hour?"

He nodded. It probably wouldn't take more than that to determine whether or not Aaron was coming with us.

I walked outside and left my clothes on the step with Aaron's. Marcus would bring both.

_Brat!_

_Leave me alone._ He was still hurting.

_Come on. She loves you. You know that. Give her some time to herself again. It's been long enough since the last time. _A whole decade. And he had never spent time out of pack range of me.

_You don't want me either?_

_Of cour__se I do. I've spent a decade __out__ of your mind, if you recall..._ Living in a house with him was very different from being in his head.

_She won't miss me, will she?_

He was moping. It drove me insane. He was spending a bit of time away from his sister; it wasn't as though she were dying.

_I still had her when she went to Winnipeg._

He was still whining.

_YOU MUST LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT HER!_ I wasn't a true Alpha, but be damned if I couldn't put my foot down with my own son. I remembered losing my father. I remembered how it hurt, having him there every morning when I woke, until the one he wasn't. Coming down to breakfast and seeing the extra coffee in the pot, the empty spot at the table, the unused easy-chair.

I heard Aaron's whimper and saw his memories of the same when Didyme attended class – her clothes hanging in the closet, her perfectly made bed.

He was near me now. He came out of trees beside me, a tear in his eye. I phased and opened my arms.

Aaron phased as well and entered my hug. "I love you, Mom. You'll stay with me."

"I love you, Aaron. I wish you wouldn't need me, but I'll be here for you, forever." His head came up, still hurt. In some ways he was still a child. "I wish you were surer of yourself. You don't need us."

He shook his head. "I don't want to." He growled at me, pushing me away. He ran in the direction of the lake.

I didn't feel angry or even disappointed at his rejection. I felt bad for Aaron. He had such a hard time showing his softer emotions. I remembered being the same. He would learn; it would get better.

I walked to the lake, enjoying the feeling of the air on my skin, the familiar sights and smells of home. Neither man was troubled by waiting for me. Aaron would need time to talk with Marcus, too.

Marcus met me on the shore. Aaron was already in the plane. My husband held my clothes out to me.

"Thank you." I carried them in my arms. Marcus was at my side, his hand on my hip, caressing my buttock. I sighed at the familiar chill and resulting burn. I had plans for him when we got home.

I tossed my clothes into the seaplane ahead of me. Aaron sat in the back, shirtless.

"No clothes, Mom?"

I shrugged. He was, of course, accustomed to seeing me naked. Marcus was grinning as he did his pre-flight checks. I caught sight of the occasional glance he gave me, and his hand found my knee and thigh.

"Why don't you go visit the others?" I asked Aaron as we landed, encouraging him to go to the hotel.

He wrinkled his nose, sensing my intentions, no doubt. I started to pull on my clothes. I got one leg in my pants and dropped them. Aaron was out of sight. I pulled Marcus off the wharf and into the water. He chuckled. I attacked his clothes, shredding them with my hands. He growled low in his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me I'd been tamed?" I asked against the skin of his throat, my nails digging into his back, just shy of breaking the skin; not because I was careful, because they weren't sharp or hard enough. I reached between us in the water, running my hand over his hardened length.

"God, if you've tamed, you certainly haven't cooled at all."

I smiled, thrilled he enjoyed my touch, that my heat wasn't diminished.

"I'm not so sure you've tamed, either. You are still wild, uncontrolled, a force of nature." His voice was fuelling me, making me hotter.

"So we haven't been having 'old people' sex?"

He laughed loudly. "I don't know what that is! I would think, being around for several centuries, I have had a lot of old people sex."

I had to laugh when he put it like that. "I haven't changed?" I asked, still smiling.

His kiss was full of passion. My lips still tingled from the chill and his tongue traced my teeth. "You are always changing," he whispered once I was breathless. "You haven't stopped changing. That is what fascinates me. I haven't changed in so long, but you... You are a mother; you have grey hair. There fine lines here and here." He kissed the corner of my mouth and eye.

I was getting old. That didn't stroke my ego one little bit. He caught on quickly, though.

"You go from hot to cold, from hard to soft to hard. You are a friend to those you should hate. You are always learning, adapting. You can't know how I envy you." He brushed the hair from my cheek, kissing me gently.

"Can I change back then?" I asked. He quirked an eyebrow and I clarified. "Can I be the foolish new imprint who can't control herself? The new wife who can't bear to wait when you take your time making love to her?"

He chuckled. "You can be anything, anyone you want to be."

I pulled Marcus to me, leaning on the wharf. "Break me. Make me who I was again."

He closed his eyes briefly. "I'm not sure I can do that."

I knew he could. I knew I could drive him to it, and I would.

I pushed him against the dock, my hips over his. I resisted him entering me, teasing him. I skated over his tip, maddening myself, even as I provoked him. He kept his hold on me gentle, even as he tried to press my hips down onto him.

"No," I told him. "You're going to have to take me."

He growled low in his throat again and his lips closed on my shoulder, his eyes darkening. "You play with fire."

"You play with fire," I told him, thrusting my hips into his belly, rubbing the heat of my sex over his abs.

"God. I don't want to hurt you. You don't heal like you used to."

"I will. I will be what you make me, just as I have always been." I bit on his lip, pulling it into my mouth and listening to his breathing break further.

He growled a last time and flipped me face down on the wharf, my hips on its edge. He lifted to his elbows on either side of me before thrusting into me.

"Yes," I hissed as I felt my hips bruising on the rough wooden planks. "Like that. Harder."

"You've made me hungry," he whispered, his tongue on my ear. I shivered. "I haven't changed, Leah. I want you as much as I've always wanted you." He released me only to thrust as hard again. I moaned into the dock, my nails digging into the boards to hold on. He pulled out again and my weight pulled me into the water until he pinned me again. His hands were now between me and the dock, but he was picking up speed. Still pulling completely from me each time, but crushing me in his grip. I felt the bruises deepen, spread. The pinching in my back was becoming more painful.

Through the haze of pain, the rough rasp of the boards of the dock, I felt the pleasure. His fingers were spread along the edges of my lower lips, each thrust brushing me slightly. His balls were swinging up, rubbing the inside of my thighs. I was panting on each thrust, still scrabbling on the wood of the dock, pulling myself out of the water. He was no longer braced on the wharf and I was the one holding us up. My arms strained, my hips were on fire, and my pussy was being pounded. He felt so good in me, and at the same time he was tearing me apart, shaping me from the inside, turning me into his wife, the woman who loved him, the woman who needed him, and the woman who wanted to be what he needed.

He was close, which was good because I couldn't take a lot more. All the pieces were laying there before him, waiting for him to pick them up. On his last thrust, he pressed me further up the wharf, both our thighs on the rough wood now. My cheek was scraped and bleeding slightly, my breasts were raw, and he had fractured my hip. I panted in pain.

He lowered himself slowly over my back; his breath was even and slow, with the occasional catch. Fighting my body's desire to lie still, I rolled away from him so I could look at him. He was trying to sob.

"What?" I whispered, my throat as raw as the rest of me.

"You're still hurt," he murmured. "I never want to hurt you."

I shook my head. How little he understood. "I asked you to." I shifted now to lay my healing cheek against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, still shaking slightly. Almost all the abrasions were healing now. The hip was going to take a while. "I want to be what you make me." I closed my eyes, exhausted. It hadn't been a short day, and that had been a serious work out. "Can you carry me home?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Leah," he still sounded awful.

"Marcus, I wanted this. I'm sorry if you didn't. I wasn't trying to make you do something you'd regret." My voice caught now. Was being tired making me emotional? He'd better not have gotten me knocked up again. I couldn't handle another Aaron.

He kissed my head. "Okay. I'll try not to regret it. If you'll try not to limp."

I laughed. "Promise! Will you still carry me home?" I asked with a yawn.

"Of course I will. I'll carry you anywhere."

* * *

Thanks to Sharebear, my ever vigilent beta!


	21. Chapter 21

Aaron managed to stay in Churchill a month. Didi was having a great time with Seth. She called once a week to let us know how she was doing. It was during her third call that she told me she'd met a nice boy named Joe on the reservation and was dating him. I didn't know Aaron was listening behind me until he let out a howl and started running.

"Is that what I think that is?" Didi asked, obviously unamused.

"Yep. I'm going to phase and talk to him, but I think you should probably tell Seth to expect him."

"Well, I got a few weeks worth of quiet time," she said with a chuckle. "Crap, he heard about Joe, didn't he? He really needs to stop breaking my boyfriends, Mom. It puts a serious crimp on my sex life."

I laughed aloud. "I don't doubt it. You just need to get a boy who can heal himself up."

"Oh, shut up," she complained, obviously not enjoying the joke as much as I did.

She had managed to have sex without Aaron killing her partner. The lucky boy had ended up in hospital for a week, but he was fine, nothing more than a few scars to show for it. Of course, Didi never got another date. By the time he was out of hospital, she was back in Churchill. It was probably for the best. Aaron was a jealous brother.

"I love you, Didi. Look after yourself, and warn the boy."

She growled. "I will. And I might have to find someone to rip Aaron apart for me. Jacob Black is Alpha, right?"

"Didi..." I warned. We hadn't been part of Jacob's pack; I didn't want to strain that relationship if I didn't have to.

"I know, I know. I'm just saying, if he gets out of control, and you're not here..."

"Yeah, Jake would be the man to see, I suppose. Just keep me in the loop. I can be there in a couple hours."

"Right. I will. Go try to stop him, please?"

I agreed and phased in the backyard.

_Hey, mutt!_

_I'm not going to let some mangy human..._

_You know how bad that image comes across don't you?_ It was a man with dread-locked hair and a tangled beard. _You don't really think your sister's taste is THAT bad,__ do you?_

_No. I'm not going to let some boy take her away from me._

_Aaron, she's going to have boyfriends. This is one of the reasons she wants time away from you, do you get that? She's tired of you butting into every relationship she tries to make._

_She just has to let me be part of them, too. The part that breaks their bones._

_Aaron!_ I had told him on more than one occasion that he had no right to injure humans. He refused to obey me and my control of him only extended so far. It definitely didn't extend as far as La Push. I remembered her mention of Jacob.

_The Alpha can control you in ways I can't. You be careful there. Mind your sister; don't push her. She has every right to call Jacob Black down on you._

He growled but couldn't disagree.

Marcus came out of the garage, covered in saw dust. Had I barked? I supposed I had. I phased back, unable to rein Aaron in this time.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"Your son has decided to defend his sister's honor, yet again."

Marcus wiped the dust from his face with a sigh. "Again. Are you going after him?"

"Not yet. I'll keep in touch with them at Seth's; go if they need me."

"Didyme has a new boyfriend?" he asked with a smile.

I smiled too. "Yes, high school senior, baseball player, doesn't sound like her type, but I don't know that she's dated enough to figure out what her type is." We were both happy to hear she was getting a chance to find happiness with someone other than family.

I kept in touch with the kids over the next month. I was surprised when Didyme told me a wolf had imprinted on her. I didn't know there were any in La Push aside from Jacob. Marcus and I were even more confused when she pointed out she was still dating Joe, and barely managing to keep Aaron off him.

What really got me was Didi's response to Marcus' desire to check that this was a true imprinting. _He'll live?_ That wasn't like Didi. She was usually so considerate. Aaron must be pushing her to her limits.

Marcus was obviously stuck on the same thought. "I'm going," he declared. "I want to see it for myself. Do you want to come?"

I shook my head. "They need time away from us, learn to live on their own. Not that you shouldn't go," I amended immediately. "Just, don't stay?"

He smiled and nodded. "Absolutely. I want to push them out of the nest, too. I don't like sharing you when I don't have to." He kissed my temple. His cool touch was wonderful on a hot day like today.

"You going to leave tonight then?" It was clear and would be sunny until midnight or later. June was a terrible month for Marcus, just as December was for me.

"Unless you think I should wait?"

I sat down again in one of the lawn chairs, steepling my fingers. Marcus brought me a cup of coffee. I smiled at him and took a sip. "I'm not sure. Part of me wants to keep our hands right out of it, but I'm just as damned curious as you are."

"I know. If it is an imprint..."

"Why the other boy? If it's recent, maybe she just hasn't had a chance to break it off yet? That would be a reason to wait, give her time to do it her way."

"I suppose. All right. I'm going to start making love to you, and when you pass out I'm going." He grinned mercilessly.

I laughed loudly, calling his bluff. "So tonight then, why didn't you say so?"

He laughed too. "Well, what else am I supposed to do in all this damned sunshine?"

Fifty years and he still used that excuse. June was my favourite month. "Well, that could work. As long as you promise to let me rest when the sun does set." I smirked at him now.

"Oh, we're bargaining now, are we?" He was keen.

"Maybe..."

"Do I get to wake you at dawn?"

"Depends how you wake me." I started walking backwards, my hands unbuttoning his shirt.

"Coffee, iced?"

I nearly purred. Most men would never remember something like that. Vampires couldn't forget, they just had to make that small effort to bring the memory back.

_I leaned back and took another sip of the dark brown, hot, elixir of wakefulness. Mmmm coffee._

_"I think I'm becoming envious of that cup," Marcus said, watching me intently._

_I laughed. "Really?" I quirked an eyebrow. Then I put my lips to the rim again, filled my mouth and rolled it with my tongue, closing my eyes. I could feel him watching me._

_The cup was suddenly replaced by a cold hand and all the heat in my mouth was being sucked away by cold lips. His tongue was running along mine and the little coffee that remained underneath instantly chilled. Then he backed away. I took a deep breath when he did and opened my eyes again._

_"I'm not a fan of iced coffee," I told him. "Well, I didn't used to be." I swallowed and reached out for my cup, which he still held._

_"Are you planning to tempt me again?" he asked, moving to hover inches from my face._

_I smiled and took another tantalizing sip. Again his mouth cooled the liquid in mine and I chuckled as I swallowed this time._

I kissed him and pulled myself up, wrapping my legs around him. "I think we have a deal."

"Excellent."

* * *

I managed to go practically without sleep for three days, but my days as a human limited how far my body could be pushed. I was still a puddle of goo when his cold kiss on my cheek roused me. "Morning already?"

He chuckled. "It wasn't night, Leah. I'm off. I'll be back in a day or two."

"Right. More sleep. Hurry back."

He snickered some more before plopping me into a tub he had run for me. "Now, no drowning," he warned. "You get out of there before you pass out again."

I chuckled sleepily. "I will." I slipped under the water. His cool lips met mine under the water and I laughed out the rest of my air. "Get going, or you'll miss the night." I swatted a wet hand at him.

"Okay. I'll be fast."

"You better be." It hurt like hell to be away from him, especially as far as this.

I slept the next fourteen hours. Chelsea woke me up with a cup of coffee. "Marcus is on the phone." She handed that to me after the coffee.

"Thank you," I croaked. I sipped the hot drink before speaking into the phone. "Hello?"

"You have no idea how good you sound."

I chuckled. "That's only because Chelsea told you I've been asleep since you left, isn't it? I sound like crap." I felt like crap. There was a nasty crick in my neck, and I needed to pee.

"That might have something to do with it." Dammit, he _sounded _smug.

"So, what's the word?"

"She's imprinted, all right. She expects Joe to move away at the start of summer and break things then. The boys are friends, as it turns out, so the wolf agreed to wait. Unfortunately, Joe still hasn't made his moving plans final, so they're hanging in limbo right now."

"And Aaron?"

"What do you think?"

I sighed. If I knew Aaron, he would have his back up twice as much now. "So, you're coming home?"

"Soon, yes. I'll stay through tomorrow so I can land in the dark. I'll call you tomorrow to let you know I've left."

"Okay. I'll make sure I'm rested enough for a homecoming."

He laughed loudly. "I think I like this _carpe diem_ attitude you've adopted." I could hear a groan and chuckle in the background.

"Tell those boys to stuff it and hurry home."

"I will. It hurts to be away from you," he said quietly.

"Does it ever. Now I really gotta go." I was standing in the bathroom as I said it. He must have heard the echo because he laughed at me.

* * *

The next day came and went without a phone call. It might have been because my imprint was so far away, or it might have been because my house was empty, which was almost never the case. Either way, I had a very bad feeling when I woke the next morning and still hadn't gotten a call. I phoned up Seth. No one answered. I tried Didi's number, also nothing.

I bought a ticket for the next train to Winnipeg and didn't stop calling until an hour before it left. I never got through to anyone. I phased as soon as I was able. I wasn't sure Winnipeg was close enough to reach Jacob's pack, but Churchill was near the limit, so it should be.

_Hello, boys._ There were two wolves in the pack. One was familiar.

_Mom!_

_Hey, mutt. How're you and your sister? She didn't call last night and Seth isn't answering the phone._

A third mind joined us.

_Hello, who's that?_

_The mutt that imprinted on Didi._ I saw Didi through this pup's eyes. Oh yeah, that was an imprint. No doubt about that.

_Ah-ha. Just the man I was looking for._ I knew I only had tenuous control over Aaron; I probably had none over this pup. He seemed surprised I would call him a man. I started to try to get to know him through his mind, size up who he was, if he was any good for my girl.

He was looking for the same information from me, including scent. Well that was a damn good idea. Why hadn't I ever thought to do that before? He had mine, Marcus' and the others' quickly. I learned that he was Jacob's son. Well that made sense. Why did he go wolf, though? And he had taken Alpha from him? That really surprised me. Of course, I wasn't staying in the pack, so who was Alpha didn't really bother me any.

That just left the third wolf. Older, but phased recently. _Who is the puppy?_

_Joe is Claire and Quil's son._ I saw the pair of them, well, I thought it was Quil... at their son's graduation from Forks High School.

_Damn, Quil got old. Seth got old too __didn't he?_ My son had the nerve to show off my human grey hairs. _Stuff it, brat. You gave me the first one, you know that. _It had been the first day he phased. I hadn't phased in several years before that, and I had started to age, but that first grey hair came immediately after the shock of finding a howling black wolf in my backyard.

Then I thought about the information I'd just been given - Joe was Quil and Claire's kid.

_Joe... You're the boyfriend? _This kid I also wanted to know. Unlike the first wolf, Ephraim, he didn't resist me. He showed me every detail of his relationship with Didi. She was happy. He was a great kid. It was a shame Aaron had shown up and ruined it. Well, Ephraim did a good job of ending it, too. It was pretty obvious when she put the brakes on Joe and his advances.

_That was when she met you, wasn't it? _Joe asked.

_Yeah. _Ephraim agreed.

_Sorry, man._

_You didn't do anything to apologize for. _His thoughts turned to me and I felt his anger. Rather than upset, it made me want to laugh.

_You __better not be looking at me, pup. Marcus and I couldn't understand why she'd still be with one if she was imprinted on another. That's why he came. He wanted to be sure it was a _real _imprint._

_Well it is._ He snapped. He thought of me as a bitch. I growled. I didn't take that from anyone but myself. I was a little surprised Aaron was standing up to the Alpha for me.

_Besides, Marcus agreed that it was an imprint. _Ephraim showed me Marcus' arrival, his effect on the Joe when he came to propose. Damn, poor Didi, that would have been hard for her. Then Aaron attacking, completely out of control, and finally seeing Marcus and Nessie over Aaron's resurrected corpse.

He bit Aaron? He _killed_ Aaron? How dare he? How dare he kill our son? I pointed my nose straight to La Push and started running. The bond between us gave me a perfect bead on where he was, how far away. The distance was shortening.

_Uh-oh. _Aaron mused.

_What? What are you doing? Where are you going? _Ephraim asked.

_She's coming for Dad._ Aaron's mind was fixed on his father. _We have to warn him._

_You do that, _I thought. _I want him afraid. _I wanted him to know I was coming.

They all phased out and I was glad for the quiet. It let me mourn. How could he? How could he hurt our babies? Aaron had been out of control, but to bite him? That was like biting me! How could he do it? I suddenly felt as though he _had_ bitten me. I was dying even as I was filled with burning life, running for all I was worth. I was glad I had rested so much since he left. I was going to run until I dropped. I hadn't even done that when he and I were leaving Seattle. I had never done this. I had never felt this.

This was what Jacob felt. It was like he was dead, or I was. I couldn't handle the grief, the hurt, so I let myself go to the bitch and ran.

Ephraim appeared a while later; the bitch was in full control of me, more than she had been ever before. I saw Marcus in his head, covering his face with his hands; he looked defeated.

_Good, just the way I like him. _What? Had the bitch really taken over that much? I didn't want him broken.

_Are you really going to hurt him?_

I gained a little control over her again. I couldn't phase back, so it was tenuous. _A little. You'll understand when you're older. _I thought about how he'd broken me, but never beaten me. I might tear him apart, but I never wanted him to lose the fight. I wanted to give and take. I wanted him to feel what his actions had meant to me. I wanted to understand why he did it.

Ephraim was confused, of course. _Don't try, kid.__ Takes time, often a little heartbreak, to figure it out._

_I'll take your word for it._ I saw Jacob briefly through his eyes. He hadn't changed at all. I felt older again. I pushed harder, letting the bitch take over again. The small corner of my brain, where 'Leah, the woman' hid, was still thinking about Marcus, trying to fathom a situation so dire he would hurt his own son.

Ephraim phased in again, but he was fuzzy, out of focus. His thoughts didn't quite make sense. _What did you do? _I wondered.

_I'm not a wolf, so you can't understand as well, different mind._

_Ah. What are you doing?_ I could see through his eyes more clearly now. Didi was playing with the children outside at the school. It didn't look much different than when I had been there. I could see how happy she was, surrounded by the tiny smiling faces. Didi would be a natural mother, better than me. She found such peace among their chaos.

I was glad Didi hadn't had trouble finding a calling. Aaron was still so aimless. Marcus and I had each found jobs, tasks, that made us happy.

_Why are you going to hurt him? _It was easier to understand him when he addressed me. His idle thoughts were a colourful jumble I couldn't sort out.

_It is hard to explain. I love him very much. _I remembered imprinting on Marcus, keeping him to his diet. I remembered how I stopped him when he went after hikers in the parks, how he stopped me, or didn't, when the bitch took over. How we each had a demon and we each led the other.

Ephraim was focused on something specific. I got Didi out of it, but other than that, it was still that colourful blur.

_You're confusing me, kid._

His next thoughts were much easier to decipher. He was looking at Didi the way Marcus looked at me. She was sharp and vibrant through his eyes.

_Yep, you're in love. At least you're keeping her clothes on._

I head a hawk's cry from him and managed to make out Joe and Didi in his thoughts.

_Holy crap, are you a bird? _I mean, he'd said he was different, but, wow.

_Yes._

He cried again in response to Didi.

_She looks happy,_ I observed.

_She is._

Ephraim focused on my running.

_I haven't run like this in years. It feels fabulous. I bet I could go for twelve hours before I break. Probably put me in Alberta or Montana, depending how far south I swing. I'll be there tomorrow._

_You're going to tear him apart__?_ he asked me, picturing Marcus again.

_I might. _I remembered the last time he had done something that had made me snap like this, the last time the bitch had completely taken over. I whined slightly, remembering coming to myself to see the _WeiHa_ I had recently given him on the tundra around his severed wrist. I fought even harder. That had been decades ago. I knew how to do this. _I__'m in control this time,_ I told myself._ The bitch doesn't own me._

_Then why do it?_

_He needs to understand._ He needed to know how he hurt me. I wanted to know why he would do such a horrible thing. I wanted to purge the anger.

I saw Didi even more clearly through Ephraim's eyes. He was sitting with her now. Then he phased out. When he came back I could feel his pleasure even though his form didn't match my own.

_Ah, young love._ I mused. He wasn't with me long, and I had somewhere to be, someone to meet.

I didn't stop for plains, I didn't stop for cars. This stretch of country was barren enough, people would assume I was a coyote from a distance. They would need perspective to know how large I was. I would reach Marcus, and he would deal with me.

* * *

Someone asked about Aaron dying in a review. Obviously he isn't dead, he's talking to Leah through the pack mind. He did 'die' though. In Ephraim, he attacks Joe and Ephraim, resulting in fast action from Marcus and Nessie to stop him. Nessie, from previous experience (see On My Own), knew that venom could stop a hybrid heart. That was when Marcus bit Aaron, killing his body. Nessie used adrenalin to restart his heart right away, but not before he broke off his fight, returning to his body. For more information see Ephraim Chapter 13: Showdown.


	22. Chapter 22

The bitch had me, and in the run I had nothing to fight her with. Her nature, in the simple motions, was my own: the coil and release, the wind in my face, the heat of the sun on my fur and skin, the smell of grass and flowers and sage. It was easy to forget why I was running, especially when I was so fresh, so ready to run.

I had no pups, I had no mate, I was free, a lone wolf.

_Lone, my ass!_

_Jacob!_ The bitch was beat down a little by the former Alpha, and I was thrilled to share the mind of my friend again. It had been half a century.

_Hey, don't get mushy on me._

That gave the bitch the reins again.

_I just forgot how simple it was, _I explained._ Haven't you started thinking about something besides cars and girls?_

_Yeah! Kids!_ He wasn't Alpha, and he wasn't sad about it. It gave him the freedom I'd taken advantage of years ago. He wasn't tied to La Push any longer.

_Not right away, but when Ephraim's ready, we're going to take full advantage of it. Nessie's excited._

_I'm happy for you, Jacob. I never meant for my kids to make such a mess of your lives. I'm glad there is some sort of silver lining._

_I have barely met either of them. When you go low, you lie low! _The image was of a badger, buried in his hole. I was unimpressed by it.

_And what did you and that freak breed anyway? _I wondered_ I thought my kids were odd. Only one shifts at all, and then only to a wolf._

_Odd? How're they odd?_

I remembered coming in to wake Aaron, immobile on his bed, pulse and breathing slow.

_Oh! Ephraim does that, too._

I had figured that out through his memories of Didi and fighting Aaron.

_Some throw back? _Jacob mused.

_Sounds like a question for your wife and in-laws. I have no idea._

_I heard your boy was out of control. Tried to kill Eph and Joe Ataera. I was in town. By the time I got out, it was over, and Eph was Alpha. I'm glad Marcus and Ness were..._

His thoughts drifted as I growled, pushing harder, reaching for more speed. This was _his_ fault too.

_Leah, you know it's no one's fault. Nothing happened._

_MY SON DIED! Nothing happened? Keep clear of me, Jake. Without the Alpha command, I might turn on you, too. _I hoped my guilt and regret made it through along with the bitch's threat.

_Heh, I can't outrun you, but I'll have a head start!_ He remembered some of our races. I threw in some of the run with Marcus to Churchill; he added parts of his run into Canada before the wedding.

His son joined us on memory lane. _Ephraim, what brings you? _The boy recalled setting up a date with Didi, and his mother learning that I was on my way. The bitch exalted at that.

_I better go see that she's Okay._ Jake phased out, leaving me with a very young Alpha wolf. The bitch gave over just a little in his presence.

He sensed the bitch's glee though, and it surprised him.

_I like people to know their places. Your Mom overstepped hers._

The boy was rightfully worried about me attacking his mother. As bad as threatening his father, I could kill either one of them.

_I could kill your Mom. I can't kill Marcus, so I'll take my anger out on him. He made the bigger misstep anyway, biting his own son. _I used the Alpha against the bitch, regaining control. _So, dinner with Didi. What do you think o__f that?_

He didn't think in words much, simply remembering Didi feeding on a cougar, one drop of blood sliding from the corner of her mouth. I felt how aroused it made him, how new the sensation was to him. It had shocked him right out of his fur that first time.

_You're young. Keep that memory; remember when that was enough to get __you__ going. Go back when you can._ I remembered how difficult sitting in Marcus' lap had been, for him and for me. How much damage that first time had caused. How easily his touch aroused me. Then I remembered how far he had taken me, how long he had kept me on the edge of orgasm, how much time he would take.

I felt Ephraim's discomfort and reluctantly shook the thoughts off. The bitch didn't have any place in those, and I nearly had control back for a moment. But it was too much for him, he was too young. _Damn, sorry, kid. You got me a little worked up, too. _I hoped my gratitude came through.

_Maybe I'll have to steal him again._ That had been unreal, feeling him moving inside me, watching him reconnect. Then again... _It was fun, but way too weird._

The Alpha phased again, not out, but to a new shape. I felt bad. _I really am sorry!_

_I just... distance._ The thoughts were hard to understand. He phased completely out soon after, though not for long. I was still on the same open pasture.

I saw his plan to chase Didi, feed with her. That was good; she'd like that. He also seemed uncomfortable with my presence.

_You don't want my advice?_

_Will your advice be anything you'd let me do with your daughter?_

Bless the boy, the laughter almost pushed the bitch away completely again. Unfortunately, that was also the moment we encountered a bear.

_Is that you or me? _He wondered.

_Me._ I lunged at the bear full on. I must have reached the Rockies to be finding bears; I was faster than I thought. I didn't fight the bear, simply pouncing and running on. _Bah, he can't catch me._

_I can't catch you And I can't catch Didi, either. Damn, I hate being the slow one._ He whined. I hated whining. Still, I responded as I would with Aaron. One chance to snap him out of it.

_You're as fast as thought, kid. You're fast where you need to be._

It worked. He perked right up. I wished it worked like that with Aaron.

Through Ephraim's eyes, I saw Didyme, feeding on a doe. Ephraim lunged for the hind, and I tried to pay less attention as the smell, taste and texture of raw meat came across our minds. I had never gotten used to it. It required giving in to the bitch to eat raw meat at all. I didn't intend to do that again.

They didn't take long to finish off the deer.

"You sure know how to show a girl a good time," Didi teased the boy. She was thrilled in fact; it was obvious from her face.

Ephraim was still unsure.

_Yeah, she likes it. She tried to go all human food once; drove her crazy, but i__t was hard to hunt on campus._ I recalled one particularly whiny phone call, after which I had sent her to a butcher, just to give her an option. Then I remembered watching her and Aaron. Even when they were tiny and sharing baby seals and foxes, they loved feeding together.

_She is always glad to have someone to share with._

_I've eaten like this with Mama._ I was shown several hunts with Nessie, including one she didn't share. So, Jake's kid wasn't perfect. Good. Didi would need that. As long as he was more temperate than Aaron.

He phased out again and I started to feel my weariness. I would need to rest soon. I was well past half-way now. It didn't make sense to turn around, and Didi was in La Push. She had a way of pacifying even Aaron; she could help me fight down the bitch.

Ephraim phased in again.

_Did Aaron tell you?_

_Tell me what?_

Ephraim recalled sitting with Didi and Marcus. Didi had said he knew what I wanted. He had agreed and planned to wait for me on Crescent Lake. It was secluded, near the border. No one besides Didi and Marcus in the room seemed to know what the other did. Didi spelled it out for Ephraim.

"_She wants him to win. She wants him to make her see that she isn't right."_

I didn't make sense to Ephraim. Why would violence win an argument? The answer lie buried deep within me. He might have found it, he was Alpha, but he didn't delve.

_Didyme has understood me since the day she was born. And no matter how she grows, she'll never be like me. She'll never fight the bitch. I am going to beat her one day._

When had I become so separate, so divided? It was before I had met Marcus that I had first tried to banish the bitch, but she only ever had fleeting control. We had too much in common. Marcus, he made her easier to fight, for longer. He had me longing for things she didn't, a home and family outside the pack, human things. It was only after I met him that I lost control for longer than a second.

I remembered more clearly when Marcus had blocked me from Alec. The complete loss of control then.

Now I remembered what I had blocked then. I had enjoyed it! My teeth had rung on his marble flesh, making my soul sing. The piercing sweetness had felt perfect on my tongue. The woman hid, just as she had then, only this time I was _in_ the wolf. No one, especially not Chelsea, would be coming to pull me out.

Was I actually losing? Was I conscious through her control because I couldn't get it back? I was definitely fading. It was late and I had run for hours. My blinks were getting longer and shorter between.

I found a secluded dip and lie down under the shrubs there, good enough for the night.

Ephraim was still struggling with the concept of _the bitch._ Fair enough, so was I. When I laid down though, he stopped thinking about it, focusing instead on the stars, the hooting owls. My eyes drifted shut.

_Thank__s, kid. Sweet dreams to you too._ Didi would do well with that one. And she'd finally found a boy who could not only heal, he could stand _over_ Aaron! They would be happy. I hoped I could still be happy.

* * *

I woke alone in the pack. None of the wolves were with me as I pushed the rest of the way to Lake Crescent, maintaining my punishing pace. Well, Marcus shouldn't have any trouble kicking my ass if he chose to; I would be beat.

I caught his and Aaron's scents, and the bitch went rabid. If it had been Marcus alone, I might have kept control, but Aaron's scent brought back the memory of him, lying dead between Marcus and Nessie. Rather than fight, I hid. My body snarled, lunging for the shimmering beacon that was my husband, lit by the morning sun.

He was so beautiful. He hadn't changed since the day I had imprinted on him. Except for his eyes, they were dark burnished gold today. I watched, helpless as my body attacked him.

"Not this time, Leah." He grabbed my muzzle and twisted, flipping me onto my back. I pulled free and circled. The bitch was enraged that he would fight me; he had always stood, accepting, letting her sate her desire for his pain. I cheered. I had always wanted him to stop me, to make me back down.

The divide between my mind and my body widened, separating the woman further from the bitch. I left my body entirely. I was watching myself fight, lunge, dodge, circle.

I felt presences with me.

_Mom._

_I'll get Aaron,_ the other thought.

_Go back._

There was so much more, but I wasn't one of them, not really. I couldn't grasp everything their minds were sharing. I was sure I knew who they were though, Didi and Ephraim. Aaron joined them, my children guiding me back to my body. Didi was trying to tell me something. I stilled my mind, ignoring the fight, so I could hear her.

_You love Aaron, love yourself. You _are_ the bitch._

I caught her deep concern even more than her words. I was killing myself and I had pushed my husband to help me do it. I couldn't; I wasn't ready to die yet. I seized my body back, embracing the other half of myself.

My body hurt. Marcus had crushed three of my ribs and broken my forelimb. I had bled from scrapes and gouges where he had thrown me into trees; most of those were closed now. I'd given as good. He was down a hand and a large chunk had been torn from one of his legs. He was favouring his right side, so I swung round to the left.

I went for his throat. I was the bitch; there was no mercy. He had to fight me, to stop me. It was what _I_ wanted. The bitch revelled in the fight and the woman revelled in the love it took to stand up to me. We moved together.

He had no hand on this side to grab me with, but he closed his elbow around my chest and turned his head, his mouth open in a roar. His teeth came down behind my ear, and I screamed in pain.

He dropped me in shock, and I was human by the time I hit the ground. The wolf whine turned into a human scream. The venom burned like ice cutting through me. I felt it spreading with my pulse, pulled toward my heart. An icy line shot down my neck, marking that vein out to me. One more beat...

"No!" Marcus bit me again, opening the wound and drawing blood. I felt a strange pinching as the blood was pulled against its normal flow, but the ice receded with it.

Thump – ice surged forward and Marcus pulled it back.

Thump – I could feel the freezing even though my screaming had stopped. I was becoming light-headed.

Thump – the ice was at my skin again and Marcus drew the last of it from me.

Thump – no ice, no pain, just weakness. I was seeing spots. Marcus was still drinking.

"Stop." It was a faint whisper before I lost consciousness completely

* * *

Drip – I was alive.

Drip – I was in a bed, in a dark room.

Drip – I opened my eyes and was looking at an I.V. bag, the source of the dripping. I groaned.

"Oh, thank God." Marcus wrapped his arms around my neck. He peppered my face in tiny kisses. "You were alive, but we had no idea how long... how bad."

"I'm so sorry," I told him.

He buried his nose in my hair, by my ear, right where he had bit me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't stop Aaron. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you. I killed you both. I couldn't live without you, Leah. When you die, I'm going with you."

I chuckled mirthlessly. "First, that's stupid. You can't go with someone dying. Second, you didn't kill me; I'm not dead, and I'm not planning on dying any time soon. If Ephraim's mind is any indication we'll have grandbabies in the making, and I'm not missing that."

I heard a female chuckle and turned my head. "Not too soon, I hope," Renesmee said, pulling the needle from my arm. "I'm not ready to be a grandma yet. I've barely had time to enjoy being a mom."

"How do I look, doc?"

She sighed. "You lost a lot of blood, obviously. Your metabolism has slowed enough that I worried about you rebuilding it. Your arm hasn't completely healed, although your ribs have. I expect the arm will be fine tomorrow."

"She's awake?" Didi asked, carrying in a tray covered in soup and sandwiches. "Then she should eat, right, Ness?"

"Just take it easy at first. Make sure it settles with her. I'll leave you three." She slipped out the door.

"I told you she'd be fine," Didi told Marcus.

Marcus declined to answer, running his tongue over my unique scar.

"How did I taste?" I asked. "As bad as I smell?"

Marcus chuckled. "Much, much worse. You've always smelled good to me, Leah. Not sweet or flowery, but musky and moist – not bad, never. Your taste, however..."

Didi laughed. "After he brought you to Ness, he vomited, drank a gallon of water, vomited that and then did it again. I think you must taste pretty bad, Mom."

I laughed too.

"Even that wasn't enough," Marcus added. "I hunted down two deer, a bear and a cougar after that."

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about you developing a taste for me."

His face as he shuddered was priceless. I pulled his lips to my own as I kissed him, laughing under my breath.

"Thanks for enduring it, anyway."

"I wasn't about to let you die on me. I'm just glad you told me to stop. I couldn't taste my venom through it."

I raised my eyebrows. I must taste _very _bad.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." Didi kissed my temple. "When you joined Ephraim and me, I thought you were already dying. You were like a ghost."

Marcus closed his eyes and buried his face again.

Aaron poked his head in the door. "Can I come in, too?"

Didi opened her arm that wasn't hugging me. Aaron put one arm around her and the other around my waist.

"Y'know," he complained, "If you want me to live without you, there are easier ways."

I let go of Didi and Marcus, grabbing Aaron in both hands as I sat up. I laughed as I hugged him, the silly boy. "I love you. I love you as much as I love myself." I pulled Didi into my hug as well. "Both of you. Never again," I whispered to myself. I kissed each of their cheeks, then pushed them away. "I need a moment with your father now."

"Of course, Mom. Come on, Aaron." She pulled her brother out behind her.

Marcus still hung his head. I turned, swinging my legs off the bed, facing him.

"I'm so sorry, Marcus." I took his hands. "It's not going to happen again, not like this."

He shook his head. "No, never again – I can't..."

"I can't beat her. I can't kill the bitch; you can't kill the bitch."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I don't want to kill any part of you," he practically cried. I knew if he were capable of it, he would have tears for me.

"I did. I was so angry, I didn't want to control it. I've been controlling it less and less, burying it. I can't do that anymore. I need to be more like Aaron and stop trying to be like Didi."

His brow crinkled. "You are neither Aaron nor Didi. You are Leah, the first female wolf, the love of my life. I had Didyme, and she was wonderful, but I don't want her back. I want you. I want angry you, and soft you, and you first thing in the morning."

"Fight with me."

He hung his head, shaking it.

"Every day, every week, fight me. I can't fight myself anymore."

He still shook his head. I growled and lifted the sandwich to shove in his mouth.

His head came up, and he grabbed my wrist. "Don't."

I smiled, pushing against his hold. He worked his fingers around to my ribs. I dropped the sandwich on the tray. "No!" I held my hands up.

"You told me to..."

"No! Marcus!" I shrieked. He slipped the tray to the floor and I started to roll across the bed, away from him and his tickling fingers. He pinned me, face-down under him, as he wriggled his fingers over my ribs.

"Please!" I begged after mere minutes, tears on cheeks. "Stop!" I giggled between screams.

When he finally did, I turned and saw Nessie shaking her head at us. "Well, if that doesn't prove your in fine health..."

"I can think of one more test," Marcus implied, kissing my neck, just beneath the scar.

"After she eats," Nessie warned, eyes hard for a second. Then she smiled and turned back to the door. "Enjoy!"

"Doctor's orders," he murmured, kissing his way down my neck until he was able to pass the tray back to me.

I gobbled my sandwich and drank my soup from the bowl. He laughed. "You don't have to rush."

"Says he who has his hands inside my pants." He did, not far, but definitely under the waistband. He pulled it a little and I gripped his wrist. "Don't you dare." I felt the _Wei Ha_ under my hand and it made me smile. I dropped the bowl with a clatter and pushed the tray aside.

He growled quietly and pressed himself against me again, curling into my side, his mouth at my ear.

"What does it look like, anyway?" I asked, fingering the scar.

I heard him whine very slightly. "Hideous. Promise you'll keep your hair long?" He kissed over and beneath, his cool tongue pressing into my throat.

"Mmm, I don't know, if it makes you cover it with your mouth."

He growled again, rolling over me. "I can think of better uses for that mouth of yours, too." He put his lips to mine to demonstrate. I reached down, pulling his shirt from his pants. His hands slipped into the waist of mine again, exposing my red-brown skin. It was such a stark contrast with his bloodless white hands.

He noticed me watching. He slipped the waistband down my hips and lifted my shirt to just below my breasts, exposing my entire abdomen. I was wearing Didi's clothes I realized now. He traced his fingers over my skin, drawing patterns, letters, hearts and arrows.

"Your skin is so warm, not just to touch, but to look at," he murmured.

I put one of my hands against one of his, lacing our fingers. "And yours is cold, hard, and smooth. It's like melting ice running over me." I pulled our hands higher, catching the bottom of the shirt again, exposing my dark nipple. I let his hand go and he traced that with his finger as well, making me shiver. "And they never warm up!" I complained through gritted teeth.

"Sure they do. This is colder." He licked my nipple and I gasped, clasping my hands around his sides, holding him tight to me. "Just like this is hotter." He slipped his fingers into my pants again, teasing my folds and making me squirm.

He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "I hope you don't mind some 'old people' sex."

I laughed, tipping my head back into the pillow. "No, not at all. I'm pretty sure I'm not up for anything acrobatic yet."

"Not until that arm heals at least."

The cast didn't restrict movement very much. I'd forgotten it was on. "At least. Before we get too wrapped up in the sex, do you forgive me?"

He kissed me gently. "Always. I hope you forgive me."

"I will." I hesitated, not really wanting to disturb this moment. But there really wasn't a better time to deal with this. "I don't have to forgive you biting me; that was my fault. But biting Aaron?"

He sighed. "I know. I don't know how I did it. I barely scratched him. It took him minutes to die. Minutes in which he possessed another man, Leah." He shook his head. "I know what I did wasn't right, but something had to be done, and Ness and I were the only ones there."

I closed my eyes and found the bitch. I screamed at him and pounded on his chest, but I didn't phase. I clawed his shirt, his hair, his face.

He gripped my hands intermittently and I would stop until he let go, then unleash on him again. He fought me though. He stopped me.

"Are you done?" he asked, releasing me again.

It seemed I was. I smiled through the tears still on my lashes. My hands reached out and he moved to stop me again, but they wrapped around his neck. "Thank you," I murmured, pulling him closer.

"I love you, Leah. Anything I can do, anything."

I slid my hands down his back, pulling his shirt up. "Well, there is something."

He pulled my shirt off before fully removing his own. He wrapped his arms under my shoulders, pulling me flush to him. My nipples instantly hardened against his cold skin and I drew a sharp breath. He continued to kiss me, rolling and pulling me atop him. My hands were still on his neck, in his hair. His now found my ass and cupped it. He squeezed and I groaned, shifting myself down and onto him. Our pants were still in the way, but it didn't stop me sliding along him, making the fabric rub on my sensitive skin.

He squeezed harder, pulling my cheeks apart slightly before pressing me along him again. This time he arched up as he did so.

"Oh forget this." I lifted one leg to whip my pants off the one side.

He stopped my hand from opening his fly though. I looked at him, confused, until his fingers reached for me. I let go of his pants to grip his sides as he manipulated my skin. He knew all my spots, where to pinch, where to pull, where to push. I was panting in no time at all.

He put his free hand to my neck and the back of my head, urging me to lean down onto him. As we kissed he doubled his pace, and I knew I would be climaxing soon. His mouth ate my cries, for which I was grateful. I clenched his hand and hips tightly in my own, waves of euphoria rolling over me. My mind was so fogged I didn't quite understand where he'd gone when I leaned to kiss him again and he wasn't there.

He was easy to locate as he pulled my hips up from the bed where they had sunk. He pushed into me and the ice spread through me before melting away. The thickness, the hardness remained, but the ice was gone. He held himself, deep inside me, as he leaned over my back, his mouth at my ear.

"You are my wife, Leah." My brain really wasn't functioning, why would he say that?

He drew out to his tip and thrust in again, forceful. I arched, catlike. My cheek slid against his. "Without you I have nothing." He wasn't really expecting me to answer was he?

Apparently not, because he drew out again, pausing there until I whined. His hips crashed into mine with a slapping sound. "God," I groaned.

"Without you I am nothing." He kissed my shoulder now.

I wasn't surprised when he pulled out and paused again. I started to squirm, wanting him in me. "Please," I begged when he doubled the time he waited. He plunged deep, pulling my shoulder to make me arch this time. I whimpered.

"You are my life, Leah." Maybe that was what he had said the first time...

He seemed to be done talking, thankfully. He moved his hands to my hips, holding them as he fucked me. I bit into the pillow, moaning into it. I was about to lose it a second time. He sensed it, of course. I don't know how, but he always knew. He buried himself in me as I screamed into the pillow, my hips circling against his, grinding on him. He let out a low growling groan of his own and I felt him throb, pulsing inside me and releasing his seed.

He laid his head on the pillow beside mine. "Now you have a full bill of health." He smiled smugly.

* * *

Well, I think this is the end of the line. Unless you really want to see Leah's Point of View when she meets her grandbabies? The next chapter, I believe, will be the end. Are you ready for it?

Thank you Sharebear, for all your help, beginning to end.


	23. Chapter 23

I knocked once before opening the cottage door. "Hello? I heard there were some babies here?"

"Mom!" Didi ran to hug me.

I hugged her, wondering why her arms were empty. "Where is he?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sleeping with Emily. Come on in. Good to see you, Dad." She moved to Marcus as I stepped over the threshold.

"Mom! You got old!" Aaron sat next to Laura, his wife, with his arm around her.

"Shut it, Brat." Just because there was a little more grey in my hair didn't mean anything. His wife looked older than he did, too. Just not as old as me. "What did Grandma Nessie say?"

"Not to call her Grandma." Ephraim came out carrying Emily. The plump six month old cried loudly, scrunching up her pink face.

Laura rose to take her daughter. "Hungry, is she?" She settled into a chair and lifted her shirt.

"Fine," I told Ephraim.

"She says Dad shouldn't hold them," Didi explained. "She's worried about setting off the gene. She thinks that's what happened to Ephraim."

Both babies, Aaron's daughter and Didi's son, were perfectly normal, human, well Quileute.

Marcus nodded sadly. I gave his hand a squeeze. "But we can see them, right?" I verified.

"Of course!" Didi chimed, leading us in the direction Ephraim had come, to the nursery. She opened the door.

Henry William Black lay on his back, kicking. The two month old wasn't asleep, and I ran to pick him up. "Billy! How are you, baby?" I curled him into my arm as I had his mother decades ago.

Didi ran a hand through my hair. "When did you phase last?"

I didn't answer, bringing the baby near enough to see Marcus. "This is your Grandpa. You probably won't get to see much of us, but we love you very much."

Marcus held a hand over the baby's black topped head. "Very much," he murmured.

I turned back to Didi, holding Billy - as they called him - out to her.

"You can hold him, Mom."

I wrapped my arms around Marcus once she had taken the baby. "I will."

Didi nodded and slipped past us, closing us alone in the nursery.

"I have a grandson. And a granddaughter." His voice was full of awe. "Normal, human babies. Who will never thirst for blood, never cringe on a sunny day."

I met his eye now, his brilliant smile. "I'm sorry you can't hold them."

"I'm not. Not if they can have a normal, full life."

I hugged him again. He lifted his hand and traced the lines at the corners of my eyes.

"I will. With Aaron and Eph," I told him. I didn't mind being part of their pack.

"Not for me. Don't do it for me." He ran his fingers through my hair as well, down to the middle of my back. I'd stopped cutting it when I stopped phasing regularly. It was about the same time Didi and Ephraim had married.

"Are you sure? I don't want you feeling left out." I was referring to the babies again. Whether or not I phased was up to me.

He shook his head. "They are beautiful babies, but they don't smell good." He wore a sheepish smile.

I laughed and pulled his face down for a kiss; it lingered. We might be having 'old people' sex, but my husband could still push all the right buttons.

He looked a couple decades younger than me now. I tried not to let it bother me, most easily by avoiding mirrors. My shape hadn't changed, so unless my greying hair came over my shoulder, I could forget that I looked closer to fifty than twenty-five.

He pulled his face away, and I relaxed my grip on his waistband, pulling my hand from inside his shirt. His hand was cupping my rear as the other held my neck.

"I'm going to need another room soon," he complained.

I hitched my leg over his hip. "Why is that?"

"Because you like a bed." He lifted me onto his waist, pressing his erection into me.

"This works for me."

He growled and unfastened our pants in seconds. "You realize our grandson sleeps in this room?"

"You realize our children can hear us right now. Shut up and take me." The sooner begun...

He did just that, pulling me from him to remove my pants. His were already at his ankles. He turned, pinning me to the door with his body.

"Yes," I murmured. I'd cooled enough that he didn't feel icy cold any longer. He still made me tingle with a touch.

His mouth found my throat as he buried himself in me. My breath caught and I fought to keep myself to a quiet moan. Laura didn't need to hear me.

Marcus moved his lips up to my neck, licking my scar. "You feel so good." He pulled from me only to plunge deeply again.

My head fell back to the door with a soft thump. He took three more long, slow strokes until I felt myself starting to squeeze on him and tightened my grip on his shoulders. I bit his lip, held between my teeth, and he sped up.

Whining cries escaped me. My body hummed. "Please tell me you're close," I whispered.

"Yes," he hissed, moving a little faster, a little more forcefully. My hips banged against the door, hard. I'd be bruised, but not broken. My climax stretched as he pressed full into me, his face tight with his own orgasm.

He opened dark eyes to mine. "I hope you don't get too old for this," he murmured as he helped me find my feet again.

"I hope for the same." He smiled, smoothing my hair and passing me my pants.

As soon as we opened the door, Aaron burst through. "Emily needs a change."

I plucked the baby from him. "Let me." Marcus followed me to the change table.

"You two seriously just had sex in the nursery?" he asked in shock.

"Yes, would you have liked to have watched?" I snapped.

"Leah," Marcus growled. I considered testing him. We hadn't had a good fight in months. I thought better of it. Knowing me, I'd need it more after I phased; it tended to make me irritable. I bowed my head and returned to Emily.

"Like I won't get to if you phase later."

I spun, my arm out to slap Aaron. Marcus grabbed my wrist, squeezing tightly, just short of real pain.

"Aaron," Marcus said coldly. His other hand was on Emily's torso, preventing her from rolling or squirming. "Apologize to your mother."

I pulled my hand back and Marcus let go. I turned back to the table, fixing Emily's diaper in place.

"Sorry, Mom. I was just teasing."

"I'm sorry I tried to hit you, Aaron. Would you like your daughter back?" I held her out to him.

"Not really," he said with a goofy grin. "I was hoping I could borrow the nursery."

"We have other rooms!" Ephraim called from the living area. "Ones with beds."

Laura was at the door with her hands on her hips. "What have you been telling them?"

"I told them nothing. I'm looking for a sitter to get some time alone with my wife." His voice turned to a growl at the end.

I chuckled, pulling Emily back to my chest. "Well, you have one. Didi, as long as you have milk, I'll take Billy, too."

She poked her head in the door. "It's in the freezer. Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime at all." I grinned taking Billy in my other arm. "Just like old times. Except this baby isn't trying to wriggle out of my grip." I put my nose to Billy's tiny one, rubbing it from side to side. Aaron was never easy to hold. Trying to carry both at once had been nearly impossible.

"Thanks, Mom." Aaron kissed my cheek, tossed his wife over his shoulder, and ran from the door. Laura screamed and kicked a little, though not fighting very hard.

"Yeah, thanks, Mom." Didi kissed my cheek and then hugged Marcus. "I'm so sorry you can't hold them, Dad. They'll love you anyway, you know that."

"I do," he said with a smile, kissing Didi's cheek now. "Go on; enjoy yourself."

There was a bear roar, and then a bear, Ephraim, bowled Didi over and ran from the room.

I chuckled. "Come, my sweets. Tummy time with Grandpa." I put them side by side on the rug in the living room where Marcus and I sat and watched for hours.

* * *

_a/n: for obvious reasons this next section is in the third person._

Dark skinned people circled the pile of deadwood. A few very pale figures stood apart from them, in a group. A man and woman, both with black hair, brown skin and blue eyes held a swaddled body between them. The corpse's face was deeply lined, her hair grey. Her russet skin had paled slightly with advanced age. The woman at her head and man at her feet lifted her onto the pyre.

Didyme kissed her mother's forehead. "Goodbye, Mom." A tear from from her face fell onto Leah's.

Aaron came to his sister's side, kissing her cheek first, and then his mother's. "We will remember you. And you will live, in all of these." He threw his arm wide, taking in all of her descendants. Grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren. None of them knew the pale-skinned people who stood with them, three women and two men. Chelsea clung to Marcus, feeling the absence of the connection between the two of them. Suplicia tried to weep, unsuccessfully, into Renata's breast. She had detested Leah every day they had spent together, but that hatred had given her drive; she missed it now. Alec stood, stoic, waiting for the end.

Ephraim came forward to Didi's side. Taking her hand, he wrapped it around a torch he carried. "Sister. You fought bravely. You protected your tribe and the tribes of others. You were a friend to those who would hate you. You were a comfort to those who had none. You have lived long, loved long, and you deserve the rest you have found. The Creator welcome you to His hunting grounds."

Didi's put the torch to the tinder at the head of the pyre. She gave it to Aaron who did the same at the foot. As the flame and smoke rose the assembly let out a ululating cry.

The youngest of those assembled began to depart. Didi and Aaron came to their father, hugging him on either side. Chelsea stepped away for them, taking Ephraim's hand instead.

"She counted you her best friend," Ephraim told her.

"She was. And she thought of you as her own son."

He nodded gravely, smiling wanly.

Marcus held his head up. It had been bowed since the ceremony began. The immediate family were the only ones left in the clearing. Leah's pall had burned, but the pyre was still fully formed. He kissed each of his children. "Goodbye," he whispered.

Didi wept, into his shoulder. "Goodbye, Dad. We love you."

"Don't do this," Aaron growled.

"You will understand. Your wives have been good to you, but none has been what she is to me. One day." He clapped Aaron's shoulder again and pulled away from him.

"No! Dad!" Aaron yelled, but Ephraim blocked his way.

"You knew this would come. Let him have this."

Aaron's jaw worked and then he ran from the clearing.

"He's really going to do it?" Suplicia asked.

They all watched as Marcus climbed into the fire, laying beside his wife one last time. He burned more quickly than she did. He started to writhe, nearly rolling off the bed of flames.

"Peace," Alec whispered, and Marcus stilled, his arms tight around the corpse.

Marcus sighed as the burn soothed away the last of his hurt. Then everything went black.


	24. Thickness of Blood

My second novel with Martin Sisters Publishing has been released. This one began with a picture for the first round of the Beyond the Pale Contest. The excerpt below was inspired by the picture of a girl in a short tartan skirt and skinned, bleeding knees. After writing just this snapshot, I had to continue the story. The main character is actually George. He's the one trying to find James, who raped his daughter. When he finds Lila, he can't help but feel responsible for her too. Thickness of Blood is about what makes family and what doesn't. I hope you'll consider stopping by MartinSistersPublishing. com for a closer look.

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Tag had always been Lila's favorite game. Not only did she love to run, she loved to be chased. She would let her pursuer come close, only to turn and sprint away in a new direction. She didn't get to play anymore.

"Lila!" her mother would chide. "Young ladies do not run." It was worse now that her breasts had started to form. They were still small, but apparently the way they moved was indecent.

Lila didn't care. She'd seen boys noticing them and liked it. She also loved the way it felt to run.

She didn't want to run anymore, didn't want to be chased. She wished James had never noticed her, or maybe that she hadn't noticed him.

"Lila. I thought this was tag, not hide-and-seek." His voice was light and playful, but Lila knew he wasn't playing.

_Hands gripping her thighs, tearing her panties away from under her skirt._

That was the first time he had caught her. He hadn't held onto her, though, his hands releasing her immediately after the loud tearing and her scream. She had run away, only to be chased again.

She had thought it was a game. When she had sat to tea with Mother, he had watched her. His smile was sweet and he was quite handsome. He was older, twenty to her fourteen. Still, she had thought he liked her, would tickle and kiss her. So when Mother had dismissed him and gone into the house, Lila had tagged him and run, hoping he would chase her.

If this was a game, she didn't want to play anymore. Her hair was tangled and full of twigs and dirt. Her arms and legs were covered in scratches. Her breath came in panting gasps, lungs burning.

He'd caught her three times, and she was sure the next would be the last. At least, she wouldn't be able to run anymore. Already, only her wits had kept him from catching her twice more. She was slowing, tripping more often, and he wasn't.

He didn't even breathe hard, his broad chest rising and falling smoothly. His sharp eyes scanned the tree line, searching for her. She could feel them when they found her. She turned and ran again through the thickest brush, snagging clothes and limbs.

She jumped a fallen log and caught her toe, falling hard in the leaf litter.

James landed atop her, knees on either side of her waist.

"Lila, Lila, Lila. You give good chase." He pulled the hair off her neck as she wept with pain into her arms.

"Please," she begged.

"Mmmm," he purred, licking her neck and ear, making her shudder with fear. "Please what?"

"P-please, let me go."

"I've always let you go, Lila. Haven't I?" he asked. His hand slid up her thigh under her skirt, where her panties no longer covered her.

"Please," she begged again.

He tsked as his hand cupped her bottom. He pressed her hip down and shifted his weight, his mouth by her ear again. "I love to hear you beg," he whispered. "You'll beg for more."

She sniffled as he reached up the back of her shirt and opened the back of her training bra. "D-don't hurt me," she begged.

"Have I hurt you, Lila?" he asked sweetly, his lips still on her ear.

She whimpered, unwilling to answer. He had groped her; he had exposed her. He had kissed her neck roughly, but he could do so much worse.

"I hope not. That wasn't my intention," he said soothingly. His hand slid to where no one had touched her before, where she knew babies and blood would come, but hadn't yet. She'd dreamed of being kissed, not ... this. She didn't want him to touch her there.

He just touched though, teasing.

"P-please," she whimpered again.

"You want that?"

"N-no!"

Too late, his finger slid inside her. She kicked one leg, but he pinned her thigh with a knee.

"Hold still," he warned in a soft voice. "It will hurt if you move too much."

She cried into her arms, willing the whole evening away.

"You must have wanted this, at least a little. Why else would you have approached me?" He pulled his hand away and backed up, sitting on his heels. A small reprieve.

She sniffled and pulled her legs under her. She couldn't run anymore. She couldn't fight him, he was too fast and too strong.

"Well? There was some reason you tagged me, Lila. What was it?"

"I-I thought you we-were beautiful. I-I thought you might l-like me." She continued to weep.

"Shhhhh." He pushed her hair back and stroked her cheek. She could smell something on his fingers and knew it was herself. She shuddered from his touch. "I do like you, Lila. Can't you tell?"

She sank a little lower, hunching in on herself, gripping her knees. They were scraped and bleeding.

"Oh, you poor thing," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her broken skin. His tongue lapped at the blood still oozing from the freshest cuts.

Something in the tender kiss, the care for her small pains, made her stop cringing away from him. "James?"

When his eyes lifted to hers, his smile was predatory. "Do you have any idea how good my name sounds on your lips?" he asked. "Yes, Lila, my butterfly?" He stroked her freckled cheek and she sniffed back tears again.

"Why are you doing this?"

He closed his eyes, obviously irritated and seeking patience. "Because I want you. I want you to be mine. Mine alone." His eyes locked on hers, steady, solid, reassuring. She wasn't scared anymore. She had been taught to obey her elders, and in this moment, James' authority seemed obvious.

"Why?" she whispered, not trembling any longer.

He ran his thumb down her throat, into the collar of her blouse, popping open the first button. "Because you are beautiful. Because no one else has had you, so you can be mine completely."

She gasped. His fingers continued to work down her shirt, popping buttons all the way, popping several right off. Her bra hung loosely on her shoulders. She expected the fear to return and didn't understand when it didn't.

One hand wrapped around her throat, his thumb pressing in under her chin. "Hold very still," he warned. The other tracked up her stomach, under her bra and cupped her tiny breast, his thumb rubbing the sensitive flesh.

She moaned, part in pain, part in pleasure. His touch was gentle, but her breasts were so tender. He would feel the vibrations of her throat through his hand.

"Yes, Lila." He leaned forward, his nose alongside hers.

She closed her eyes, awaiting her first kiss. He brushed her nipple as he kissed her, making her tremble again. "You are mine, aren't you?" he asked after their first, brief contact of lips.

"Yes," she answered.

"You will never run from me again will you?"

"No," she breathed.

"Good. I'm going to let you go now. You are going to go home. When you are in your bed, you are going to think of me. And you are going to touch yourself, here." He brushed her nipple again, making her gasp. "And here." He slid his hand down between her knees, tapping her pubic bone. "I'll be watching, Lila. I will know."

She sniffled and nodded slightly against his easing grip.

"Can you find your way home?" he asked, taking his hand from her throat and pushing back her hair.

"Y-yes." She tucked her chin, trying to protect her throat. She stared at her stained skirt.

He kissed her forehead, then her nose. "I'm glad. Make me proud." Her eyes shot up to his, confused. Kissing her again, he pressed his lips more firmly to hers. "Fly, my butterfly."

He stood and turned, walking away and leaving her alone with her scrapes and tears.

Lila sniffed twice more, wiping the tears from her cheeks before standing and buttoning as many buttons as she had left. She stumbled home.

"Lila! Where have you been? And what on earth have you been doing?! Look at you!" Her mother was livid. It wasn't the first time she'd played tag in brambles and ruined clothing, just the worst. "Well, you've missed supper, and if you hadn't, you wouldn't be getting any. Into the tub with you!"

Kicking off her untied shoes, Lila made her way to the bathroom. She avoided looking in the mirror while the tub filled and tried not to see her damaged clothes as she piled them on the floor. She couldn't avoid wincing when the hot water stung all her open cuts, and her eyes were drawn to the darkening bruises all over her legs and arms.

She closed her eyes and submerged her head in the water, willing it to wash her mind clean as well.

Wrapped in a towel, she finally dared look at herself in the mirror. Her skin was red from the hot water, but not enough to hide the thumbprint on her throat, half-hidden under her chin.

"James," she whispered as she touched it. Dropping her towel, she looked at her adolescent body. Her breasts were there, that wasn't deniable. She cupped them briefly, seeing how much the flesh moved. She looked lower and saw the red hairs that had started growing above the joining of her legs. She hated them. They were ugly and coarse.

She lifted her eyes to the mirror again, looking back at herself. She saw him looking at her, his eyes in place of hers. Squeezing them shut, she grabbed towel and clothes and ran from the room.

She lay on her bed, unable to sleep. She fought tears as she obeyed his last order. Her breasts were still tender as she touched them. The saltwater leaked out anyway, and she rolled to her side, continuing to massage one breast. She touched the coarse curls forming on her sex and gagged.

There was a tap on her window and her head whipped up. There was no one there, but another tap followed, a small stone.

Wiping her face, she found her nightgown and pulled it on before opening her window. It took a minute, but she found him in the tree across from her.

He blew her a kiss before jumping down. Apparently that was enough for tonight. She lay down in her bed and wondered if it would be very bad to belong to James.


End file.
